h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"...Only I was on the internet, this great site called h2g2, and I lost track of time as I was following someone around."

Had to put that one in here.

.. I got mistaken for a famous film star and the fans just wouldn't leave me alone, I had to sign hundreds of autographs before I could even get into the library.

Not really but no-one's going to know here.

Canis meus id comedit
(My dog ate it!)
-1

1. My sister threw the key to our house into the toilet and flushed it... we couldn't get out

2. I couldn't get past the leopard in the corridor

3. Inter pedis puellarum est fortuna puerarum (And this is a REAL excuse used by someone in an ancient Roman play, if I'm not mistaken by Vergil, it's Latin by the way)

4. The world seemed to have conspired against me (cf. "The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul", the first 2 pages about airports and being late)



PP

I love latin and am fascinated by it... unfortunately I never got to study it
Any chance of a transalation, PP?

Inter pedis puellarum est fortuna puerarum.
Between the girls' legs is the boys' fortune.

This is really a quotation from a Roman play where a guy arrives late because of messing with his girlfriend



PP

Nice to see somepeople speaking Latin!

How about: My bus was hijacked (?)

by evil terrorists, and they wouldn't let us get out. It all ended peacefully, thats why you won't have heard it on the news... they kept it quiet for legal reasons

This one I heard was for real:

I can't come into work today God pushed a note under my door telling me I had to stay home and pray.

Now that is scary.
I'll try to update the article soon...

Nice follow up to the bus thing!!

...but are there such things as good terrorists?

Presumably if you are a terrorist yourself, you would consider yourself good. Also if there were terrorists fighting for something you believed in then you could also consider them good....

point taken...

I'd say all terrorists are evil, though, because regardless of the cause I disagree with their methods

Turn up wearing a dark tie and suit and say you had to attend a relatives funeral. NOTE always record which relatives you have killed off and where, otherwise it coild be embaressing to kill off 3 mothers, 6 grandmopthers and Uncle Tom 12 times all to the same collegues.

...my wombat has herpes.

(Woody Allen)