A Conversation for What's your name?
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Dec 10, 2003
There is absolutely no way I'm going to violate my probation. It just doesn't seem worth it to take any chances. I went to my eval today (yesterday? my time gets weird working at night) and all I have to do is attend one group session and one 12 step a week for 12 weeks. Easy enough to accomplish. The financial burden is only $17 per week, so I can do that too. I was worried that they would decide I needed in-patient treatment, which could have cost up to $10k. That's more than I've ever seen at one time. I just have to remind myself how easy I really have it, and constantly remind myself of the consequences of screwing around. Five years locked up with rapists and murderers if I so much as smoke one spliff. Not a hard choice to make.
Ya know, I've never understood this obsession most guys I know have with those super skinny girls. It's really a mystery to me, and I grew up in the culture. I'm just different, is all.
Feeling flat? Like a soda left out too long? Or just kinda two dimentional, like a cartoon? Why? Am I asking too many questions? Should I really drink that 'nother cup of coffee? Yes, more coffee is definately a good idea.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Dec 11, 2003
Well im glad it doesnt seem to be as bad as it could be.
Well - duno bout the obsession with skinny girls, but ive just been asked if i'd like to be a glamour model. help.
Yes the soda left out but also the cartoon. erg.
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Dec 11, 2003
Glamour model? Not much I can do there. Sounds as if you just have to cope with people looking up to you as a model of what beauty is. The way you put it was great! That 'help' was kinda like a giving a hawk the bird (rude hand gesture indicated by holding up a fist with the middle finger raised) right before impact.
Whew, I almost couldn't type there for a minute. Mental imagery got the better of me.
So, a cartoon soda that has been left out too long. Hmmm, that's gotta be weird. So, wassup?
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Dec 12, 2003
worra? you lost me there with mouse imagery. What am i gona do? And what mental imagery? Explain yourself boy!?
wassup... dono - feeling real flat and pissed off
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Dec 12, 2003
The mouse thing is from an old tee-shirt design here in the states. It shows a cartoon of a defiantly holding it's hand up using that rude f*ck you hand gesture that is so common here as a hawk (depicted in a steep dive) is inches away from impact. It's funnier if you had seen it, and the way you wrote that posting just reminded me of it, must have been a overload. I just couldn't stop chuckling after that image got stuck in my head.
As for what you should do, do what seems like the right thing. I say take the job, you can always quit if it sucks too bad. One of my motto's in life (and will be added to my rules after this posting) is that the only things in life that are to be regreted are the opertunities not taken. I've never regretted anything that I have done in my life, not even when it led me to be homeless in New Orleans. That was not a good thing, but now I have that life experience to draw upon when making similar decisions. I also learned a lot about who I really am, and am actually happier with who I am than before. There are better and easier ways to go about these learning processes, this is just part of the path I have taken.
I'm starting to get a little too serious about things.
So I ask again, wassup? Why do you feel these things? Am I asking too many questions? I have a habit of doing that.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Dec 16, 2003
I've told the woman i'll think about it when ive finished collage. Its be so cool, but then if i had a boy, which i ont, im not sure he'd like it much. Nor my mum. And i dont have the confidence.
Seriousness is good every now and again...
Nah u not ask too many qz at all. Its all abit bouncy in my life at teh mo. I got from one extreme to another not for any very good reason. And everyone says go see the doc, but i dont want pills and i dont want therapy so whats the point?
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Dec 16, 2003
For some strange reason, self confidence tends to increase at uni, at least over hear it does. I still say go for it, but it's not like I'm the one that has to do it. As for what a non-existant future boyfriend may think, that sounds a little shaky. Have you talked this over with your mother? If not, then you should. I've found that parents can surprise you even after a quarter century of knowing them. They tend to be supportive of whatever it is the child is doing (as long as it's legal), or should be.
Don't go to any docs about your feelings. I refer you to rules 4 and 26 on my page. Also, check out the news link on my page, it will tell you a lot about pills. And other assorted crimes against humanity. All backed up with solid research. Anyway, the best thing to do is to talk it out. Doesn't really matter who you talk to, just as long as you trust them. The thing is that you will have to talk about things that you may not know are bothering you, and without a good trusted person to confide in, you will never open up enough to talk about it. I wish you the best of luck with that, it ain't easy.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Dec 20, 2003
Mmmm. well. Ive said no now, so theres no point persuing the matter. My mum has said before she doesnt agree with it and knowing my luck if i did it, my bro would find it seeing as he uses enough porn so...
