h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ditto

And now for something completely different... Let's write a song. Here are two lines to start your song writing career. Someone please write the next two and so on

He ain't been laid in a month of Sundays
I caught him once sniffin' my undies

He's my best freind but
He's gettin' on my nerves

Down at the pub he's a lunatic raving
He's not very bright and he's lousy at shaving.

I think it's time for a Quiet Riot
(Sponsored by Kandy Kamera)
((hehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehhehe))

Hello Everyone!

Good to hear people singing in key and coming up with such creative inspirational lyrics!

Daniel, you forgot to post your two lines for our potential world-wide No 1 smash hit

Can anyone join this two lines thing? I have two...
I'm on vaction, leaving town,
the plastic smile is coming down.

~Lute

We could win or we could lose...
Either way it's going to be a smash.

Our lyrics arn't trash
No help from hash

It's just a way to pass the time.
*breaks into song*
Say, has anybody got a dime?

I need to catch a rhyme
And I am running out of space

Hey!
Can anyone post twive in this place?

Caxtons are mechanical birds with many wings
and some are treasured for their markings -
they cause the eyes to melt
or the body to shriek without pain.
I have never seen one fly, but
sometimes they perch on the hand.

Mist is when the sky is tired of flight
and rests its soft machine on ground:
then the world is dim and bookish
like engravings under tissue paper.

Rain is when the earth is television.
It has the property of making colours darker.

Model T is a room with the lock inside -
a key is turned to free the world
for movement, so quick there is a film
to watch for anything missed.

But time is tied to the wrist
or kept in a box, ticking with impatience.

In homes, a haunted apparatus sleeps,
that snores when you pick it up.
If the ghost cries, they carry it
to their lips and soothe it to sleep
with sounds. And yet they wake it up
deliberately, by tickling with a finger.

Only the young are allowed to suffer
openly. Adults go to a punishment room
with water but nothing to eat.
They lock the door and suffer the noises
alone. No one is exempt
and everyone's pain has a different smell.

At night when all the colours die,
they hide in pairs
and read about themselves -
in colour, with their eyelids shut.

- Craig Raine *rocks*
- Readers Digest abridged version follows:
Books, Mists, Rain, Car, Watch, Clock, Phone, Toilet, Dreams.
- TWF

I have 3 eyes.
2 see perfectly ordinary inanimate objects,
The third gives me infinite vision.
It is not one eye,
But many eyes.
They search for a deeper meaning.
Together, they will find one.

THIS IS COPYWRITED.

I have three toes
They kick perfectly ordinary inanimate objects,
The third gives me pointed vision.
It is not one toe,
But many toes.
They search for a deeper meaning.
Together, they will find a cow pat to stand in

Idea STOLEN from Jinx

*sniggers*

I'll get the omnipotent editors on your tail for stealing my idea.


Incidentally, I have 3 eyes.

The wind it blows him here
The wind it blows him there
Holding firm by the toe
The eye of a tornado
A calm, quiet, place to be
Its eyes, I wish, were three

Okay, what's the greatest single line in rock lyrics?

Here's some suggestions to get the memory jogged:
"I saw a warewolf drinkin' a pina calada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect."
or
"....got a punch on the nose and it's starting to flow. Ya know I might me sinking."
or
"Don't surround yourself with yourself. Move on back to square."

What say you all?

Let's narrow it down, shall we? How about the best opening line?

"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste"

"You say you want a Revolution"

"'Good God, Don't Jump!' The boy sat on a ledge"

~Irving