h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Smoke em' if ya' got em'.

*bites into an uncertainty donut, savoring the difference between doubt and missing information*

*watch buzzes*
Oh W*** calls. Back in a bit.
*frizzes out*

*Taking another bite of maybe not maybe jam flavour ...*
One can always rely on uncertainty, can't one?

I find missing information slightly more flavorable than doubt.*Orders another Cuban coffee.* A little too sweet * searches feverishly for the glucose adjustment knob.

*jingle-linga-ling*

Evening (your appropriate time sensitive salutation here), all.

*notices new entity fiddling w/IIEM*

Uhhmm..I don't know if that's a good idea there, sport. Strange things seem to happen around here when anybody other than staff or the CLI guys mess with that. Very strange.

IIEM, large iced tea, please.

BTW, pleasedtameetcha.

*reaches around Val, retrieves tea, and moves over to red velvet couch making sure not to sit in Loony's spot**settles in*

ahhh... Life is good.

Sorry, but this glucose/fructose/lactose nozzle is out of control.*nozzle squirts feverishly, spewing everywhere* Sorry.............Sorry.........You're right, I probably shouldn't be messing with this thing......... but I just can't shut it off.* one hand on the nozzle, the other reaching for loose napkins, trying to soak up the mess* I'll never mess with it again....just please, somebody help me shut it off....

Uncertainly anticipating a possible ourtcome, Kes grabs his cup and hides under a table, as sticky liquid sprays around.*

Help...........................................................................................................

*Lil flicks off switch on IIEM then heads rapidly for back porch as the cleaning bot emerges from the broom closet*

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG.
NNNNNN NNNNNNNNNN.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGG.

ZZT.

*the bot rapidly mops up the spill, sucking up excess liquid, then abruptly reaches out with overhead retractable tongs, picks up Valis and drops him through opening in top of bot*

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*Kes tries extremely hard to look like a piece of furniture that does not need cleaning.*

*bemused look on face*

Thanks, Lil. Sure hope he's got clothes on when the bot gets thru with him.

*starts to clean a bit of something from trouser leg and then realizes cleaning bot is still in room and rolls pant leg up instead*

One up, one down. Working on a fashion statement here.
*to bot* Nothing to clean over here, thank you very much.

*looks about furtively triing to decide which egress he has best chance of beating bot to if bot decides more cleaning is needed-very apprehensive look on face*

Get...get...get me out of here. I'm looking for an efficiency, but this is ridiculous...Look here..... what's this?..... My shoes....dammit, I've been looking all over for these.

*decides Kes has right idea and stands up, tugs arms into shirt sleeves, strikes a pose*

*mumbling* Oh, man. I really hope this works.

*the bot appears to meditate for a moment, then comes back to life*

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
SPANG.

*A side door opens allowing Valis to tumble out the side*

NNNNNNNNG. NNNNNNNNNG.

*a smaller side door opens and deposits Valis's clothes next to him, neatly cleaned, pressed and folded*
*the bot then closes doors, retracts appurtenances, returns to broom closet and slams door*

Now you know why I'm out on the porch!

My clothes! *looks down* My unclothed body! *grabs attire and jets, displaying much embarasment*

Dang.


That's the third time that's happened. That bot is getting insolent.

*comes back in off porch and begins restoring settings on IIEM*

*triing to speak without moving tooo much*

I knew why you bolted, I just didn't realize anything had gotten on me. Is that an ortoscopic lens at the bottom of the closed door, or am I going to have to change my name to "jr-also hopelessly parinoid"?

*pose becoming difficult to maintain and is starting to tremble a bit*

Val? Are you OK?

*more trembling*

*briefly pokes his head back in nervously* Man I'm goin to get a drink. Something hard. Very hard..