h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*takes deep breath* I hate:

People who tailgate you for doing 30mph in a 30mph zone. Look, sitting up my a*** is NOT going to make me drive any faster. Deal with it!

People who overtake in stupid places (on an uphill road/blind bend/ busy main road). Just because you want to kill yourself trying to get somewhere 30 seconds early, doesn't mean you have to try and take me out as well.

People who NEVER look before pulling out of junctions (often while not indicating) and then have the temerity to give you a dirty look for blasting the horn and giving vigorous hand signals.

People who do the above and then pootle along. If you're going to pull out without looking, at least hurry up out of my way!!

Max-Power boys in souped up Escorts and Novas with BOOM BOOM BOOM always blasting out of their stereos. If you'd saved all the money you spent on crap body kits, daft paint jobs and stereo equipment, you could buy yourself a proper car. And it might be a bit faster as the larger engine wouldn't struggle to supply the power to the sub AND drive the car at the same time.

Ahhhhhh......I feel so much better now.

Thank you!

Oh, and the three lads on pushbikes who I've encountered for the last three evenings on the way home. They weave across traffic without looking or signalling, ride two and even three abreast, and then went through a red light at the roadworks!

You're going to get yourselves killed, you (censored) idiots!!

People who leave it till the last minute to take notice of a lane closure sign on the motorway, drive right to the end and then barge in expecting everyone to get out of their way. Tw*ts.

Oh, and ANY BMW driver. They're invariably aggressive morons.

Peugeots seem to be the new vehicle of choice for the intellectually challenged these days....

I thought it was the Octavia RS. Well, it is around Nottingham: half are driven by coppers who need them to catch the other half which are driven by morons.

FM (Fabia driver, as it happens)

Saabs

I've seen occasional BMWs driven politely and considerately...never seen a saab doing similar.

Recently been on holiday in Cornwall and it's Hyundai (sp?) drivers that are completely brainless and moronic down there. Fume!

My boyfriend is considering buying a BMW as part of a one-man crusade to improve their drivers' image! LOL

BMW and Mercedes drivers seem to be the worst, although Saab 9-5 drivers tend to be bad too.

Actually, Jaguar drivers seem to be taking over as the "new" BMWs - very arrogant people, particularly if it's an XJ or S-Type.

One good apple doesn't make a barrel of maggots any more palatable....

People who drive all the way down the middle lane of the motorway doing 60mph.

A*seholes in BMWs who come screaming up behind you and then brake sharply instead of just slowing down gradually like any normal people.

B

My brother had a theory that Subaru drivers are the worst, but you don't see a lot of those around.

F***wits who drive at 40mph on a national speed limit road FOR NO REASON!!!!! Particularly when it is a clear, dry day, and they have a faster car than me.

Agree with the BMW/Merc/Taxi driver thing. Audi drivers are getting there,though.

Innits in hot hatches with ironing boards on the back. It is a shopping car. It will always be a shopping car. It may be fast off the lights, but your poxy 1.2 engine bottoms out at 65mph.

Leeds drivers. Last time I went to Leeds, they had this curious habit of driving away from the lights/roundabout at 2mph. As if only one car was allowed at a time. This is something also curious to Ford Focus drivers. Leeds drivers also think permanent full beam is the thing to do.

On a similar note f***wits who drive through the 40mph zones of the new forest at 50, 60 and even 70 mph. The reason you drive over that cattle grid is because horses, deer and cows are all roaming freely in this area...possibly just around that corner you're approaching at 65mph while changing your cd and fiddling with the sunroof.

The people who drive at 60mph in the middle lane of the motorway - who then *stay* in the fast lane when the motorway ends and it goes down to 2 lanes...

and caravans

and tourists who block my drive home every friday night during the summer

People who drive with mobiles then nearly run me over (while I'm on a bike), then protest that they really are concentrating asI recover form a near death experience.

Bus drivers who ignore red lights

Cyclists who ignore all forms of traffic control

People in Rusholme, Manchester driving Hondas with body kits and blacked out windows, crsuing about, cutting people up, car is probably insured under a uncle's name

Woman in Rusholme, Manchester who's hubands know they can't drive well so bought them Mercedes so they can confiantly pull out at blind juntions, out of parking places and various other extreame manouvers without thinking becasue they know no matter what they hit be it cylcist, mother with pram, another car or a double decker bus, they'll come off better (and hubby is paying the insurance)

All people who drive without insurance

People who drive with foglights at night, especially with 10 rally hi-intensity fog lights and headlights, spotlights etc.

Motorists who, on tight country lanes, pull right up behind me on my bike. I'm going as fast as I can and I don't like being the slowest thing on the road either so what's the point in getting so close I genuinely fear for my safety

Yeah? Think about this: what if we all queued, single file for a lane restriction 1 mile on? Result? 1 mile queue, maybe way past the previous junction. Now, what if we queued two or three abreast? Result? A queue two or three times shorter. Now who's the twit?

That was what tw*t stood for, wasn't it?

Biggest gripe: people who complain when they hog the outside lane at sixty and I go past them on the inside, in a totally empty lane.

A BMW engineer once told me that the orange lights at the corners of the vehicle were diagnostic lights used by engineers in the factory and when the car is serviced. They have no function when the vehicle is in use on the road.

Looks like this practice has now spread to Mercedes and Saab.

"Think about this: what if we all queued, single file for a lane restriction 1 mile on? Result? 1 mile queue, maybe way past the previous junction. Now, what if we queued two or three abreast? Result? A queue two or three times shorter."

No, the queue may be shorter in length, but it also moves slower. If people would get over themselves and just get out of the lane that's closing, then people wouldn't have to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting the people forcing their way into the still-open lane. If people would just get out of the closing lane when they see it's closing, instead of waiting for the last minute, the flow of traffic would be so much smoother.

Keep in mind that this is the cause of most of the traffic around here (Texas), so I'm rather bitter about it. If those and "rubber-necking" was eliminated, then there would be so little traffic, and I just don't understand why people insist on doing such silly things.