h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ARGH!!! That's rude. Typical. Well with me around we can be sure that this place can be clean

Hi Garibaldi
How strange that there seem to be more men then women in the ladies!
Could it be that we have the best grafitti I wonder?

*Quickly scrawls on Garibaldi's back when he isn't looking*
~Stop looking at my corporation~

*Thinks maybe that this is probably too English, but can't seem to rub it out again*
shazzPRME

*quickly scirbbles on Shazz's back in her red sharpie*
WASH ME

*Turns round and sees offending scrawl*
Oh well! I never liked this T shirt anyway
*Proceeds to remove offending garment, with slightly worried look incase any MORE men come in!*
shazzPRME

That's alright Shazz, you can borrow mine. I'll just... Uhh... wear these paper towels, here.

Boys, boys, they're good for your heart...
whoops

Did you actually write that St Ioreth... or were you just thinking out loud? LOL
Fenny... you better not get those paper towels wet... I would hate to think of the consequences!
shazzPRME

*notices the writing on his back when he passes a mirror (while checking himself out)*

Oh thanks very much Shazz.

Maybw I should go into the T-Shirt business

*smiles*
That's quite ok Garibaldi I always knew that you were a good business man !!
shazzPRME

Yeah, but not so good on the spelling and typing.

After a while you come to notice those less and less. Typoese becomes like a familiar second language. Oh for the days when glaring mistakes really glared. (not really )

'Nonnie

I think that this place needs a good clean out! No wonder we aren't using it! Irv... where have you hidden the new toilet rolls?
shazzPRME

I gots me 'n uncle whats' gots a whole buncha corncobs stacked up b'hine' th' barn, an'I'd be willin' ta' betcha he'd more'n love ta' give 'em aways! Gots white 'uns an' red 'uns!

Ya' rekon they'd fit in wit the decorums? (Theys' free, ya' knows!)

NM

*throws hands over ears*

NOOOOOO!!!!! WE'VE BEEN TRANSPORTED TO THE SOUTH!!!!

*runs to the nearest strongly reinforced wall a'la earthquake, holding on for dear life and crying quite frantically...*

Arghhhhhhh! If I understood any of what was said, I guess that I would be worried too!? Please elaborate Fenny!
shazzPRME

Marv, drunk, saunters in. Takes sharpie and writes on mirror:

Beware of limbo dancers.

Alright.......explanation.(Fenny....I can't be transported to the South, as I'm already here!!!)

In olden days, people of the South used corncobs for "TP".

You need white ones and red ones.(white ones were harder to come by)

You use the red ones 'til you think the job is well done, then use the white one to be sure.....if the job is not to your satisfaction, go back to the red ones!(that's as much detail as I think anyone here wishes for me to give! LOL)

Would anyone here enjoy a diatribe on the benefits of "outhouses"?

NM

Not really...

*falls to the ground, shaking with fear and cultural shock* MAKE HIM STOP!!! Pl-hea-hea-hease!! I can't TAKE this!! I'm gonna tell MONSY, oh yes I am!!

Why don't you just use old newspapers like the rest of us? My imagination is running overtime here, and I don't like what I am seeing!
Where is Monsy when we need her... I agree with you Fenny!
Irving... please find us some real paper soon...
shazzPRME