h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*tosses books to Yar*


*dives behind the counter and pulls out thermos flask - sips*

That was MY book. I would like it back, if you don't mind.

*The apparition mutters something on his breath. Everyone suddenly finds that gravity has been reversed -- and enhanced. Of course, this doesn't affect the apparition, but it should affect everyone and everything else.*

*...after the impending result*

Please return that book to me.

*The ninja sighs, hits the ceiling, waits for the inertia to settle a tad, and stands up while on the ceiling*

Ninja-Hey, don't lookit me. The Jedi has the book. Was this really necessary?

*One of the thugs who had been observing the mural grabbed it to try to support himself when they all fell up, ripping it off the wall, and covering three thugs with the mural. They promptyl fall out of the story*

you made me spill my

[Yar catches the books, and lands on his feet on the ceiling, apparently not the least bit concerned with the gravity-reversal, as if that was perfetly ordinary and nothing to be surprised about, happens all the time. In fact, he's much more concerned with the following bad joke.]

Hey, if I'm a Jedi, where's my lightsaber?

[holds the book out to the apparition] Here ya go. Sorry 'bout the wacky hijinks.

*Takes the book, smiling.*

Thank you very much, sir.

*He snaps his fingers and the gravity reverses. However, the rift on the floor has grown to a, quite frankly, _irresponsible_ size...*

*lands on window ledge*
you know if ya wanted to give 'em to Mt Trippy Acid Flashback Head you should of just said, no problemo here ya know...

*[through window] land inside waiting helicopter and flies off*

[Yar lands on his feet, still holding the other books which HappyDude was sent here to get.]

... Beg pardon?

*The ninja falls into the portal. And DIES. He DIES, Corrupt. The Ninja's dead. Dead as a doornail. Dead, despite the fact that he was a ninja, had spoken lines, and the lack of corpse*

*That was mean, Affy.*

*...oh, fine...*maybe* the Ninja didn't die. Emphasis on the maybe, though*

*The apparition finishes reading the book, shuts it, and turns to Yar.*

I thank you for assisting me. Here, you may have the book now.

*He hands it to Yar. Then looks at the rift. And back at Yar.*

You wouldn't mind coming with me to a little convention, would you? I think you would enjoy yourself greatly.

*He thinks for a minute.*

Though, if you do want to go, I would suggest bringing that book with you. It's exceedingly helpful.

[Yar tilts his head] Convention? What kind? [eyes the portal] Meh, I'm probably going to tear my hair out wondering what it was if I don't go. Let's go, then!

[He telekinetically sends the books into the "return" slot at the check-out desk, since he doesn't know where they go properly and wouldn't be able to split his attention that many ways if he did, and then gets ready to enter the portal.]

*The portal goes to A28651016 and I'll leave it up to Corrupt to define just where within that big mess the portal comes out*

*The apparition dives through the rift, which leads to F8597954?thread=*The apparition dives through the rift, which leads to F8597954?thread=*The apparition dives through the rift, which leads to F8597954?thread=*The apparition dives through the rift, which leads to F8597954?thread=*The apparition dives through the rift, which leads to F8597954* That description was just way, way too long for me to put in a post. So we could call it a sub-page to Affy's page.

[Yar jumps into the rift!]

*wanders back in, trips up and falls into the rift... *

*puff cough cough* of smoke.

*redfox appears at the entrance of the rather deserted library*

...

*notes enormous rift portal threatening to engulf the building. Shelves slowly tumble into it, like dominoes, as the rift slowly expands outward. It is, in fact, slowly heading toward the checkout desk *

Ah, crap.

*Wave hands in a fire spell-form. The cabinet with the returns slot on it explodes out ward with a muted *BOMF*. Redfox jumps the counter and digs thru the return basket. He finds the three books, just as the portal expands underneath the counter. Redofx is pulled in just as he tucks the too-big-to-go-there texts into his jacket.*

Uhwuahhhhhhhh!!!! to F8597954