h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!!! QUAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

*turns madly in all directions in search of a rival, and then focuses on the robot. As she fixes on him, eyes blazing, he slowly melts into a small puddle of custard. Don't ask me how I did that, but that's what I did*

Yeah! Who's next? *waves fist up at the ships* You guys up on the Drago, you wanna come down here and show me what you've got? Huh? Huh?!




I'm waiting...

*Miraculously, the small pile of custard morphs back into the shape of the robot, although he does appear to be a bit more yellow in coloration*

Robot-You will have to do better than that, Yael....IF THAT REALLY IS YOUR NAME, PENNYWHISTLE! Dealings with binary blasters have left us well prepared for that type of playing. So, are you all afraid to result to a slugfest, or do you have any more "amazing" powers to display?

hmph, this morphing thing is rather amusing...

*turns the robot to custard a couple more times, just to see him materialize again*

And the army of snails will be here any minute!
*checks watch*
Well, they _should_ be here any minute...

*waits*



*waits*



*keeps waiting, but in the mean while turns the robot to custard some more times, just for the hell of it*

*massive cow comes from the heavens and crushes the robot*


[In the MotMV Base]
little squeaky blonde lieutenant- We've got as few more of the Mac ships coming, the rest turned to attack the STUMPED again.

wonko- well... SHOOT EM!

lib Lieutenant- right away sir!

wonko- DON'T 'SIR' ME!!

Lieutenant Lib- whatever jerk.

wonko- right. and call the killer cow.

[outside]
*the cow on top of the robot is rolling around and moaning*

Commander Thwack- We got 'em! move, move, move! to the hangar!
*his troops all march over to a hangar, wave to a passing army of snails, and enter. a few moments later several hundred well shielded, well armored, well armed Xidia A-Class Starfighters come zooming out and attack the STUMPED fleet, with one or 2 larger command ships*

Well, the slugs don't seem to be coming (see the reference I made here to your ridiculous comment? Ah, sometimes I amaze myself! But where was I? oh, yes: since the slugs don't seem to be coming), and I'm getting rather bored at the moment...

You leave me no choise but to use...


THE POWER OF KARAOKE!

*bright lights*


*huge speakers*


*music starts playing*


I can't get no sa-tis-fac-tion!
I can't get no dum-dum-dum-dum
But I try (tum-tum) and I try (tum-tum) and I try (tum-tum) and I tryyyy!
I can't get no hey hey hey...

yeeeeeeeeeeek!

*considers running away then doesnt*

Ah the foure horseman, well i know how to deal with at least one of them

*calls Mrs War*

Hello? Hello, yes i know, yes i have but.............no, he's here, he's riding out again........yes..............YES forgoodness sake i know you told him.............no hang on

*chucks phone to war who pales then goes running off*

excellant............

*the snail army arrives, after waving to Commander Thwack's Troops*

[Space]
*unrebooted macintosh rebel fighters are shot down by a ridiculously huge gun*

*Commander Thwack's squadron leaves the atmosphere and attacks the STUMPED fleet, each fighter as powerful as 3 or 4 of the STUMPED fighters, and intent on reaching the Draco*

*one of the command ships launches a small object into orbit around the Draco and calls the other ships to move away from the Draoco and deal with the rest of the fleet*

Chameleon-Teleport that thing to the middle of that Macintosh fleet. Don't return fire, it just encourages them. Meanwhile, was the robot succesful?

Gecko Warrior-Aye, sir.

Chameleon-How long is the report?

Gecko Warrior-Roughly three hundred pages long, sir.

Chameleon-Summarize.

Gecko Warrior-The robot, due to several transmogrifications into custard, was able to ascertain the source of roughly eighty-seven percent of their powers and abilities, and was able to gauge precisely how strong each attacker is. We don't have any word on their physical fighting, but it's clear that they are either unable or unwilling to fight hand to hand, instead relying on other villains and tired vaudevillesque routines to do the work for them.

Chameleon-Much like HappyDude?

Gecko Warrior-In some ways, but more closely the methods of Zeb The Angry Shrew Puppet. One might also do well to note various tactics employed by the super hero agency CHOPPERS.

Chameleon-Yes, those heroes at CHOPPERS never did follow the law....rough estimate, what're their biggest problems?

Gecko Warrior-Um,....well, most attacks demonstrate a complete disregard for traditional turn-based combat, and there was even some spontaneous power and weapon creation occurring.

Chameleon-Any hope here for 'em?

Gecko Warrior-Some. Most of them allow time to pass between when they call other henchpeople and the time when said henchpeople arrive to commit their crimes. Also, some seem to be willing to let others respond to their attacks instead of just saying what happens when the attack hits.

Chameleon-Really?

Gecko Warrior-Yes. In short, incidents such as the EMP blast demonstrate extreme potential, whereas incidents such as the pudding indicate a willingness to learn, but work to do.

Chameleon-Indeed. Well, then. The robot was succesful in its data gathering mission! We've got all that we need for now.

*Every single one of the STUMPED space-ships vanish, along with the robot and the three horsemen of the apocalypse. Agent Chameleon's hologram "reappears"*

Chameleon Hologram-It is the opinion of this board that you may, at some point, be a worthy adversary. Thanks to the effort of the robot, we have collected everything that we'll need to know about you for a good few months. Whoever said that espionage couldn't be so obvious? I can't believe you fell for the "attack me!" ploy. Oldest set up in the book....

*The hologram "disappears"*

But they got some incorrect info, at least.

It's been real, dudes, but I'm gonna be offline a lot over the next week, so I can't play for a while yet. NYC and Kudos should be around here somewhere, though.

Later!

<applause.


that's better.

Well, ya can't expect me to just leave that fleet up there, can ya? The way people play around here, there wouldn't be a fleet left when I got back. Gotta be active in this forum.

Zeb the angry shrew puppet not liking physical attacks? I remember him beating Happydude senseless with the butt end of a sniper rifle, under artillery fire from NYC! And that bite - OOooh, the bite!

I think that you had some basic flaw in the programme, which was considering us as a super-villain organization. I mean, I don't know what's the official definition we give ourselves at MotMV, but the way I see it we're more like an organization of the mad scientists. Or rather, those who would have been mad scientists if they only had some sense of coordination and the ability to concentrate on something for more than- ooh, look at that!
Where was I? Never mind... anyway, that's just my , and other MotMV members might disagree, but that was the reason I got here - for the sheer insanity of the whole thing.



And now, Karaoke Attack, phase two - disco:

You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen!!!

*vaguely throws a snowball at NYC student just to see what would happen*

very good

i'm only good at squaresoft and other Ps/ps2 rpgs myself
pretty easy going stuff

we just got a GBA and FF tacitcs, its addictive!