h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh bloody hell...

This is ridiculous; why is everything going wrong at the same time?

*Sym walks into the room*

Ah. He hasn't changed.

*suddenly warps again except instead of warping himself warps a coffin to near where megachedda is*

odd chance

<<>>

You always were the Houdini, weren't you Sym.

Sym: I try. How's life been treating you, Twig?

It was going alright until I died. It's been slightly boring since then.

Sym: Dead... shame. You were always nice.

Heh. Putting on a false conscious-inhibition... I should have seen it sooner. And recognised the compound that that gun used...

Sym: But once again, you were just too late.

I guess I was.

dont worry.(termanator voice voice)il be back

<<>>

And seriously, see where I'm going with this.

How come those shots from my cybernetic friend there aren't doing any harm? Nah, I shouldn't ask... oh do tell.

Sym: I combined my soul with that of the great Quaentil.

The Quaentil? That doesn't exist.

Sym: Still going along with that atheist view?

I'll believe you for now. Can I tell this lot, they might not get what we're talking about.

Sym: Might as well... they won't last long anyways.

Alright... The Quaentil is a mythical being from Autherian history that supposedly has the same purpose as your... um... anti-christ; that's the word.

So anyways, it has almost unlimited powers... by the way, why haven't you vapourised any of us yet?

Sym: I need something.

What?

Sym: An Autherian soul; to release the true power.

But I'm dead.

Sym: But your soul still survives... remember that pasta Aximili gave you?

How'd you know about that?

Sym: (Regardless) It is still in your cabin... and it has your saliva on it.

You're going to summon the anti-christ with my spit?

Sym: That's about it, yes.

I won't allow that. *A borg transporter beam locks onto the pasta and begins to demolecularise it, feeding it into the matter stream into the Warp Core. The warp nacelles begin glowing with a great deal of power, and the warp drive begins humming loudly as the strange power source reacts in exotic ways with the anti-matter*

If I have to rip this area of subspace to shreds with a Warp field that extends through 5 dimensions, I will. I won't have you endanger this universe with your petty desire to wreak havoc.

((Beam me directly to them. I want to talk to this Sym fellow))

Anonymous crewman: Aye, Captain.

*Transporter is energised and Aximili is beamed to Sym*

*twitch twitch*