h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[[They aren't. They are there just for show, really. Our species likes to look good.]]

[[Continue down the west passageway.]]

K if you ay so *goes west then wonders how he know which way is west in outer space*

Oriental Compass Rose. "West" is to the left of whoever says it.

*Follows What's-His-Name.*

*Josh continues along the hallway like passage that is covered in pictures made of pasta of the great Pasta gods

[[Interesting... they appear to be Pastafarians..]]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastafarian

ok then I'll just forget I saw that *looks away and forgets mentioned picture that is of somthing you don't want to know about*

[[Whatever. Go east.]]

*turns east ... after going west ... but realises that he meant that special space east and keeps going it*

*follows josh
*

[[We want blue stripes; we want white; we want the red stripe but that's all right... whoa, small temporal loop there. Watch out for the Guard coming down this corridor.]]

*whisper*set phasers to stun.

*does his hiding trick and gets ready to shoot the guard*

*guard turns round the corner*

*shoots guard with phaser rifle*

is there ne way i can join back in. ive been gone so long...

Of course there is, Rastlin. If you need a summary of the story so far post on my PS so we don't clog this up. If you read back a bit you'll find that unless you state otherwise, you are on this away mission, and are free to join in. I havn't given your position away.

*Walks out from behind a pillar. Assimilation tubules fly out from his hands, and dig into the guard's head. Slight electrical impulses light up the tubules. Nuge's tubules pull free. The guard sighs, and rolls over in his sleep*

I scanned his brain. I now have a layout of the ship in my memory bank which I can upload into a tricorder. *he does so, by connecting to the one clipped to his belt. The tricorder then communicates with the other tricorders, bringing up a real-time map of the ship. The map is linked to the ships sensors*

I have every access code that the guard knows. I've also put him into a mild coma. He'll wake up in three days, unharmed. I have tapped into the ships sensors. We're now invisible to any scanner linked into the main grid, which won't help us much, as their hand scanners are individual units, as a general rule, but, as far as the aliens are concerned, we've beamed out again.

[[Smarty pants. KHAAAAAAAAN!]]

[[Again with those crazy time fluxes. Something's up.]]

*grins a little coyly*


I'm a regular Deus Ex Machina...

Unfortunately, just because they can't scan us unless they're nearby, doesn't mean they can't shoot us, or see us on camera...

[[Well; the whole thing is just a liiiitle bit pants, isn't it.]]