h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*NYC frowns at the lack of explosive charm. Once again, he must do things manually. He shoots the missile. There. That solved that. Now if only all his problems could be solved this easily. He turns to shoot Affy5, who at this point has made his escape.*

[Ray uses Force Speed to avoid the results of the missile, and attempts to grab NYC in a half-nelson from behind and knee him in the back several times ... and still using Force Speed]

*Ray shields the missile from being blasted out towards the residential lobby, but there'll need to be a clean-up crew in evil-Affy5's room. The large doomsday weapon slides off the crumpled dolly and lands on the floor loudly. Before NYC can react, Ray's got him in a half-nelson, and the gun's out of reach*

[NYC] What the--

*knee in the spine*

[NYC] --OW!

*NYC backs Ray into the wall. Harshly.*

*Four security officers melt out of the shadows at the sound of explosions in the Residential Lobby. Seeing a fight in progress, the officers look at each other questioningly. Two begin shooting at NYC while the other two begin shooting at Ray*

[Ray dodges the shots by running up the wall a la The Matrix, kicks off, and produces his pocket ... two soda cans!? (Both are full.) He then throws each at one of the security officers, combining Force Speed with telekinesis to move them at roughly half the speed of a bullet, aimed at their foreheads.]

*NYC, with Ray's attention diverted, retrieves his gun and hides behind the doomsday weapon from the guards. He then pulls out a bottle of Argentinian merlot with a sponge stuck in the top, and lights it*

*One of Ray's targets is hit and knocked senseless, the other succesfully dodges. One of NYC's assailants decides that Ray is the more deadly target (not seeing the impending bomb) and turns his attention to Ray. Two ray blasts shot at Ray, one soldier trying to run around the large weapon to get a better fix on NYC*

[Ray dodges with ease, then raises his hand, attempting to use the Force to throw the two guards shooting at him against each other.]

*The guards are thrown into each other, but they recover quickly, taking some more careful shots at Ray*

[Ray] [dodging some more] Okay, no more Mister Nice Evil Twin.

[Ray uses his telekinesis to pull their guns away, then uses Force Choke on them. If you don't know what that is, you haven't seen Darth Vader in action.]

*The two guards attacking Ray begin stumbling on the ground, unable to concentrate on the fight*

[Ray grins, tightening his grip.]

[Ray] Fighting is SO much easier when you have no compunctions about killing your opponents ...

*NYC is about to throw the cocktail at the group and Ray, when one of the officers rounds the doomsday weapon and flanks him. Startled, NYC chucks the bomb at the guard's head, and while waiting for the FOOM of searing flesh, NYC runs directly towards and dives at Ray.*

[NYC] Yaaarrr!

[Ray uses the Force to catch NYC in midair, a la what Jean Grey does to Toad in the first X-Men movie. He doesn't let up on the guards, though.]

[Ray] Actually, no, I'm his evil twin, Ray.

Wakka-wakka-wakka, as Fozzie would say.


*The guard is hit, and he begins rolling around on the ground. Trained for this, however, he first hits the Sprinkler Initiation button on his belt. The room is soon witness to a deluge, which promptly saves the guard's life, though not leaving him without some nasty burns*

Injured Guard-*Into microphone*....special backup required....super beings....Greklas division....

[NYC, hovering] Well isn't THIS a fine how-do-you-do! Where'd you come from, anyway?

*Skullock who has been, for some reason or another, overlooked until now suddenly leaps into the frey putting his claymore into an unsuspecting gaurd, in attemps to silence him.*

[Ray] Let's just say ... I'm the version of your buddy Yar who's like Gandalf would've been if he'd decided to steal the One Ring.

[He slams NYC into the ground, then starts calmly walking towards the door.]

*NYC looks at Ray strangely, then uses the free moment to call up Narg*

[NYC] Hey Nar--

*general sounds of coughing and spluttering sound over the phone. NYC makes a face. He dials Khan*

[NYC] Kha-!

[Khan] Can't talk now! Busy! *BOOM*

*NYC stares at his phone in disbelief. He then returns his attention to Ray*

[NYC] Hey, wait a sec! Who's side are you on, anyway?

[Ray pauses, and considers this]

[Ray] Put me down for "against Yar." On whose side you seem to be at the moment. So ... no offense, really, but ...

[He shrugs]