h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings from the Ockendons of Thurrock

Hello DS,

Are you having lots of party political broadcasts during the Presidential Elections. We have them mainly during General and Eurpean Elections, and very few people watch them. Last time I voted it was very hard to understand what to do as there was a long list of candidates a lot that I had not even heard ot. When there is any electioneering all that is done is a few of the political parties mostly two) bother to send any leaflets and even less do to door to canvassing.

Yes Burn's Night is on the 25th Janunary with the piping of the haggis, my favourite dish.

Ma name is McBell and I live down a well.
And it's at the the bottom of a dell.
I dwell with frogs who love to jell,
and they yell everytime they swell.

I eat prunes by the dozen with a spoon,
and I play a tune on the piano everyday at noon.
Then at night I gaze at the moon which makes me swoon.
Holding a ballon as I think of past loves that all have been strewn.

Here are two samples of my poetry:

Well, I'm nae bothered as I prefer to be untethered.
And not have to be blathered about when nonsense spreads when folks get gathered.
I'll take it easy and not be in a rush, even though means I'll be late.
As I rather take life in a sedate pace at very slow rate as I await my fate.

My neighbour is driving me around the bend,
with her shouting on the phone to all her friends.
Giggling and screaching as she wails on the phone.
As she drones on and on with every groan and moan.
Can't listen to the televison with her constant shouting,
as she talks to her guests about her touting.
With gossip that she keeps on sprouting,
and then complains about me being noisy when she's pouting.
Can't escape the sound of her voice, no matter what room I am in.
Some say I should take it on the chin but all want to do is escape the din.

Thank you for your kind wishes, but sadly we have dull and overcast weather and it looks like the temperatures are going to drop -minus 4 or 5. I hope that your weather is a lot warmer.

That is one thing I have not have done is go camping.

Warmest wishes and regards,
Katrine

Greetings, greetings !!!!



Most enjoyable !!! "McBell" was also composed by you? I recognized your neighbour in the last poem

Electioneering here is quite entertaining. The candidates go into endless bouts of personal mud-slinging - the economy and other important issues are pushed into the background.

I've never tasted haggis - thought it was fictitous.

You will enjoy camping, I am sure.

Warmest Regards and Wishes,
DS

Greetings fron Essex on a cold winters day.

Yes I wrote the poem "McBell" inspired about a laid back local bus driver. Thank you for your very kind compliments and gracious praise for my poems.

The same over with electioneering which is why people are turned off by party broadcasts.

There is a joke that January and February is haggis shooting season, but it's a Scottish myth. One says that you need a special gun that's curved when you go around the mountains of Scotland to shoot it and if they come off the hills they die because they fall as two legs are shorter than the other. Other myths are that they live with the Loch Ness monster and that it looks like a distant hill. Infact it's a Sheep's bladder filled with oatmeal and herbs.

Warmest best wishes and regards

Katrine xxx

Greetings on Election Eve - Colombo !!!!

Hi Katrine,

I would dearly love to go on a "haggis shoot"



Tomorrow night we will be up all night listening to the election results, playing poker and a BBQ with game from last week's shoot. Needless to say, 27th will be a holiday !!!

Hope this brings good, mild weather to Essex.

Warmest best wishes and regards,
DS

Greetings from Belhus (South Ockendon)

Hello DS,

Not very good at card games myself. The most difficult game I played was around 1979/1979 when I played contact Bridge. I learn by playing cards through than read how to play from a book.



The weather will be cold for a while now perhaps until March when the temperatures could get a bit higher.

Warmets wishes and regards,
Take care
Katrine

Greetings from Colombo !!!!!

Hi Madame,

Well, the elections are over - the incumbent president prevailed.

I saw on TV, British weather has eased up - you must be quite relieved.

It's a long, long time since we had a real drink, so, for you ...... Bombay Gin + Tonic Water + lots of Ice

Hope all's well and you're having great time !!!!

Warmest Regards,
DS

Hello DS,

Great to hear that incumbent president won.

Sadly when they mean mild weather it usually means wet and windier and feels a lot colder than when there's minus temperatures and the weather will be colder at night for the next few days. But the long range forecast for the next five days always changes on a daily basis one minute they say it will be snowing, the next minute it will be cloudy and the next sunny.

Thank you for the Bombay Gin + Tonic Water + lots of Ice , it will warm me up as I am having feeling rather cold.

Thanks for the , here are +, +mint which are my favourite flavours.

Best wishes,
Katrine

Hi Katrine ,

Just got home after a few days in the hill-country (central part of our island).

+ + + (like After Eight ?)

