h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's because he was looking at me.

*resisting temptation to be nasty*

I think the eyes have it.

True - but when the hands have it too, you start to get worried.
Shall we return to the slide?

Is that the slide of western/eastern civilization.
The other slide of life.
The slide of the houses in Southern California, down mountains.
Or the water slide?

Slide guitar?

Slide on over for another drink?

*sings* Slip slidin' away..

*joins in the singing*
Slip slidin' away ....
*stops with a profound light bulb going off look*
slip .... slide
slip slide
slip n' slide
Yeah!!!!!!!!!!

*For those that don't know a slip n' slide is basically a plastic tarp layed on the ground with water sprayed over it. One then runs at the water laden plastic tarp, and throws themself onto it, thus causing the slide*

* returns to forum, stepping and slipping on wet tarp *

YEEEAAAARRRRGHH!!!

Don't tell me we've got another body to hide?

* hobbling * Someone put that there to stop me participating in the Men's Bikini Contest!

And I had the perfect g-string bikini picked out too! * sobs * Why meee!?!

You're wearing a G-string? We DO need to kill you! Put you out of our misery!

~Irving

But there's no reason why you shouldn't enter the bikini competition..
Go on, enter your name in the forum - you can wear a bikini sitting down.

*suddenly realizing what an obstacle the slip n' slide is ... grabs it and moves it over by the air raid shelter*

There, now we can have some protection from missiles while we slide.

*runs at slip n' slide and jumps on it doing a fantastic imitation of a fish out of water*

WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

*notice the doppler effect *

*follows courtesy*
woopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
-saffire

I have a fear of bathing suits... well, not really, but I hate wearing them.

~Irving

Actually, you're right to be afraid of them. Bathing suits have caused untold deaths in the last 20 years... They kill ruthlessly, without mercy, without conscience... They have made beaches very dangerous places to be... I don't know what everybody's wearing here, but I hope it's safe...

I have made sure that everything I wear conforms to the BSI Kitemark of safety, so I will not be affected by the deadly bathing suits. In case any invade - we have HMS Sandown out in the bay to strike it down - and I trust we can rely on your apache?

To guard against deadly bathing suites I use only ISO 9000 compliant bathing suites

*said with best commercial announcer voice*