h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Very true, Masque... thanks for the morale boost

(Redfox glances at Yar, and notices him floating... so Redfox decides to gather some energy himself. There is again a wind from his feet, but this time nothing so obvious occurs... until his eyes light on white fire, and the flames lick out to the sides, not burning his fedora, for some strange reason.)

Ah, power... how nice it feels...

or the Corral boost, as the case may be

They're getting closer. Anybody got a rifle? I think I can pick off the leader from here...

*canters back from the OK corral*

The barn is full of bags of wargfeed, and you don't want to know what the ground is covered with in the corral. I suspect the orcs are bivouacking here, and coming home as opposed to attacking us.

They probably think we're the help.

[Masque]: Which means we have the element of surprise. Now how about that rifle?

[Yar looks thoughtful. A thought cloud appears:]


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlwaysChaoticEvil

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatMeasureIsANonHuman


You know ... I ought to bring up the notion that we don't *have* to fight them. I mean, just because our species seem to be generally at odds for one reason or another doesn't mean orcs are *evil*. Sure, some orcs have done unpleasant things, but some humans have done unpleasant things, too.

[glances at Masque and Red Fox] Uh, case in point.

You know what, never mind. Might as *well* have some sort of mook-species which I can have no compunctions about killing.

I think traditionally we're supposed to climb up onto rooftops and snipe, but that may be because the falls are scripted. I like the look of that sheriff's office across the street -- it has gun ports in the shutters. And room for horses in the cells. *pats her horse's shoulder, then urges him into a trot across the street. Dismounting, she leads him into the sheriff's office*

*calling from the office* AND there's a back door. And hey, more guns!

*leads a nice and quietly well-behaved mare across the street, gently talking to it and disappears after Lil into the Sheriff's office*

[Masque]: Of course they're not / inherently/ evil. If they were, they'd work for me. They just happen to believe that humans are evil, and are pretty well set in that belief. Unless, of course, you happen to speak orcish.

[Yar considers this, plus his ability to use telepathy to translate speech.] You know ... I just *might*, at that ...

[He glances around at the Salonistas, who are apparently rather enthusiastic about attacking and killing the orcs first, rather than even trying to negotiate things peacefully.]

Although, on the other hand, any time you villains want to play the "You and I are not so different" card, this situation would be perfect material for it.

*Masque has been rummaging through the Sherrif's office, and finally finds a hunting rifle that meets his purpose.

[Masque]: I signed for an orc hunt. I'm going orc hunting. If your Righteousness doesn't want to come along, that's not my problem.

[shrugs] Eh, sure, whatever.

Play nice, guys. *peers out of a gunport in the shutters* The orcs are coming into town, and they look pretty relaxed. For orcs. If they saw us, they really did think we were slaves.

*looks thoughtful* So maybe there are other entities in town besides us.

(Redfox strongly suspects, what with the burning eyes and energy charged swords, that the Orcs will probably see him as a threat. Goody )

Heh. Who cares about the semantics? Like I always say, you can't spell slaughter with out laughter.

...

wheeeee....

(indeed, as the lead orcs come into view, they spurn their wargs into a gallop. Redfox slides his swords down the blades in an x, then separates them and takes a completely confident stance with the blades out to either side, standing relaxedly.)

*Having concealed himself in an upper storey window, Masque squeezes the trigger, and gets a clean headshot on the lead orc. Due to some amazing accoustics, it is impossible to tell where the shot came from (except for members of our party, who are all quite aware of what Masque has been planning).*

*takes out her nanogun and dials it to ANGST then aims low, at the wargs*

*the wargs slow down to an uncertain shuffle and look around worriedly*


As some will remember, this nanogun was acquired on the Elvis Presley planet, during an adventure that started with an archaeological dig led by Affy, near Roswell. Witty Moniker has one too, but I don't know whether she's ever used it*

[Yar rolls his eyes, sets his Chefinator to Medium Well, and fires it at one of the orcs.]


I think the Chefinator was actually invented by Y2K. He seems to have releassed it into the public domain following his ... disappearance.

*Masque snipes at a warg*

*fires in the generally right direction and generally misses*

(A warg charges up to Redfox. When it comes within striking distance, Redfox whips his swords up, and plunges then into the warg's open mouth. The mount just stops, and the orc flies overhead, behind Redfox. Redfox then rips the swords to either side, twin sheets of flame and lightning, as blood spatters off of them in a rather disgusting rain. The warg falls to ground in a gory mess. Redfox then begins to advance into their ranks, leaving the downed orc for Yar to deal with.)

[Yar rolls his eyes, and just shoots it.]