h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stacking all the toilet paper rolls in a big inverted pyramid and having it actually stay

Dunno if I've done this one: (when nobody's around) slurping tea, coffee or soup. Tastes nicer if you slurp!

a good burp is always a pleasure

Just can't imagine someone sticking nails into potatoes for pleasure, altho have to admit, must try it sometime

The spongy thing you push flowers into, well i see where you're coming from there, very pleasurable

If you have special orthopaedic inlays (is that what they're called in Egnlish?) made for your shoes, you have to stand with bare feet in two blocks of it.

(The English trade name for it is "Oasis")

the morning and ciggie ...

Digging dirt from under a fingernail with a toothpick.

Stamping on an empty can of drink to crunch it up.

Hitting yourself on the head with an inflated balloon.

Sticking your hand out of the window in a fast moving car.

Scraping the cream off a custard cream with your teeth.

Sniffing a wet pet.

Tying a knot in a hair from your head. (Actually that becomes an irritating obsession if you're not careful )

Putting the hoover tube on your forehead.

In the car: bibbing and waving at people you don't know to see what they do.

Moving the radio tuner from one end to the other to listen to all the weird and garbled noises.

Asking Man Utd how Man Utd did when you blatantly know that they lost .

Doing bad portraits of your work colleagues.

Playing with a piece of blu-tak and making a fingerprint impression on it.

Walking on crunchy snow.

Shutting your eyes and pushing the eyelids to watch the pretty patterns (I've been told this is very bad for eyes).

Aimlessly applying paint to a piece of wood.

Striking every match from a matchbox at once.

Cutting wires with a pair of plyers.

Sticking a pair of shoes behind a curtain to make it look like someone is hiding behind the curtain.

Making the cat chase the reflected 'blob' from your watch.

I'm with you on about 80% of those

Waking up early on a Saturday morning and knowing it's ok to just roll over and go back to sleep.

On a long car journey trying to spot a full set of hauliers lorries, that is one of each of:-

1. Eddie Stobarts
2. Prestons of Potto
3. Turners of Soham
4. Nobby's Lorries (Norbert Dentressangle)

PP

Poking a papercut until it stops hurting.

Haven't tried that one! does it work??

I don't know if it really works or if I just have a self-harming streak. Hopefully the former.

Sweeping two-inch deep water with a broom.

Wrapping yourself up in your duvet.

Whistling in the dark

RF

Morning thunder.

I know exactly what you mean. The first fart of the day can be so satisfying. Added to which is the security blanket of knowing you've not left home so it doesn't matter if you "follow-through".

Ahhhhhhhhh

this is a fascinating however worrying thread