h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We have all heard of some invaluable hints government has given people to help with their everyday lives, and in tribute to this advice this game will seek to give equally useful pieces of advice for the general populace.

"When operating heavy machinery do not attempt to compare the weights of different machines by hand"

Researcher PSG

"Always store paperwork in a cool dry place and keep away from fire"

"When making toast ensure that you are not swimming"

"Ice skates are not recommended as safety footwear"

"When flying in airoplanes do not attempt to fly model airoplanes in the cabin while reciting the crash reports of aircraft disasters as this may disturb other passengers"

"When cycling it is recommended to avoid collisions with wheelie bins due to the damage and embarresment such instances can cause"

"If you are faced with a nuclear holocost try and maintain a happy and sunny disposition and look on the positive side of life."

"On searching for lost objects always remember they will be found in the last place you look"

"It is normal procedure to open a door then walk through. Confusion of these actions can lead to unnecessary distress"

"On reaching objects from high shelves, please not that a stack of books lacks stability in use as a step"

"Petroleum is a useful power source for cars and machinery, but it is not recommended as a body wash"

"In the interest of efficiency and speed, it is not reccomended to walk on ones hands for long distances"

" Smoke detectors are not useful for timing the preparation of food"

"Jewellry made out of paperclips does not tend to go down well as a present"

" It is not recommended that you eat your voter registration form. This is not only due to the risk of disenfranchising yourself but also because of the dubious nutritional content"

"It is not recommended to read maps upside down"

" Walls are not advised guides but generally rigid barriers to motion"

"Care should be taken on standing up underneath cupboards"

"Juggling bricks is not advised"

"On encounters with grizzly bears it is not advised to give them a hug"