h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, wait, that's not a rat... It's a weevil!!!! Though a very big one... It must be an Ancient Giant Weevil... Now everyone leave it alone and let's move on...

It's not a Space Weevil is it? I know Space Corp directives on how to cook Space Weevils!

No it's not a Space Weevil... And I don't think they should be eaten either... Poor weevils...

A weevil? Double ugh. I wish I could smite something, but this is just a costume.

*Points a finger at the weevil.* I smite thee, weevil!!!

*SIZZLE-SNAP!! The weevil disappears as though it had blundered into an electric field. Stares open mouthed at the end of her finger.*

Oh wow. I'm sorry. How did I do that?

That was not nice, Mari-rae...the giant weevil is a very rare species. I am very dissapointed.

*very happy that he is on good terms with Mari-rae*

We don't seem to be getting very far with this quest, do we?

*stares Mari-rae in disbelief*

How could you do that?!? What about its family? And friends? What will they say?? And what if it didn't have a family?? Hopefully you just didn't cause their extinction...

It only disappeared, she didn't kill it and besides if it was the last of the species they were already going to become extinct anyway.....

Very true, Linus. Nasty, nasty weevil... Good to know I'm not the only one who destroys things around here.

It wasn't a nasty weevil... *sob* It was a very nice, possibly even an alienated weevil who was zapped away just like that... *sob* And I wasn't able to save it... *sob*

Well, you've learnt a very important lesson:
sometimes weevils just get zapped, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Now stand up, knowing you are an older and wiser alien.

You're right... I have to be braver...

*gets up and is ready to go on*

Well, sorry again. I didn't do it on purpose. Should I try again with something else? Anybody want something smitten?

I've been smitten for a long time

Could you smite the darkness? It would be a lot nicer here without it...

I don't know if that would work. Darkness isn't really an object.

*The stone steps are getting damper. They end at a long corridor with heavy barred doors along either side. The doors have shuttered slits for windows. Slides back the first and looks into the cell.*

I can't see a thing, but it smells really bad.

Does a Bluto impression from Labyrinth.
"Smell bad".

Sorry everyone, sorry. That'll be me. I had curried eggs not too long ago. Err, BB, I hope you're not thinking of lighting that match....

Not ATM - even if it would create a VERY exciting flame.

I say GO FOR IT , my phriend. A "Blue Flamer" never hurt anyone.

*pulls on aesbestos suit just to be on the safe side*