Im not going ot the doc becasue i dont want pills and i dont want therapy. So looks like im stuck with it. I dont know how to talk about it cozi dont know what it is that is wrong... or why. so looks like im abit scr*wd... hmmm*gets an over bearing snes of loneliness and longing*... merry crimbo
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Dec 22, 2003
Bah Humbug! I don't particularly like christmas, and not just because I'm pagan. It seems to be the most depressing holiday, where we all get to see just exactly how our lives this past year don't measure up to the way it's supposed to have been. Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!
I wish I could help, I really do, but I don't know what's wrong with me, so how can I possibly help anybody else? Sucks to be locked up in your own skull. I always just focus on what it is that's making me feel bad at that moment. Doesn't really accomplish much, other than helping me avoid assorted bs in life. That and lots of gin. Gin helps out a lot, a lot of gin helps out better. I like gin. A lot.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Dec 23, 2003
well i found out how not to help myself. Dont go off and do things to blokes you dont even like in locked toilet cubicles. Oh woe is me. What was thinking? I was flattered by the attention and now i have to face him everyweek... erg...
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Dec 24, 2003
....We've all been there before, sorta. With me it was this crazy puerto rican in a swimming pool. I worked in a resteraunt with her. Rum and swimming pools don't mix in crazy company.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Jan 6, 2004
mmm. well at least i dint have sex with him, but to be honest i could have used my head abit more.... *affectionate cuggle!*
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Jan 7, 2004
Well, that's good, I think. Although I'm confused as to what could have happened in that locked toilet cubicle, but I'm pretty sure my 'fragile little mind' couldn't handle the info. I think I'm still a bit traumatized by the rum/swimming pool/crazy Ruerto Rican episode.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Jan 7, 2004
Fragile mind? you? Im sure you could work it out... me define it as everything but full sex... does that help? Traumatized? how?
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Jan 7, 2004
Crazy...Puerto Rican...water...mmmnnnhhhh...noNOnONoNOooOoOO!
Actually it was a lot of fun, but that girl just fliped out and started stalking me. It was weird, I'd move a few times, change my number, and then one day I'd come home from work and she'd be sitting on my couch chatting with my roomate. Crazy woman. Eh, she lives in another state, or so I'm told my her twin sister.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Jan 7, 2004
now your playing with my mind.... huh? twin sisters, evil stalker women and all that caboodle... sounds like a saucy male fantasy...
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Jan 7, 2004
No, really, I swear it actually happened. Her twin sister looks nothing like her. They're supposed to be identicle, but her twin has ballooned out, and I worked at the resteraunt with the both of 'em, so I know they're really twin sisters. She wasn't so much an 'evil' stalker as a tad crazy and overly friendly at completely innapropriate moments.
It does kinda sound like those letters in the 'adult' mags, doesn't it? My life would make a good fiction story, nobody ever believes the things that happen to me.
Sproket Hot Line.
Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Jan 8, 2004
oh sorry... but you see where i came from right? The only identical twin i know isnt very exciting but hel... oh well... im not sposed to know whats in adult mags... im a good girl
Sproket Hot Line.
Sneaky Posted Jan 8, 2004
Yeah, I see where you're coming from. A lot of stuff that happens to me is like that. It's just...unbelievable. Hell, sometimes I don't even believe it myself, except I was there.
Interesting fact. I've met three-fourths of all my friends in my own living room. It's like they're drawn to my interesting life like a moth to another moth.
Key: Complain about this post
Sproket Hot Line.
- 61: Sneaky (Dec 10, 2003)
- 62: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Dec 11, 2003)
- 63: Sneaky (Dec 11, 2003)
- 64: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Dec 12, 2003)
- 65: Sneaky (Dec 12, 2003)
- 66: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Dec 16, 2003)
- 67: Sneaky (Dec 16, 2003)
- 68: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Dec 20, 2003)
- 69: Sneaky (Dec 22, 2003)
- 70: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Dec 23, 2003)
- 71: Sneaky (Dec 24, 2003)
- 72: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Jan 6, 2004)
- 73: Sneaky (Jan 7, 2004)
- 74: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Jan 7, 2004)
- 75: Sneaky (Jan 7, 2004)
- 76: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Jan 7, 2004)
- 77: Sneaky (Jan 7, 2004)
- 78: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Jan 8, 2004)
- 79: Sneaky (Jan 8, 2004)
- 80: Sneaky (Jan 8, 2004)
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