h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm late because the wheel of my car popped.

For this, prepare. In advance, make sure your car always has at least one broken tire in the back, and don't hesitate to answer when someone asks you which tire, where, etc. Also, have a good friend to back you up if you ever car pool.

Thanks for that excuse... its very plausible. I'd test it out except I don't have a car
Joanna

Okay, how about this: steal one. When the police ask them why you're doing it, explain to them how it's really your friends car. Have a driver's license, and make copies of your friend's car's registration. They should let you off without even a warning!

PS
I am a trained professional in the art of making excuses. I advise against trying this at home. When stealing a car, it's best to do it out side.
Afgncaap5

Okay, so should I now look for a guide entry on breaking into popular models of car?

No, I checked and there aren't many really good entries on that subject. I'm affraid we'll have to not consult the Guide on this (gasp!) Okay, here's the excuse for not using the Guide this time: the computer crashed. Okay, we need to forge some kind of bill, and have the local repairman sign it. . .

We don't, I'm using windows. Windows crashes. Fact of life. We just need to say the computer got confused by all the different internet protocols, and insisted on using the wrong one. I couldn't get a note becuase it was sorted out over the 'phone, but you can have my problem's reference number, if you like [secure in the knowledge i will be almost meaning-less to them]

Yes, yes, that's very nice. I would have trouble believing it, but that's because I have never had Windows crash on me, I have never had a PC crash on me, I have never had a Mac crash on me, etc. The only thing that ever crahsed on me was a Commodore 64. Now, you have the reference number of the problem. Did you already contact the operator of this page? They might get suspicious.

Well no, I didn't think it was a big enough deal. When they get in touch with me, I'll say 'of course I had a reason. This is it... surely you didn't think I wouldn't have had? I didn't think you'd want to be bothered with it.'
PS What computer do you use?

Currently, I have a PC/Packard Bell/Windows 95. It runs at about the speed of a wolly mammoth. It's better than the brontosaurus I had about a year ago.

Since you don't have a car, maybe you have a dog team. Then again, maybe not.
If you did, a good excuse for being late is;
"My lead dog has diarrhea."

Azizcohos, thanks for that excuse... inventive? has it ever happened to you?
Afgncap5: And how do you get your computer to not crash, then. Even the first network computer I tried this morning froze while loading netscape

In life, you are given certain amounts of success. But, if you're succesful in one thing, you will probably have bad luck elsewhere. I can run about any computer, but because of that, any computer that isn't mine hates me. Sorry, to get your computer to like you, you have to get more kinds of accidents. Or something. Go to my holistic detective ageny. I think we might be able to help you there.

Sorry I am late......

For some strange reason, I had no hot water this morning, and couldn't have a bath...

The head snapped off my shower, so I had to wait and run a bath instead....

I was out of petrol, but I had to wait ages for this big tanker to refill the pumps before they would let me fill up my car...

My kid had been playing with my car keys, and it took ages to find them....

An ex of mine made the following exuse after turning up amazingly late once:

"Sorry I'm late. I had driven half way to your house when I accidently did a U-turn at a roundabout and drove all the way back home before I realised what had happened."

I don't know if this counts as an excuse, as the idea of an excuse is to get you out of trouble, rather than further in it. Hopeless, completely hopeless!

I live in Bradford (A very windy place) and sometimes the wind is very strong so the best excuse I have is that the wind won't let me get into College.

Thanks Sally... it was windy here this morning, but not that bad!