h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Were the aliens friendly? I missed you! My problems are evil and mean and life is a brussel srout right now, but... grrr. It happens.

You should write an article on the stuff you know about drugs and anti-depressants. I reckon loads of people would find it really helpful...

You're a miner? Does that mean you can find out something for me? They were thinking of using my Termination story int he UG, but then nothing came of it. What happened?

The aliens were mostly indifferent, but served really bad food. They apperantly had a job to do and were just going about it in the most impersonal way they knew how, exepting the occasional SOB that just delighted in making people miserable. I'm glad to be back, I felt pretty bad about just disappearing like I did, especially with the formation of the Sproket bitch about life page. Eh, life just likes to do that to me on occasion.

I've thought about writing an article on meds, but what I know doesn't jive very well with what is commonly accepted, especially by the medical community (drones that they are). It would never make it into the Edited guide, and I'd feel like I was cheating if it got into the UG. (merely excuses, I'm really pretty lazy)

Yeah, I'm a miner (looks suspiciously over shoulder). I just happened to run across the UG (and then the AWW) a couple months back, and when I saw they were still looking for miners, I unabashedly begged to be let in the scheme. I've always been more of a fiction reader than non-fiction, so the UG was perfect for me. I wasn't involved in any of the talks about your story (either from being new to the scheme, or from being abducted by aliens), so I couldn't say right off-hand. I'll as about in the off-site group and see if I can find anything for you.

Ahhh well its good to have you back. The Sproket page has been on hold for abit coz it will not accpet the code i give it, but im still trying. So bare with us.

I wouldnt worry about what's considered acceptable! Though to be true, if its a personal opinion then the Editted won't like it. How about submitting something to the Post though?

If you could find out bout my story, id appreciate it, coz im just a lil curious... anyway, if not never mind. Hope you k!

I asked about your story, but haven't recieved an answer. Unfortunatly I don't have my cable modem anymore, so it will be a while before I'm back online. I can only log on at work, and I have the next four nights off.

I really haven't tried writing any entries yet out of sheer laziness, not because of my earlier excuses. Maybe I'll get off my ass and write something, but don't hold your breath.

Gotta go, I'm off work.

Ah! Thanks! I appriciate you trying to find out for me. Anyway - what are you doing for the next 4 days then?

How about an entry on erm... strawberry splits?

Have to go for lunch now... yum...

"Anyway - what are you doing for the next 4 days then? "

Laying tile, the most grueling phisical work I've managed to get myself into, and I've dug ditches by hand in the Mississippi sun in the summer (my former opinion of the definition of Hell). I hurt in places that just aren't decent.

By the way, just what is a strawberry split? I've heard of many ways to enjoy a strawberry, but never called a split. Maybe I'm just being American again.

I haven't checked the off-site group yet, but will write back if I get the chance to tonight.

I checked off-site, and am more confused now than before. I have no idea what's going on with your termination entry, but do have other news for you. Your peice "How I Got Past Self-Harming" was picked by the miners, and passed by the UG eds, but unfortunately it was rejected by the italics (it wasn't the only one either). I guess it was just too contriversial for the front page, but never fear, we are trying to find a way to get you the attention you deserve for your oustanding writing, just not entirely sure how yet. By the way, A Girl Called Ben sends her love. I dislike being a messenger (first rule of conquest, always kill the messenger), but made an exception for this one. Anyway, I hope to have a real answer for you soon.

I'll have to reply to this a bit later as im about to go sit a two hour exam where i write an essay and hope to get 300 quid for it... hummm

Hope you did well on your exam/essay. 150 quid an hour ain't bad for an essay, even though it would have to be one hard essay. Where on earth did the word 'quid' come from anyway?

Just found out about your entry. It's still being considered. I think the general concensus was to give you some time before putting it on the front page, some type of sympathy thing going on there. I think they want to know if you would be ok with it going on the front page. Seemed to me that you would be after asknig me about it, but I've been spectacularly wrong before.

Aye - well the essay went ok. I wrote abotu music and why i like it So who knows - someone could disagree totally with me humm. Its more than 150 and hour coz its 300 a year for each year of my uni course so 300 for 3-4 years. mmmmm

Hah - dint know that about the article. Well, thats good. I've said before I don't mind what they want to do with it coz it stays up here whether they use it or not. Thank you... As for the self harm thing, well... I didnt know they'd looked at that, but it was rejected by the Italics once before when i put it in for the editted, so thats not a problem. Thanks for that. how are you?

You're most welcome. I never have a problem helping a friend.

For four years that essay could be worth 600/hour. That's if it took you the whole two hours. Now that's some work that can be appriciated.

Me? I'm doing mostly ok (sobriety is really different). I'm working two jobs these days. The first at a hotel at night (where I do most of my internet surfing) and the second is laying tile for a friend. I didn't know there were muscles in some of these places. It's good for me to work like that, I really need to get in shape. At better than 100 kilo (104 if my math is right, 2.2kg/lb) I'm a little (ok, a lot) overweight. The weird thing is that I don't really care what the average person thinks about my appearance. I just realize that if I don't do something about it soon, I'll likely die young.

