h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the neighbouring country that was Italy, Mary and her cohorts were taking the more leisurely route to Egypt. They were, at the moment currently sat in a gondola with the gondolier singing a song which Anna was sure was Rene and Reneta's 'Save Your Love'. So sure, she wouldn't have minded skipping out on her captives and risking a luke warm death in the Venician canal.

She was very uncomfortable. Apart from the obvious cacophony that was a former British number 1, having spent so long in a car boot and having the indignity of Sreka believe she had the beginnings of Stockholm Syndrome when she had started to wink at him. This was, however, the inevitable result of being unable to scratch, her arms tied to her hips.


"-- for Roma and for me..." finished the gondolier.
Anna released a sigh of relief.
"#... What's a-matta you, hey..."

Hm.. forgot to establish that they were heading for a cruise ship.

As the Gondala bearing Mary and her band nipped beneath the last arched bridge of Venice's canals and emerged into the wide expanse of the lagoon which surrounded the sunken city.

"Wake up boys - there's our ride!" she said pointing to the far side of the dock, where all along the causeway stood some of the world's most imposing Cruise Liners.

"Ven ve built der liner in Muder Russia - dey were bigger!"

Mary couldn't resist.

"But Andre dearest, they didn't float though did they?"

"This is true."

Vandeveer scrabbled forward and peered over the brow at the marina terminal.

"How are we going to get on board one of those things?" he squeeaked.

"Oh we'll find some handy local bar, there'll be some travellers of some sort, you know they type Vandeveer - guillible, easily manipulated - We'll make friends, fetch some whiskies and then we'll play poker. By the time I'm through with them we'll either have their tickets and the shirts of their backs, or the funds to afford passage of our own."

At the back of the gondola, amid the gurgling sloshing of the water around the strong back of the craft, Anna sat grumpily, arms crossed, in the shadow cast by the Baritone.

She'd put up with trilling renditions of #"justa wun cornetto!"# and #"livin'la vida loca"# but the lastest mauling of #"down at copa copacobana"# was simply too much to bear.

"Enough already!" she said flinging her arms up in frustrated surrender.

The baritone, rested the pole in it's stand, allowing the gondala to drift for a moment bent down and lifted up his hat, that shaded his bald head.

"Or what?" said Von Trapp menacingly.

Anna just glowered. She was trapped, and she knew it.

Von Trapp detected her quadry: "You could swim for it, I suppose." he mused airly, "but.." he glanced down at the brown depths of Venices muddy channels then back at Anna with a wide smirk, "I wouldn't recommend it."

"Von Trapp!" shouted Mary down the length of the craft.

"Yes?" he said, taking hold once more of the steering pole and expertly moving the gondala into the central water-way.

"We won't make it across there on open water with that stick you're holding. The lagoon is too deep."

"Let's alight here and go find some young fools before those ships set sail."

the computer crashed and deleted my next post.

Думайте, что это полезно? Это - участок(сай&#1090, который переводит.

Мог решить несколько отверстий заговора(участк&#1072, если Vandaveer и Sreka имеют обсуждения подобно этому.

http://ets6.freetranslation.com/

Aw... h2g2 doesn't support Russian.

Nur muss es auf Deutsch dann sagen.

actually that's pretty close to what my computer just did.

new post on its way just as soon as I can get through re-typing it.

actually that's pretty close to what my computer just did.

new post on its way just as soon as I can get through re-typing it.

insert key. Is anything going to go right today?

It's

Well, is it any wonder? When's the last time you took your computer out to dinner, Clive? Or bought it something nice? These relationships need work.

Either that, or dump it for a newer model.

So, Legión, you want a copy of the ST3 rough edit?

'ner' with knobs on.

...I'm still writing... almost done though...

A few stars winked out. A flock of birds erratically changed direction mid-flight. A small circle of dark emerged against the night sky. It grew larger as it descended in erratic jumps.

It hovered, uncertain, overhead and then dropped the last few feet with a clatter onto the roof of the administration building.

"I think this is it," said Arthur hopping down off the lip of the contraption onto the tarmac surface.

"Wait here" he instructed and lowered himself down onto his knees and carefully manoeuvred over the lip of the building, gripping onto the edge with his fingertips he dropped the last few inches and landed on the cobbled floor in the courtyard.

He pinched his eyes closed and counted backwards from 20, allowing his pupils to dilate. It wasn't much, but Arthur believed in tactical advantage and he wanted to have the drop on anyone lurking in the dark. Opening his eyes, he scanned his surroundings. Ahead was a high wall that bordered the next yard and was creeped with thick vines. To his right he could see down to the river, the illuminated reflection of Paris undulated and rippled.
To his left he saw an unnecessarily large heavy-set metal security gate and an abandoned security station. He walked underneath a smashed lamplight and over to door. Arthur laid his hand on the cold steel.
On the other side of the gate, he could hear the guttural moans of the brainwashed Parisians. He thought back to what the curator had said....'Rasputin'.
The name hovered into memory and Arthur wondered for the first time since leaving London whether Guy and the others were okay.

He turned around to survey the imposing shape of the warehouse that loomed high above him.

In the distance, he could just make out the shapes of Sfret and X pushing the Helio-copter under the awnings of the Massive warehouse.

