h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to the Aroma Cafe. We serve tea, coffee, other specialty drinks, and we have an orangutang who is unbeaten at Scrabble.

Please join us.

I still think a fish would be helpful...though I must say it sounds as though your experience in the park is one I'm glad I wasn't around to share. Your ex sounds like a w****r.

*saunters in casually*
Well, it looks like Jack won this one!
How you doing Jack?

Our newest cafe customer wins the Forum dash without even breaking a sweat or stopping the conversation! What style!

WINNER! WINNER!

*prepares Jack a first-to-the-forum special*

I'll explain to you now, a little bit about how the cafe operates. We are open 24/7 and you'll usually find someone here, but not always staffed. For that reason we have this elegant machine here, the IIEM (Infinite Improbability Espresso Machine) which serves all beverages upon verbal request. The blue orangutang sitting at the public internet access terminal on the porch is Ook -- he's always up for a game of scrabble. The bird up there on the rafter is Pierrot, a genuine pirate's parrot. You'll meet the others as they

STRAGGLE

in...

I...fine? Still not sure if I'm here or not. Suspiciously like being drunk.

I'd like to thank all the little people that helped me get here and of course I owe it all to God without whom I would get into very few arguments.

LOL

Listen gentlemen, I need to step out and deal with real life for a bit.

The IIEM is now on autopilot.
See you later Redbeard, and Jack, I hope you come back. See y'all.

Early in the last thread someone asked how the IIEM works. Actually, it steals the coffee drinks that I make in the future specifically for that purpose, and that way nobody looses coffee and I can make all the drinks at my lesiure (I'm spending most of my summer vacation making the drinks that have been ordered since I installed the IIEM). For non-food/beveradge items-- well you've got me there. I think Ook just sprung into being in place of something else, much like the missles that turned into a flowerpot and a whale in HitchHiker.

~Irving

I thank you for your hospitality and promise to reveal the sacred location only to those I deem worth of the honor.

Good to have you around, Jack. Don't worry, it'll all make some kind of sense eventually.

IIEM Redbeard's Brew, please. *IIEM produces coffee*
*walks back to table*

One thing, Jack... you might want to think about putting something on your home page. Click on the edit page button on the left when you're there and type in anything. Once you've done that, other people can visit you at your page.

If you need some quick links that might be useful, try this http://www.h2g2.com/A344756 and if you'd like to find out about the Law of Continuity that keeps forums like this one running smoothly, check out http://www.h2g2.com/A351866 If you want to visit any of the regulars here, simply click on their name at the top of their post.

*sips coffee*
Did that make any sense, or have I been drinking too much caffeine?

By the way, nice to meet you, Jack. I'm Irving Washington, but everyone calls me Irv. Perhaps you've heard Lil mention me -- I usually run the café, though at the moment I'm not here (I know, I'm talking to you, but I'm not here). While I'm not here, though, I could fix you a cup of coffee on the house.

c(~)

~Irving

I had a wood-roasted mountain-grown organic blend the other day that kicked some serious booty. Can the IIEM handle specialties?

*ox wanders in groggy and somewhat confused*

Hey! Last thing I remember I was asleep in a corner of the Cafe-Hey I am in the Cafe!

*she leaves, shaking her head at the wonder of multidimensional travel...*

I understand how this world turns, I believe. Just the momentary dizziness of reaclimation.

Sorry Irv. I guess I was supposed to repond to you and not tangle the thread as I appear to have done. Dang!

Well the IIEM can, but we also have some freshly roasted freshly ground freshly brewed coffee right here... what was that you wanted? Wood-roasted mountain-grown organic blend? It's right here next to the Majic Aroma Blend. Here you go c(~)

Oh-ah. Excellent. I'm considering submitting an article to the guide regarding this particular blend and the shop wherein I first had it.

*enters care, approaches counter*

Hi, Redbeard.

Nice to meet you, Irv, ox and Jack.

Wow, I get to meet the owner! May I have a Kona, black, please?

..........

Rats, I missed the thread race. I was gonna enter this time.

Hi, Witty!
I forget.. do you prefer 'Witty' or 'Monicker' for short? Or either?
How you doing?

This thread race came up rather suddenly. I'm sure there will be more!

Thingy. I'm not a straggler. Having to go to the bar IRL makes me not a straggler. I'm afraid thats as far as I got with the backlog.....

*tries to console herself with the fact that she actually read some of it*

Lemon tea, please.