h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Somewhere on a South Pacific island a creature was stirring after millenia undisturbed. The vinegaractive cloud that passed over had awoken the colossal beast. A knobbly great green beast that could breath fire arose from its slumber to wreak vengance on all those not of pickle kind.

The peace loving innocent people of Japan, a pickle shaped island nation, looked to the green glow emanating from the sea. The legends foretold of the day that ...


GHERKZILLA WOULD RETURN!!!!

Pickles... this can only mean one thing... the blood of a Vine-Gar has been spilt! For only with the killing of a Vine-Gar can pickles be made and high school science experiments carried out. And the only thing that can kill the Vine-Gar is a carbonated beverage taken from the King of Bea, so we must ban these! Save the Vine-Gars!

(Really complicated inside joke from Biology class.)

Gherkzilla laughs at your inside joke.......





Well, Gherkzilla laughs at those who laughs at your inside joke!

Bow down before the great glowing Gherkzilla or else he'll... he'll... well, he'll stomp around a bit and make quite the mess of your city...

Oh... and not to mention the stains he leaves... I mean, what is that stuff? Mustard?

There was a youing lady called Perkins
Who just simply doted on gherkins
In spite of advice
She ate so much spice
That she pickled her internal workin's.

Rise ! rise! proud pickles
Jump ye out on the street
Rise ! rise! proud pickles
inform apon thi glowing feet
Arise ! arise! meek pickles
Spread your prouse throught all the lands
Arise ! ARise! misunderstood pickles glowing there as ye stands

Piccalilli slowly slid her tendrils around Gherkin. She shyly caressed his magnificent, if somewhat showy, stiminate. Deep inside her something was stirring. A primeval urge to ensure the survival of picklekind. He was an alpha male cucumins and she his soul mate. 'Aaargh Piccalilli I love you' he ejaculated as a torrent of spores showered her pistillate. 'Did the veggiverse move for you aswell' he whispered. Or was it massive low frequency vibrations emanating from something, stirring deep within the Southern Ocean....

,bigeyes> That is almost* pornographic

Takes a modest bow...

I was amazingly impressed but here we are in the thread about pickles, for pickles and written by pickles, oh what joy p i c k l e

Speaking of pickles it's time to to the house............

Praise be the pub! Praise be the pickle! Praise be the pickle in the pub!

Gherkin looked at his reflection in the mirror. Not bad considering what he'd been through. He could see now why he'd won the prestigious Stirling award. Hmm, not bad at all and life on the hill was good. Picalilli was happy now he spent more time at home and the picklets, all 24 of them, were expanding rapidly. How time flew. It only seemed like yesterday that they were mere tendrils. Still, all those picklets needed feeding, and fertilzer didn't spread itself he thought as he picked his way caringly amongst the rows......

Traveller in Time jumping through cyberspacce
"Hey, 'Count Zero' here it goes!
______
T|
T
T(pickle)
T______|

(T is more or less the symbol for a battery)

About 6 V ? nah, make it at least above 60 V and keep your fuses big! My last experiment blew up the House Fuse (50 A)

Well it was quite a blow of ! And then dark.


Ever listen to the Radio?

< http://play.rbn.com/?url=livecon/kcrw-cp/demand/mb/mb991019Laurie_Anderson.ra >
From minute 10:30..

"

Not Real Audio files. I haven't trusted Real for years.

Traveller in Time on his head
"I managed to get it real working thanks to the Beep

Excerpt 'Speed of Darkness', an album by Laurie Anderson
15:20 'Hotel Hotdogs'
*The ingredients include two bratwursts or oscar meyers will also do. And the utensils include one lamp, a pocket knife and wire strippers.

Now here is how to make it: first you unwrap the bratwurst then you place it on the bedside table, then you unplug the floor lamp, then using the pocket knife, cut the lampcord approximately three feet from the plug. Then with the wire strippers peel the insulation from the cord, leaving about ten inches of exposed wire. Then thread the wire through the bratwurst and ty off the wire at the end.

Then just . . . plug it in. Now cook until the bratwurst is crispy on the outside, approximately two seconds, and make sure the cooking time does not exceed three seconds, becouse the meat will explode at very high temperatures. Then just relax and enjoy. Now in the US and some other territories where one ten is used, use erm stash two additional seconds to the cooking time. *

This is a rather normal part of a 'song' by Laurie Anderson

(She really made loads more then just 'Oh Superman' ) "

Que es mas macho? Bratwurst or Pickle?

For lo unto the pickle of glowing ecandescence, the leleash of constraint releaves angst of forlorn glowing embres, racked and ripples though eions of time, enter left stage, glowing pickle, enter stage left glowing pickle, glow, glow on teh stage, eternal light eternal glow eternal pickle on teh eternal stage of pickle life

Traveller in Time trying to read the diagram
"

______
T|
T
T
T______|


Some where in the process things got mixed up


##====~~----~~====##

yea and unto the diagram the pickle did glow, thriley so