h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's this about the Marie Celeste being an insurance scam?

Ooops. Forgot to reply.

I cannot remember the details but apparently the master of the Marie Celest and the master of the ship which found her, or which was nearest to her at the time, met up on shore (in the Texas Book Depository, or maybe in the White Fiat car) shortly before they left port.

There was definitely a whiff of collusion about it, the plan presumably being to lose the ship and rescue the people, but which actually worked out the other way round.

I really wish I could remember it in more detail, but I have vague memories of two guys in black suits and black sunglasses, and this bright red light, and then nothing more.

Less flippantly, an insurance scam is one of the theories, and one which sounds plausible when the facts supporting it are presented in a BBC2 documentary at 9.25 on a Thursday evening, but alas, I cannot remember the details.

Sorry not to be more specific, it annoyed me I couldn't find a site to refer to at the time.

Ben

Oh.

The reason I asked was that I read another explanation that also seemed to make a lot of sense.

The key is knowing two things:

1. The cargo contained crude alcohol in wood casks.
2. The crew and captain had never transported this cargo before.

Now they passed through the Azores, essentially, quite hot but also can be stormy. The alcohol gets warm and begins to expand and makes these horrible creaking and groaning noises. Eventually one or more of the casks pops its lid (confirmed by the crew who rescued her). What results is alcohol vapour in the air, which cannot escape from below decks.

The captain and first mate investigate the noises. It is known that the first mate smoked a pipe, it was found.

You guessed it, he lits up and ignites the vapour. Now no damage is done and no fire started, but it startles them both. Don't forget, the captain was travelling with his family and may have worried about their safety.

There was a lifeboat on board, missing when she was found. So the captain decides to launch all the crew, his family and himself in it, secured on a safety line to the ship and see if anything happens, just to be safe.

The line snaps, the ships sails off and in those waters the boat would quickly be over turned and sunk.


Interestingly, the tale of the Marie Celeste is confused with the Mary Celeste, which was a fictional story written by Arthur Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes author). It is from him that we get the ideas of the still warm and uneaten breakfast, boiling kettle and intact life boat.



There are other real ships like the Marie Celeste. Riggers that sail for years in arctic waters after abandoned by their crews and interestingly enough, I remember watching a documentary about a wreck hunter and diver. He has found more wrecks than anyone else, but the scary thing (in terms of piracy) is that many of the ships (including the remains of a super-tanker where her name and port were clearly visible) cannot be found to have existed. There is no registration for them.

You are right, your explanation makes more sense than mine, mind you mine might make more sense if I could remember it all?

Interesting and wierd stuff about the abandoned ships...

As I said, it was a throw away remark used rather irresponsibly to make a point. I am serious about the wierdness of mayo, though!

Ben

Hiya Ben!

I, too, think you've got a fine piece of reasoning here.

The only question that remained (for me) became obvious when I mentally went through the activities for making mayo.

If mayo is so unlikely a substance to be created by a very bored or highly pressured chef, where or when would its invention have made sense?

Why would the arduous process make any more sense in the present or future than in the past?

I should think that with the suspicion of eggs, in things related to health and disease, any such use of raw eggs from this point forward would be even more unlikely than in the past.

I always thought that mayo was most likely invented by an artist.

Painters discovered the use of egg whites in creating media, used oils to create emulsions, and probably would resort to vinegar to clean brushes when better cleaners were unavailable.

With all the swishing about, and repeated dunkings and cleanings, that a brush takes in an afternoon's painting, perhaps the result simply dripped onto a bit of bread or meat on a starving artist's plate!

Waste not, want not.

I tried to find out about the history of emulsions, and the history of paint in particular, because I agree with you. I think that we probably need to look at the history of paint to find the history of mayo.

When I originally wrote the piece I truly could not think of a flaw in the reasoning. I simply could not imagine anyone sitting down and creating mayo from scratch. I have no problem with the concept of time-travel and though it was written with humour, it was a serious piece, meant seriously.

As I researched I came to the same conclusion that you have come to. That the most likely route to mayo was paint.

Thanks for reading the piece, and thanks for commenting.

Ben

Ben, Ben, Ben,

I'm crushed! I was hoping that you had an out for us. It's still a bizarre enough concoction that its appearance could have meaning.

Perhaps we have looked at it all wrong? The production of mayo is certainly not intuitive, and you were correct that it was not an evolutionary step from some other culinary product.

Perhaps, given time travel, Occam's Razor gives us a clue? Perhaps the simplest answer is that concoction that we have come to refer to as mayonaisse is the result of a complex computer program that could predict the final product and then reverse engineer the solution as to its production. This would probably take the form of a more complex version of the Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser.

Imagine some future person, low in weight and cholesterol, needing additional acids in their stomache and roughage in their diet, goes up to a 'Lithe & Portly Lunchomatic Salad Maker' that scans their anatomy, etc., etc., and invariably delivers a salad topped with a substance that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Italian Dressing?

Trying, desperately, to keep the dream alive.

It still fascinates me that it is ok to discuse time travel in the context of quantum physics, but not in the context of cooking. The entry was as much a poke at that illogicality as it was a poke at anything else.

Have a read of the Peer Review conversation? It's a treat. Actually there seem to be two of them: F90488?thread=184893 where it was picked and rejected and then F90488?thread=192514 where I eventually gave up to a force majeure.

A stirrer? Moi?

Ben

Hi, again.

Just thought to let you know that I posted edited versions of my defense at the two threads you mentioned. Sorry that I missed all the original commotion. The threads were quite interesting and entertaining.

See you on the other threads.