h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was in the military, attending my first career specialty training course in electronics at Sheppard AFB, TX. We had lecture buildings and practical lab sections. While at one of the basic electronics courses, I wandered into the break room for a snack and began milling about with new recruits in other specialties. I happened to bump into a young lady and the nametag on her uniform said "Lingus".

I just had to ask. "Excuse me, Miss, what's your first name?"

Demurely, she answered, "Connie..."

Now I ask, what parent in their right mind would do that?

thinkNitthruB4ihaveanotherkid

I once dated a Marion Christmas and I work with a Rob Hood (yes, his name is Robin but for obvious reasons he insists on Rob). I had a dentist once who was named Dr. Payne, and his parents were silly enough to chose his middle name Hart after his grandfather, which caused me to ask why he didn't go into cardiology!

His first name is Grahame, but what ever caused my auto body shop owner to chose that profession when his last name is Dent?

Well, don't have any of these myself, but my friend goes to school with a 'Justin Case'...which isn't in of itself amusing, but would get a little annoying for him, don't you think?

Somewhere out there, there is an actual person named Randy Gaylord. Look him up.

Tee hee hee!

Okay, that must be the British version (and upper crust, at that) to one of the guys that works at the nuclear plant with me. His name is Randy Mann. It got a bit 'awkward' for the secretary who was responsible for canvassing overtime to call his name over the paging system, so she now calls him Randall.

We also have a Steve and a Michael Hunt, brothers that work in different departments. Paging Michael can also be awkward. "Michael Hunt to Line 5. Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"

B4another'fox-pass'

I wonder if Samantha Janus has a brother called Hugh.

I have been assured that the following names are real by the people who told me about them.

My friend from Oz, (where else?) knows a Shirley Curly, a Debbie Dobbie and a .... wait for it.. Duane Pipe!

Another friend of mine knows a Russell Sprout.

Those parents should be sterilised and then shot!

Our local pub landlady is Mary Christmas

I know a person on HooToo, whose name is...






Never mind. They're pretty much ALL puns of some sort.

B4mymonikergetsnoticed

Richard's something you don't name your modern kiddies is it?

Or Roger.

But then again, there is that parent who allowed her first child to name the baby and named her 'Laa-laa'.

Aside from names there is a 'Gaylord Entertainment Center' in the US of A. A sports arena.

Ah yes, Gaylord Arena, where th Nashville Predators play. Ice hockey has its fair shair of funny names actually. There is a certain goalie named Mr. Tugnutt as well.

My girlfriend went to school with a damn t**t. Sorry! Adam Twatt. Or A. Twatt. Whatever you want to call him.

However, the funniest one I thin I've ever heard goes to my flat mate and, believe it or not, it isn't smutty! He went to school with a girl whose name was... Megan Bacon.

Ha ha ha!

Ali

There is a tradesman in Scunthorpe whose business rejoices by the name of Leakey Plumbing

B

There's a football player in England called Paul Dickov

(Ouch)

A teacher at my school was called Hugo Igoe.

Phillip Atio would be a dodgy name, but luckily I just made it up.

I was sitting in 7th period the other day, waiting for the beel to ring, when a woman came over the intercom. Her words, verbatim, were: "Will Linen Sheets please coem to the office, Linen Sheets." I thought this might be some kind of prank, but I looked her up in the school directory when I got home. Sure enough...

I went to college with a lovely young british lass whose parents must have been hoping to have a porn star in the family since they named her Destiny Bedwell.

And then there is Mr. and Mrs. Daw of Pennsylvania, whom I remember reading about in the late 1970's. It seems their son had taken them to court as a young adult. His first name? Zippitydoo.

Honestly, shouldn't that be considered child abuse?

OK, it's not smutty, but I do know a Julie Doolie.

And I'm sure someone told me about a Jordan Jordan.

My friends dad hse the name... Jack Goff

That reminded me of one of my old bosses, I believe it was a Dutch name but it was Keys Hoff. He has a cousin named John Hoff, never to be called Jack!