h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ahh, food! Ta muchly, Monsy! Well worth the wait!! *Gwennie munches choccie n vodka fishie*

Has anyone been fiddling with those temperature controls again? My vodka's getting warm!

yes, it's those little imps. they're locals, and they love to play pranks. here's some ice for now. it's imported from Canada. very pure. i'll make sure those imps don't come back. *alicat scurries off into the crystal forest, comes right back* i almost forgot, i brought everyone mushrooms. *scurries off again* @

Mushrooms! Yummy! How DID you know I was cooking bolognaise tonight?

*Gwennie pauses to think - which is very hard work*

Oh! They're MAGIC mushrooms? Not for the family then? Oops! Oh, well! All the more for me

[waving hands] Alakazam! [blue clouds of light explode around him] Sorry.

[into comlink] Hal, open the pod bay doors.

[The pod bay doors open and a space pod falls out and lands on YK.]

*rushes over to see if YK is all right* whew, i'm glad you're ok.

Is there something strange going on here, or is it just the mushrooms or the vodka or............

Nevermind

[Zoom out from the fallen over pod, revealing that it's on a monitor in a studio. In the foreground is Leonard Nimoy.]

[Nimoy:] "We have, at last, proved that in the universe, we are not alone. We have answered the first two questions faced by people who live on planets: 'Is there live out there?' and 'If so, is it intelligent?' The answer to both questions is 'Yes.' But we have yet to fully answer the third question: 'Who came first?'"]

[cut back to YK under the space pod on YK again] The "Firstborn" in Arthur C. Clarke's 2001 books!

[cut back to Leonard Nimoy]

[Nimoy:] "And I suppose you're going to put up a page about this.

[cut back to YK. The space pod has mysteriously vanished] Yeah. Just give me a spot of time, and I'll have a page on the Firstborn.

Well i'm not convinced that there is intelligent life out there.....

I'n fact i'm not even convinced that there is intelligent life in here, although there probably was prior to us all o/ding on mushrooms, vodka and an other substances / liquids we can get our hands on

[Mewtwo looks deliriously drunk] Dosh anyone 'ave any Duff?[immediately becomes sober] But seriously, folks ...

*Floats a chocolate vodka filled fishie in her v.t. Sips and licks alternately* Let's not go seriously.

*Emerging from the forest looking distinctly happy and relaxed, though slightly dishevelled* So what is occuring? I thought I felt the earth move a little while ago!
shazzie

I don't know about that, but i did hear some very strange noises coming from the direction of the crystal forest a while back..........

*has a second look at Shazz*


My, you do look contented

ummmmm......shazz, where is TM?? didn't the two of you go in there together?? why only you coming out??
monsy

he must be *exhausted*

*smiles* just collecting provisions I'm off back there again now
shazzPRME

yes. eeeeeeeeee*eyes the forest* this is it, you guys/girls/animals... the hour is 12:00 est(i'm not sure of the time anyywhere else...GMT?) holy shit, we had enough fun here, we can stay forever!!!!! that's 4 ! for you, Tigger. everyone, please try some ice cold Canadian beer. brewed for you on Jan. 12, 2000. my God, this is it. we made it!!!!!!!!@

We did?!

*Gwennie wakes up from mushroom enhanced slumber and gazes around, bemused*

Who made what and where???? Is this something I should be aware of or will it just go away?

no, it will never go away. we all, together, transformed plain old earth into heaven, right here on Zitlurub VI.