h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My girlfriends mate (Mighty Midget, and yes to her face) and myself took the now 10 month old, white, pups for a walk in a small valley come meadow.

First one (called H in hootoo land)drops into a stream he hadn't spotted (Shock and indignancy in one facial expresion, wish I'd had a camera!). He scrammbled onto the far embankment, no longer white or dry.

Second one (D for short) spots H's accident, goes to investigate and does the same. They don't like me laughing at them so started jumping up. One smudged Outrider and MM.

MM bends down to tie her shoe lace and H head butts her whilst nicking the beanie off her head. It hurt me more laughing than her getting hit (as did I by MM).

D picks up beanie and starts using it to clean the muddiest pool he can find.
Won't come to heel. Only drops the hat long enough to con you that you have an outside chance of gaining trophy.

H does a perfect recall. D is only collared when another dog appears and he forgets to guard the hat. 15 mins of not knowing whether to laugh or cry!?

To finish us off they won't get out of the car when we get home, even for treats. 2 hacked off pups. Took ages to clean (another task they play up for).

Result 2 happy, clean, dry dogs and 2 totally shot, wet and dirty humans.

It was so Douglas Adams, I swear he must have been watching

Aaawww!! Cute little puppies.

I can sympathise with you! A few years back I took my Granddad’s Labrador out for a rampage. I took her (all gleaming and golden) down to the Severn estuary, and returned her in a beautiful shade of gray sludge. She’d had a great time, Granddad’s then wife wasn’t so keen on her new look though.

The boys like the woods and beach. So they get covered most of the time. All their fun seems to involve dirt and smells, but that's dogs!

Did you catch the thread about the walk with my mate Max? Typical boxers, all fun!

My problem is the fox which keeps following us. My dog is a friendly thing, and so will not recognise the danger. My vet, a chap called Bradley Viner, told me to get a water pistol as I don't want to hurt the fox, just scare it off, and this sounds like a good idea.

Shoot at the 'poop' area! it won't come back, although it might think it is incontinent. It might also frighten it off humans and save it's life.

Picture it. I'm strolling around the steets late at night with a dog on a lead, and a gun sticking out of my pocket. A bit like a Clint Eastwood western.........Or perhaps James Bond!!!

Even worse should the gun go off prematurely!

Imagine if you were stopped by a wooden top?

If the gun went of prematurly, I'd have a wet patch down the leg of my jeans which would take a bit of explain ing, as to the woodn top, I'm sure he'd understand........Then again, he is a wooden top.

Worst case scenario: Wet trousers and a fox that dies laughing?

Solves the problem, I suppose.

Also depends if he's Basil Brush, I suppose
Boom Boom!

If he isn't wearing a coat and got an indelicately placed hand it isn't Basil.

I've often wondered about that hand myself. Saw it this morning, the fox that is not the hand, and took the gun from my pocket. It stopped and looked at the water pistol. I had it barrel pointing downwards. When I raised it and pointed it, the gun that is, the fox ran. I wondered if it has experienced guns before? A friend suggested an empty weashing up liquid bottle cleaned out and filled with clean water would have a more powerful spray. I met a chap yesterday walking his dog who said look out the fox is around the corner, but I never saw it. He had a boxer, incidently.
Anyway, how are your boxers, the dogs I mean not the underwear?

Bless the little angels, they are almost swiming. It's a tale yet to be written up in my journal. They have also developed a liking for rolling in Basils deposits (And it stinks). So swiming could come in handy for them .

We're off to a Boxer Bash latter in the year. Personally I think that they could have come up with a name that doesn't suggest a cull, especially as mine are white. I sense a whole chapter of tails(sic) waiting for us.

Yup, got the joke Tails.
I see what you mean about the names. I jokingly said to some-one that you don't give a Jack Russell a name as it has one already, Jack Russell. But he didn't get the joke.

You're being a bit harsh LW. Most dogs wouldn't get the punch line to that one.

Boom Boom

Opps Basil Brush catching up on me.

Sad to say I just learnt this Saturday that the poor thing's gone blind, and they are talking about removing it's eyes to avoid infection.

As it's a wild animal I'm not too sure that's the best for the fox.

Imagine the scene :-

Basil is alone in the woods whe suddenly he hears the distant sound of a horn. He points his ears towards the horn and finds the echos of beating hooves and baying beagles approaching. Smart fella, he turns and runs in the opposite direction..................................
Crash!! He's run straight into an oak tree, knocks himself out. waking only to find..................................................
Half a dozen fat horsemen lying on the ground rolling in the throws of heart attacks after laughing at the poor fellows calamity (he figures out the sounds, you see?) with 20 or so beagles gorging themselves on the finest equarian flesh money can't buy. engrosed with pictures of the castrophe he has caused, he too suffers a heart attack laughing at the fallen. Poor thing.

No. It just wouldn't be fair to the fox!

The Jack Russell is going blind, I meant.

Yeouch!

Sorry to hear that. Not really a lot I can say, more than that. Having white boxers we too have to be alert to such troubles.