So, how are you holding up? I know you've been going through some serious stress lately.

okie.

thats if i actually get anywhere witht hat essay. but i duno. yep i did take the full two hours on it. that could be good or bad. hummmm.

is that a live fast die young thing? I dont know how much 104 kg is in stone, so cant comment, but i know im ridiculously overwieght now coz of all the shit that happened. I put on all the wieght and cant lose it... grrr.

me holding up like a donkey on stilts. Clumsy and wobbly, but just about managing to stay upright (though occasionally trippin)

Live fast and die young? I'm gonna live forever! Really I've just recently had to give up my only real vice (this wonderful green flower that just happens to be illegal here in the 'States). Thirteen years of dodging the law on that harmless pastime and my luck ran out.

How much is a stone anyway? You can give me almost any conversion and I'll be able to figure it out. Although SI is the easiest.

Occasionally trippin'? Psychadellic! (One more hint at my nefarious past.)

a weed... bonny flower. so what happened? you get a warning?

stone = 16 pounds. pound = 2.2 kg...

i dint mean drup trips, but wouldnt mind that now. chem first thing today. dont want to go...

If I only got a warning, I would just have to be more carefull. Unfortunately they decided to give me 36 months of felony drug probation. The felony just comes from the amount I was caught with. Here in Florida it takes a ridiculously small amount to become a felony. All I did was mind my own business and smoke some good green, and now I have to deal with a whole bunch of BS due to an unfortunate propaganda campaign back in the '30's so that the FBI would continue to have a purpose after alcohol prohibition ended. Amazing how harsh the law is on people that never hurt anyone, while letting rapists, murderers, pedophiles, and crack dealers walk free with no more than a slap on the wrist. It's absolutely insane. After I make my fortune in life I plan on retireing to Amsterdam and running a coffee shop. Spend the waning years of my life in a haze of bong smoke drinking really good coffee. Ahhh, that would be absolute bliss. Something for me to work towards now that I have all this motivation.

I guess I would be at approx 14 stone, too much for anyone that never saw the inside of a gym.

A good 'trip' would be nice, but I've left those days behind me. Only so much tinkering around with the subconsious that I can take. They (my RL friends) think I'm crazy as it is. We've all had those clumsy days, I was just goofing off of the lack of a 'g' at the end of 'occasionally trippin'. Such a strange sense of humor I have.

*tutts* what you doing getting yourself caught. So what does that involve you having to do? Do what we do and smoke herbal tea. It pisses them off coz they think they've caught this big drug person and then its only tea. lol...

14stone is not heavey for a bloke. Speshly coz i like bigger blokes. you dont want to be a misty young lad now do you? lOl

Well, here is a virtual trip...

Actually I got caught because my roomie at the time was selling some on the side to help him pay rent. I was just unfortunate enough to be home when they served the search warrant. The terms of my probation include paying court costs, visiting my probation officer twice a month to be tested for any use at least once a month (that I have to pay for, both supervision and testing), complete any and all treatment that their councilers decide I need (which I have to pay for), and at any time, without a warrant, they can come into my home and search everything for any and all items that I am prohibited from possessing (not limited to illegal substances). On top of all that, if I so much as get a speeding ticket I violate my probation and face up to five years in prison. If I fail any test, or fail to complete treatment, or fail to make any payment on my fines, I am violated on my probation and face up to five years in prison. It is a real pain in my ass, and I got off easy. Some people have so many conditions that they can't possibly complete their probation and end up with some ridiculous prison sentance. Insanity, I tell you. Your idea of smoking herbal tea would actually get me in worse trouble. They call it possession of a counterfeit substance, which is a second degree felony (mine is a third degree) that carries a much stiffer sentance. I almost forgot, I also have a 9pm curfew. Senseless, considering I work a graveyard shift.

I agree. I like for a girl to have some substance to her. Something about those rail thin girls is disturbing. Unhealthy, I tell you! It might just be that I love to cook cajun style, spicy as hell and will stick to your ribs (not to mention I only know how to cook for ten). The Fat City, Naw'lans (New Orleans) is home to the best food on the planet, it's just not the food a person eats on any diet ever thought of.

Jeeeeeez - thats harsh... v tuff. Dya reckon it'll work out ok? How you getting around the curfew with your nighttime shift? Do you have to be escorted or sumat?

Girls with substance i dont know, cept that boobs are better than not. But id rather have a bloke who can cuddle me warm than having to smother him to keep him warm type thing... lol

I'll be allright. It sounds bad, but it could have been a whole lot worse. They could have given me five years in prison right off the bat. As it is, I can do this. The curfew, well, they know all about my job and have ok'ed it, so I'm not in any danger there. It only matters if I'm caught out and about after 9 on a night that I don't work. A lot of the ways that they can violate me they usually don't bother with unless they have a good reason to suspect the person. All I really have to do is pay the fees, fines, and associated B.S., and tell them what they want to hear and I'll be just fine.

For girls, I just can't stand seeing bones poking out at odd angles. Women are supposed to be rounded at the edges, not all angular and board thin. However, my views are not those shared by most people here in the states. I tend to catch some flak from my friends because of my interests in the fairer sex. As my brother always told me, 'F*ck 'em if they can't take a joke.'

So how you holdin' up?

Well, if you need to scream about anything i'll respond in a suitable way im sure. How likely is it you'll break it?

How can people in america prefer a stick? What defines a stick? Def rather be with someone witha sense of humor who i can see and cuddle... mmmm... *longing*

me holding up oddly... feel flat.