h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* shakes head sadly *

Deary deary me.

What dose the Dr's wonderful? treatment involve then?

I meant Does not dose!

Oh, well in that case ...
Come over here, lie back, close your eyes and think of England ... er ... um ... no this isn't a "private consultation" now is it. So ... um ... why don't we start by you telling me why you think your addicted.

Is the fact that I was able to reply to your post within two minutes, despite being at work an clue?

Ah yes. *Taps teeth with a pen in that annoying way* Hmmm. I think we should start with a small test. Try waiting at least half an hour before replying to any post. If you fail, inform the nurse, who will administer a lash with this cat o' nine tails for every minute early you are. Oh, and don't start until I have the camera set-up will you, I can make a fortune selling this sort of stuff to the right audience.

My, you are a stubborn case.
NURSE, the A frame, the cat and my comfortable slippers!
Oh, while I'm waiting, any more of those Custard Creams? And I'd kill for a cup of tea.

*brings the "good" a cup of some and another packet of custard creams*

For heaven's sake, don't cure 'em, or we'll be out of a job

*waves over-enthusiastically at the inmates... er... visitors*Hope you're all enjoying the facilities.

*helps herself to another as no-one else seems to be drinking it*

* Waves at Pegasus *

Is there room to swing a


in here?

Is it me, or is the dodgy enjoying all this a little too much?

Is there some sort of clinic we can recommend him to?

Drinks some as it's going

...would I need treatment for that, too?
Hey, evil Doctor... since you want to cure us all, you have to be online a lot, right? Isn't there a risk you'll contract the addiction too (for the good of your patients, of course)?

Does that imply that he'd have to lie back and think of Scotland?

only if he wants to.
(Is it just me, or does anyone else think the 'laugh' smiley looks like a vampire?)

What with the mouth being the nose, and the arms being teeth and a smile?
Yes I can see that. But then the and smileys are pretty good too!

I really ought to get some As I have to leave for work in less than seven hours!

Sorry Munchkin, this half hour thing doesn't seem to be working very well!

Toccata, off to her bed......

Hmm, does this mean there's a quantative smiley bias towards vampires?
(I see now- it's meant to look more like Humpty Dumpty.)
Evil Doctor- can I borrow your cat?

You mean you want me to cure them as well?! I'm not a miracle worker you know.
Very nice tea this, and I think I shall ignore the question of myself becoming addicted. Not only am I fully qualified to say that I am not, I am also about to go away on holiday for two weeks, to prove it. So nyah!
I wonder where that Nurse has got to with the equipment? You can get the cat after Toccata, we have to learn to play nicely and share now children.

Waah!

Well if I'm going to be accused of being childish.....

Mandragora Munchkin

Yip yip yip!
(runs away and hides- I take tickling very personally.)
I quite like being childish, it means people give you sweets.

Oooo, didn't know I could do hypnotic regression. Now then, lets see, what happens if I take this bag of jelly babies and wave it about in front of their faces, without letting them get one?