h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just that Blonde would make me look very strange... its a colouring thing
*Joanna gazes out through shades*

Roger. Understood.
*The last donut is fed to the EBD, which stops.*
Woa! Spambelt reading 0kN! Time to spin down the wipers!
*Turns of wiper engine.*
*Thunderous noise stops.*
*Joolsee emerges, oil stained and exhausted, but grinning hugely.*
This car's gonna do the job, team! Next we prepare for the first run of Doughbird on the beach.
*Pats Doughbird lovingly on the slats.*

Does that mean I can temporarily stop biting my lip...?

Yes, thanks E. Your lip can stand down till the next phase of testing.

Thanks Joolsee. *E temporarily stops biting her lip*

Great Job, everything ship shape, I mean, shed shape. Keep that supercharger set to max-occasionally for the first taxi run, and remember it's 1.50 a minute while stuck in traffic.
*looking under engine bench*
This spam belt is a little rough, we may need to upgrade to a Cornish game hen belt (looks like a belt, tastes like a game hen (But much like the spam belt contains no meat.)).

*DD comes to track side, but why is he wearing a blonde wig, biting his lip and looking concerned*

DD, give me my wig back...

Sorry E, I was just trying to hide from those crazed fans who think I'm Tom Cruise.

*E doesn't know if she should comment or not... She decides not too...and takes her wig from DD...*

*Several hundred crazed females run towards DD*

Help E, stop them before I get trampled.

*E quickly hands DD her wig & sunglasses...deciding that he needed them more than she did...*

Wow! It's like 'Baywatch' in here with all the blonde-wigging, lip-biting and DD's. I've just nicked over here to Melbourne for the Grand Prix to give the Ferrari team a bit of a nudge in the right direction.
I have some good news.
I've knocked off Schumacher's racing suit and helmet and will be faxing them through. I will arrive via fax straight after the suit, so don't hang up. All we need to do is rip off his name tag and write, 'Joolsee' on.
I will also be creeping around the BAR camp to see if I can stuff Dannii Minogue through the fax as a lip-biter understudy.

Does anyone know why there are several hundred women wandering all over the beach looking under towels 'n stuff?

Haze. Roger on the Minogue front (so to speak). E will still be Lip Biter-in-chief (of course), but it would be fine to have some stand-ins in case of indisposal. And DD of course.

Good news about the racing suit, though we may need a smaller helmet. HRASC may have a problem with the coverage, but I'm sure we can adapt it to their specifications. We can get it HRASC approved before the first run.

Oooooooooooo! I'm getting excited!!

Me too.

*DD bits lip and looks concerned, after all he's writing anarticle od Edmund irvine Jr*

*DD flashes large and obviously fake eyelashes*

Hey, DD, those false nails are affecting your typing.

If DE were around, I'm sure he'd lend you some shoes.

So what happens next with the whole breaking records thing...?