h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay... I've replied to your e-mail...


I've been watching Red Dwarf since I was about........ 10 I think... I'm 19 now... I'm not sure how old I was...



I'll go and fill out this form... if I can find it, lol...


If not... can you just post up the link number??...


Thanks...



Serj

Yep... dont it a little while ago thanks...


If you want to check it out, lol...



Serj

I think Private Brown-noser is more appropriate, lol...


Umm... I've reached A-Deck quarters but...

Do I click on "Discuss This Entry" or do I enter one of the crew members quarters??...



Serj

Okay...



I'll go do that now... sir... lol...


No need for your ! at the end of everything hurts my feelings... pmp...




Serj

... !... ... lol...



Ah... Evanescense... nice...



Serj

*Meanwhile, the bazookoid energy bolts continue to buzz around the Cargo Bay, looking for a HOT target*

Well you know I'm just HOT HOT HOT!... lol...


I've made up my bed in A-Deck... would you like to come have a looksie...


Serj

*while the bazookoid bolts float around looking for a target, ignoring the Mr. Tankian who almost embodies Thamian, Rimmer II sneaks off to the hangar...*

*the polymorph in space floats from the Bridge and moves past the Cargo bay... It turns into a small shuttle thing and heads into the cargo bay...*

*The cargo bay doors close and the 'Morph changes into a human figure holding a tennis raquet...*


*the two bazookoid shots zoom toward the morph and it says in its Greg Ruzetski form...*

FU--- [SPLAT!!!!!]

*the body of morph explodes and the Dwarf is once again left peaceful (snigger) but very dirty...*

*runs in*

Holly! Block the launch pad to everyone, especially HIM...

/Yes Arnold...

*heads back*

*wanders in*


Hmm


*looks at signs on walls*

Aha, BnQ this way.


*wanders over*


Now, we have purple paint, blue paint, green, yellow, red... every colour! Maybe we could do a mural - oh and look, glitter paint! *rubs hands together in mock Llewyen Bowen style*
And ohhhhh look, a Laura Ashley section! Nice curtains, rugs, throws... oh we'll be having a LOVELY bridge. And maybe I'll do my room too...

*finds large nearby motortrolley and drives everything towards the bridge*

*wanders in*


Hmm


*looks at signs on walls*

Aha, BnQ this way.


*wanders over*


Now, we have purple paint, blue paint, green, yellow, red... every colour! Maybe we could do a mural - oh and look, glitter paint! *rubs hands together in mock Llewyen Bowen style*
And ohhhhh look, a Laura Ashley section! Nice curtains, rugs, throws... oh we'll be having a LOVELY bridge. And maybe I'll do my room too...

*finds large nearby motortrolley and drives everything towards the bridge*

*Collects paint sprayer, economy size drum of grey paint, masking tape and masking paper*

*Loads items in trailer and heads for cabin*

I'll go in i don't mind space monsters but just keep the talkie toaster away from me!

*Runs into the cargo bay trying to find an empty container to hide in*
We're doomed, and it's all Thamians and Listers fault! And everybody elses too!
*runs up a catwalk, when a rumbling, caused by Thamian annoying the curry monster, causes a huge consol wrapped in bubble-wrap to fall down centimetres in front of him*
Phew...
*then the catwalk gives away under the weight of the console, Rimmer falls down several floors and lands on the hard floor, he tries to get up but the 300 kilo console and remains of the catwalk falls down on him, Rimmer flickers and tries to shout*
He- Help...
*the light-bee shuts down and Rimmers image disappears*