h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

O give me some of that ol' Janx Spirit,
O give me some of that ol' Janx Spirit... uh, I forgot the rest of the words. Anyway, thanks! Just what the doctor ordered!

*Also takes some brownies and shares with Emma. Looks out the tunnel at the snow. It looks deep.*

So who is going to walk in front to break the trail and find the path for the elephants? Just curious.

Well, we could send 'Nonnie, if she were here....

*giggles at the thought of a mouse breaking a trail for elephants.*

Billly! Thanks for speaking up! Nice of you to volunteer.

*Billypilgrim is pushed to the front of the line and out the tunnel into a drift of snow.*

OK! Mush forth and we're all right behind you. Don't worry about your elephant. They are trained to follow along. Take a stick to feel with, so you don't fall through into a crevasse. Ha! Ha!

Hey, how did I get picked for this job...?

And why can't Futon lead the way....?



Right. Here we go, then. Luckily, I happen to have at my disposal a team of huskies on loan from Damogran (they currently aren't needed there, as the entire court is either on the Flying Castle or playing croquet. Or both.)

So, the mushers oughta be able to clear a path, and their instincts are good about danger under the snow.

So mush, then.

*dogs look at bp with some confusion and wag their tails. Apparently, they've never actually SEEN snow before.*

*Hands Billyp. a fortifying brownie.*

Try saying "Voyons!" to the dogs, or something as this is Switzerland.

Couldn't I say "Burn! Burn! Burn!" instead????
Please....??

*image of lightbulb appears over bp's head*

HeYyyyYYYyyyYYYyy!!

BB,now's your chance!! Everyone's talents come in handy every now and then, even the talents of pyromaniacs like yourself.

You could MELT us a path through the snow!!

(chuckles to self at the idea)

As Gandalf says, you can't burn snow.

Hence why BillyP said MELT. I'm sure I packed my super soker loaded with highly flammable substances. I just didn't mention it until now because of you know who . Still, here you go BB, may you melt us a good strong path.

Okay, I can do that...

I'll just have to create a HUGE fire....
No problem there

Oh my... are you sure this is a good idea?

Of course, trust me. Have I ever hurt you?

*Thinks "Not yet.", but says;* Please be very careful, Bluebottle.

I will - honest. You know me - I know fire, and how to use and control it. I am an expert, have faith.
*Strikes a match in a positively professional manner*

Hold on to your butts!!!

*BB lights a portable flamethrower, and melts the snow. All other researchers stay out of the way, admiring his professional ability*

*All except one......who had been closely inspecting a tree off to the corner, attempting to re-colour the snow*

Ouch...that hurt! Anyone got a wig I can borrow.....at least 'til my real hair grows back out!

NM

*The researchers stand in awe as the melted snow rushes down the mountain picking up debris and mud. Trees are uprooted and three picturesque villages are smashed to kindling by the flood. A very large scar is left torn out of the mountain. Everyone slowly raises their eyes to Bluebottle.*

Effective, BB, but just a tad wasteful. Or was that just a practice run?

Hey, look over there! No, not there, THERE! Just see what the melting of the snow has uncovered. It looks like a temple of some kind, cut into the rock!