h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Goes to cupboard. Reaches through the wigs. Brings out a pair of shades.*
*Walks over to E.*
You're going to need these.
*Places the shades on E's face.*
*Joolsee tries to look like Tom Cruise, only taller.*
*Manages the taller part.*

*E is now ready to fulfil her role as the blonde girl in shades...*

She bites her lip once more and looks concerned...

I'd be very concerned, especially if I was your lip!
You weren't a Vampire in a former life, were you?

No. But I think some of my concern might be over how much time I spend biting it... Either that or stress...

Hi Everyone, Almost ready to fire this baby up? I got here Justin Time(points to midget, who gives a grudging smile, a wave and walks away)good mechanic but he's not having a great day, I am though. Lemme just do some tweaks to the rubberband drive, and we should be ready to rock and roll!
Everyone got there running shoes on?

*Joolsee looks serious.*
OK ted. I'm ready.
Is the RBD pre-tensioning system OK?
How's the *looks really serious* spam belt?

RBD - Check
Spam belt - Canned and ready
Clear!

OK. I'll just have to get undressed.
*Removes all clothing, puts on goggles and gauntlets.*
Sorry about this. It's a HRASC thing. See http://www.h2g2.com/A229303 for more details.
OK. Wish me luck everybody!
*Opens hasp on shed door, sorry, Doughbird DPSSC's door.*
Ready for first engine test!
*Sound of garden machinery being knocked over.*
Sorry, it's dark in here.
OK ted, turn her over. Then start the engine.

All Right, here it goes...
*opens security console shutter and punches in CM code, which is just the number 1 pushed 33 times, pulls a large crank from toolbox and inserts into a specially modified mouse hole*
CONTACT
*begins cranking frantically, and, like the sound of many doughnuts being consumed at once the engine whizzes smoothly to life*
Back off the throttle a bit, it's just to the right of the spade shovel.

Hey! Hey! Listen to that baby roar!
The engine sounds pretty good too.
OK to take her up to 20dpm?

*Looking at the digital Spamometer*
Yeah, wait till you've got full doughnut pressure or we could flood the maxillarator. Keep an eye on the SB if that slippes the RBD will engage! You have got the emergency brake on right...
She sounds great!!
Oh, hang on a sec, I think I hear the phone *runs to nearby payphone*

Hey, It's me. Aerodynamageek. Is Joolsee wearing the wingtip shoes? They are absolutely CRITICAL!
Also, make sure the slat windows are closed. I've checked the hemi and the supercharger is running absolutely sometimes. Remember to switch on the wipers. Those bugs are going to be like small, squishy BULLETS at speed. I've raked the front of the shed to a 30 deg angle. It doesn't help much, but it looks sexier.

I'm going to monitor everything right here in the Elephant & Wheelbarrow research station LIVE via hearsay.

*Voice crackly through intercom*
Wingtips on. Laces secured.
Wipers.......wipers on!
*Hemi roars into life, drowning out the EBD.*
I'm reading 2,000kN on the spam belt. Is this OK?
Wipers set to.....120bpm.
How's the telemetry?
Do you have any data on total power output?
Is E still biting her lip and looking concerned?
Over.

I can't see from here, but I will if you like 'till she gets back

Roger Joanna.
(If you see what I mean.)
You'll find a blonde wig and a pair of shades in the cupboard.
Thank you.
Over.

*E returns, biting her lip & looking concerned that she might be late...*

*E remembers what she's supposed to be doing*

*She bites her lip & looks all concerned about Joolsee...*

*Puts on shade... thinks about wig but decideds it would look~very~ wierd, and probably not like what Joolsee has in mind*
*Bites lip in a concerned manner*

Sees Eomando and abruptly ceases looking concerned, although keeps the shades 'cause they're cool and its sunny*

This may not be a good time, what with me in the middle of an engine test and all, but why would Joanna look weird with a wig on?
(It's fine about the concerned look and the lip biting, BTW. E is handling that side of things excellently.)
Over.

Yeah, the shades are pretty neat, aren't they?