h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He's very good for a man with a jacket that colour.

FB, sorry I had to go. I'm back now. Do you have any more questions?

wha..?

Oh...no, i think thats all i had to ask you.

There have been no other applicants for the job but even if there had, I'm sure that you would be by far the best!

You're hired!

Oh dear me *dries eyes* he he he aah dear he he oh yes.

Are you still being interviewed Vestie? I thought you'd got the job - why else would Mr Widdle have turned up?

*looks at Trin*
Is he really your favourite?
*Partially overhears joke about spanners and whippets and starts to snigger*
He is quite good.

he he

He might do the one about the pigeon in a minute

Mickey Widdle: My mother-in-law has this pigeon, right? ...

he he he

he he he

MW: You've been a wonderful audience, you really 'ave - goodnight.



*Mickey Widdle waddles off the stage*

MW: So, do I get a show here? Who do I 'ave to talk to?

Well, Mr Vestboy here is, as of just now, the Social Events Coordinator, Mr Widdle sir and could I have your autograph could you sign this please? *produces limited edition LP 'Mickey Widdle Live at the Skegness Apollo'*

MW: There you go lad: get me a pint, would you?

Oo yes, Mr Widdle!

MW: So, Vastbuy is it? Well, I've got me rider and me travelling expenses - let's talk s

*Without checking budgets with the management Vestie launches in*
Mr Widdle, as you know you are a great hit in the north but here in the... Where is HHH? other unspecified place you are quite a newcomer. Trin has highly recommended you and your grasp of the neo classic revisionist irony of the relationship of the spouses maternal parent to the rest of the family is quite informed in an unprepossessing sort of way...

How about 5 s and all you can drink?

Meanders in, looking a trifle sunstruck.

Smiles at everyone,

Could I have a large glass of dry white wine?



Transit of Venus was a laugh!

Hi vestboy!

Mickey Widdle: Well, I'll 'ave to 'ave a word wi' me manager, but I think we'll be able to shake on that. *Notices Gadarene* Well...'ello there!

*Trin returns with pint for Mr Widdle. Notices him leering at Gadarene. Is caught in monstrous, head-splitting dilemma*

Ow

*Nips off for glass of dry white wine and, on returning, having made his decision, interposes himself between his former comedic idol and Gadarene*

Just back from the beach? You want to be careful, you know, sun's very powerful today - I could fetch a parasol if you'd like.

Mickey Widdle: Now, look 'ere son...

Not now Mr Widdle

I have a quart jug of beer on this table over here Mr Widdle, or can I call you Mickey? f you would like to come this way.
*Steers MW towards a quiet table at the back of the bar.*
Would you like a large bowl of peanuts and some crisps?

Hi Gadarene! I've got a new job! Are you pleased for me?

Hi Vestie,

Fantasic!

Me too!

or even fantastic.

I can't blame the keyboard, it's just my incompetance.....

Is yours an HHH job too?

Ladies and gentlemen, I just heard that Ray Charles died.



And nothin' else matters babe
We're together again

Rest in peace, Mr Charles

*sits quietly in the corner with *

*Shuffles Mickey Widdle into a taxi with a promise of pandas aplenty if he turns up on time for the show*
Good ole Ray! How sad. I always think that musicians are blessed in the fact that they can leave us something of their performances when they go.

Hi Lil, can I join you. I've got a new job y'know. I'm supposed to be organising social events. How about a charity event? Any ideas for a fundraiser - or a cause to give it to?

Hello and good day to everyone! Sorry I haven't been here in awhile - something unexpected came up on another planet and I had to make a quick trip.

So sorry I missed Lady P's farewell party. Here's a toast to Lady P. and hoping she's having a splendid holiday!

Also so sorry to hear the new of the passing of Mr Ray Charles. He was truly a pioneer is his field. Hopefully Trin will be playing a few more of his pieces in the days ahead so that we can remenisce and honour him.

And contratulations to you, Vestboy, on your new position!!! Social Director! Why, they couldn't have picked a better person for it!

I'm also looking for some type of employment around HHH, and have already spoken to management about it. I was about to give them a response, but they told me to take more time, so more time it is! I think I am going to have to go with something part-time, though, since I am contantly bopping around from here to there and often seem to be in a little time zone of my own.

How are you at Public Relations? We may need someone to help advertise the events in the hotel. I have an idea for a quiz night. Inter Galactic Etiquette - Are You a Polite Traveller or Do People Hide the Silverware? Whaddya think?