Satisfied that there were no zombies or...other problems to be inside the compound, he headed back to join them.

He got down just as Sfret clambered down and X descended with unusual grace.

"We put it underneath the overhang," said X.

"Well that should keep it safe from the worst of the weather or the attentions of the local citizenry. That door looks solid enough; I think we're safe in here."

"Are sure this is it?" said X.

"Well it’s got ‘Cheese Shipping’ stencilled on the roof. I saw that as we swung over the river."

"It's no much to go on," said X.

"That, and there's a limo parked out in the loading bay. I bet it has Agency plates. If I'm right, that's Boutros's limo and this is the Warehouse where Leicester lured Boutros to kidnap him."

"I remember Guy debriefing him before the operation to replace his head*." said X

"Yes, we'd just returned with Jill and...Tim...from Siberia." Arthur winced at the memory. Tim the Double Agent.

"Maybe we can rescue some supplies from the limo and then, somewhere around here is Leicester's monorail - if we are going to save Anna and…er stop Sreka and the others it's the best way we've got of getting to Egypt.

They skulked through the shadows of the loading cranes that dotted the quayside and walked up to the limousine.

Sfret seemed eager.

"Hold on," cautioned Arthur and held Sfret back.

He touched a small button on his watch, the headlights flashed once, and something went 'bleep'.

"That's the outer defence grid deactivated," said Arthur "its safe now"

"We still don't have a key however," complained X.

Sfret swiftly moved to the front door and began pressing his fingers into the lock and muttering to himself

"I don't think that will prove to be a major impediment" "hmm mmhhm...one moment please." He drummed his fingers on the door panel, and then appeared to reach a decision.

Arthur and X waited in mute anticipation, dispersed moments later when Sfret picked up a broken brick and lobbed it through the windscreen.

Sfret clearly caught Arthur’s look of astonishment.

"Very thorough locks you have," he added in a conciliatory note.

X was busy scanning the dock - the breaking glass had thus far failed to bring the rampaging horde of zombies, but he remained permanently on edge.

Sfret clambered up onto the bonnet, reached over the dash, and popped the boot open.

Arthur and X walked around the back of the car, they peered inside.

Sfret joined them a few moments later. "Anything?" he asked.

"An agency radio, it's all tuned in," said Arthur. He switched it on and the little LED lit up, - "and it works." he held it up to his mouth.

"Wimbledon, this is Strawberries and Cream. Over."

Static.

"Wimbledon, this is Strawberries and Cream. Over."

"Nothing" said Arthur. We'll keep it though. Might come in useful later."

"Come on let's go inside - that monorail is here somewhere, I know it," and they set off to climb the metal stairway to the derelict office of The Red Leicester.



------------

Well outside of X's earshot, there came a sound of a door being ripped off its hinges and bodies piling through. The sound of the glass braking had been heard, and the zombies had begun to crowd the streets around the Warehouse.

They'd finally found a way in through the offices of haulage company next door.

A few of the vines began to twitch as something began to climb up the other side...




*see ST1 parts 3 to 6 A669783

((Ach, I had forgotten about the cheese warehouse, hence my line about going to the coast and on to Casablanca. Curator's speech will need to be edited. Thanks HPB, my email is wallacba @ tcd.ie ))

Actually I'll keep that in, I like the refence to Casablanca and there's no reason why the monorail should go to directly to Egypt.

I'd quite like to have The Agents need to get from Casablnca to Cairo while Mary and co are still ahead of them. I just wanted to re-introduce the underground monorail as a narative device to move the agents around rather than having them go by boat or plane. Plus I got quite a big kick out of visiting an old set, as it were, beyond the period when the story has been there before.

I looked back at ST1 and relalised Leicester never returned to the Warehouse and Boutros was rescued by Guy later so it stood to reason that in the relatively short timescale of events - Boutros car would still be there, probably hidden around the back.


I also gave Arthur the radio to call home with when we do the cross-over with the ST2 eiplogue.

Add-on:

"I'd quite like to have The Agents need to get from Casablanca to Cairo while Mary and co are still ahead of them...

... especially since its means we can get them established in Egypt with Daltmooreby and Ohio, etc., before Arthur X and Sfret get there. Perhaps more importantly, it'd be great if just as Arthur gets to Cairo we get a brief glimpse of Anna, who then 'dies' Raiders of the Lost Ark style in front of Arthur's very eyes - so to him it seems as though his perpetual lateness in having to come to Cairo via Casablanca means he looses the one thing he had hoped to retain. Somehow the fleeting glimpse and then snatched away will make her return to Arthur by the close feel more powerful - enough to convince him to call it a day.

Opinions, comments?

Well they're so obviously going by camel to Egypt anyway...

You could of course take out the scene and use it for the desperate rush to the Artic for this rocket launch sequence.

I think the trip to Cairo will delay enough if you DO get them there by camel. That would give, what, a week for Mary to solidfy her plan and Daltmooreby to find his son while the Agents are slowly catching up (Mary and co would presume the by plane/by boat trick would prevent being followed anyway so they're in no DESPERATE rush).

And quite frankly I like the idea of Reneissance flight to get them straight to Casablanca.

Clive's done this by the way: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F135755?thread=606156 And I've made a start at an ST timeline... A3751526