The returning President, who won the recent elections with an unbelievable majority, has put his chief rival in remand custody. I think it's da..ed unsporting.

We've not had much rain here and it's steaming hot !!!

2:40am and I am still working !!!!

Trust you're well, and the study course going nicely.

Warm Regards,
DS

Hello DS

Sorry for the late reply.

I love being in the countryside and especially the hilly areas.

Thanks for the + + mint + .

It has been a bit chilly but not as cold as other parts of Europe where they have had -33C very .

Thank you my course is going well and have a homework tomorrow morning, then my course in the afternoon which includes lessons work on English grammar and punctuation and then my practise English Exam paper.

I hope that you had a good weekend and that you will have a very good week and when the weekend comes have a much needed rest.

Take care,
Warmest wishes and regards
Katrine

Hi Katrine,

Sad news from Colombo . My family's beloved pet dog - "Dusty", passed away very peacefully, earlier today. At twelve years old, as far as canines go, it lived up to a grand old age. Dusty leaves us with many, many, wonderful memories.

Well, I really need to , so please ...... Southern Comfort + Lemonade + + + +

Shall drop in under more cheerful conditions soon !!!

Have a lovely evening .

Warmest Wishes and Regards,
DS

Hello DS

I am very sorry to hear to have taken so time in repying to your message and that you have lost your dear family pet dog "Dusty".

Poems about the loss of a dear family pet dog:

http://www.doglistener.co.uk/humour/poems.shtml


Of all the animals, surely the dog is the only one that really shares our life, helps in our work, and has a place in our recreation. Ferdinand Mercy


Thank you for the lovely and welcoming Southern Comfort and Lemonade (my mother's favourite drink) + , + , + , +

Here are some + , + , + , + to warm us up on this cold day.

Thank you for the , lovely if flavoured with .

Warmest wishes and regards,
All the best,
Take care,
Katrine

Greetings from Colombo !!!!!

Hi Katrine,

How's life? Hope all is well ...... some flavoured for you.

Plus, JW Black Label + Dry Ginger Ale


All the best, Warmest wishes and regards,
Take care,
DS

Greetings from Ockendon

Hello DSThank you life is treating me and I hope the same is for you. Last week my mother visited me for tea, which was very nice. She is lives at Care Home because she is very frail and wheelchaired bound, needing 24 hours nursing care.

Feeling rather chilly this week, due to damp coldness in the air. Rather have frosty weather.

Thank you for the flavoured and here is another JW Black Label with Dry Ginger ale.

Take care and all the best,
warmest wishes and regards,
Katrine

Greetings!!!!!

Hi Katrine,

Trust all is well in Ockendon. I've been away most of this month, and when at home have to write boring reports.

May I offer you a Martini? and of course some

Many Regards,
DS

Greeting and salutations from Thurrock

Hello DS,

Thank you everyone is well in South Ockendon, and I hope everything is going well you are and sorry to hear that you have had boring reports to write.

Do you know where the expression daylight robbery? It comes from a
time when people had to pay a tax on the windows called daylight tax.

Thank you for the Martini and thank you for the .

May I offer you a 1lb hunger cure with salad and various relishes and a pint of real

Best wishes and regards
Katrine

Greetings !!!

The 1lb hunger cure was ----- Wow !!!

Went on hunt and got wild boar.



Daylight Robbery !!! Was that tax imposed in Britain???

Best Wishes,
DS

Greetings from Belhus

Tonight our clocks go forward an hour, this happens on the nearest Saturday at the end of March.

My late father only had wild boar once at that was a trade fair in Glasgow, I have not had it myself but I have boar sausages.

I like pork to have a lot of crackling on it.

I hope you had a good hunt.

Daylight robbery, yes it was a tax imposed in Britain, I think they even had a roof tax.

Warmest wishes and regards,
Katrine

Greetings

Hi Katrine,

I remember adjusting the clocks for "summer time". However, in the tropics, there's no such seasonal adjustment.

I too love pork. Wild boar crackling may not be so nice as it's very tough, even after using pressure cooker.

Hope our tax guys don't get a broght ides like that.

Well .... time for a drink

Warmest Regards,
DS

Greetings from a very wet and blustery South Ockendon

Hello DS,

I love eating roast pork with lots of apple sauce and sage and onion and I have the pork with lots of garlic stuffed in it.

I have used a pressure cooker in the past to cook oxtails, but that was over 25 years ago.

The weather forecast says that we are due for a cold and that Spring will be late this year.

Thank you for the

Here is a James Bond special a vodka martini cocktail shaken but not stirred.

Take care,
All my best wishes and regards,
Katrine