h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It was laying on the pool decking, so I didn't eat it 'cause it got all soggy when Helena pushed Dr. E in. I'd love some fresh french toast! Out of curiosity, does anyone know what the French would call french toast? Just "le pain" (translation is: "the bread", not "the pain")?

~Irving

Helena takes the sign and sticks it up her top...come fetch then...

Says who? Whose swimming pool is this, anyway? People are free to wear what they want!

What are you doing? You're not entitled to touch that sign, it's council property!

And that includes signs, if they so desire!

Yes, thak you Blue, so if the council want their sign back they'll have to chase me!!

that stuff doesn't exist in France, Irv, I know - I looked for it. Purely american invention, and I wouldn't know why it's called "french", just like with the kiss....

*dives into the pool for a quick refreshing swim before wandering dripping off to the kitchen again...*
where did I leave that apron... *exit Cook and soggy french toast*

Right, young lady, you leave me no option!
*starts to chase Helena around the poolside in comically speeded-up fashion, as the theme from the Benny Hill Show plays in the background*

I never knew a swimming pool was such fun!

*reemerges from hole*
iiiiiiiiIIIIIIiii..... *presses back to wall to save the fresh toast from being splashed by the wild hunt passing by*

erm... *wanders shyly over to Irv, all the while watching the interesting sight of a running Helena*

quite a view here, good you got rid of David Hasselhoff....

Shouldn't there be someone yelling "no running around the pool!", though? Seems like someone might fall in...

~Irving

Sniff... sniff... are you absolutely sure you didn't overdo the amount of chlorine in this water?

I guess that's the job of one of the lifeguards. They work here in the pool too, you know.

*whispers to Irv* no no no no! If those... erm, you know what... fall into the water we wont be able to watch'em hopping... hush!
*blushes a deep crimson*

It's safe... No-one's trying to poison you, and we have a nice corner where you can erect a bomb-shelter if you still feel everyone's trying to kill you.

No, no, it's quite all right. I've got over that paranoia now. I intend to enjoy my swim...

*launches himself into the water, and promptly gets sucked down the exit plug*

Aaarrrgghhh!!! Where does this pipe go? Not to the sewers, surely? Please say no... PLEASE say no...

no.

See you in the sewers!

I knew it! I KNEW it! This is all a conspiracy! A CONSPIRACY I tell you!

I'll be back...

There's paranoid, and there's Roasted Amoeba....

Don't worry - the water's perfectly safe for anyone LARGER than microscopic size.