h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: M*A*S*H TV series - A10270306
Author: The_Jon_m - Scout, I am the only and only, nobody I'd rather be. Wibble - U204330

and no, there isn't already an entry on the series, just on the film

Not meaning to be a stickler for spelling, but in the first sentence, you have 'Altman' spelled 'Atman', just thought I'd mention it....

This is amazing, The_Jon_m - well done

I was a great fan of the series, and you've evoked some wonderful memories.

(I thought Hawkeye and Hotlips *did* sleep together, and both agreed to forget about it when they were rescued) but that could be my memory playing tricks I do remember the kiss they shared very well indeed..
That series was very powerful, it had you laughing, crying, then laughing again. The characters were very realistic.
When the lads rigged the shower to collapse when Hotlips was using itand Radar killed his rabbit so Hotlips could do a pregnancy testthen Klinger turned up in a wedding dress

Your entry does it justice, and then some.

If I have one quibble, it's a bit too long, you really don't need the "nominations" sections, the "awards" are all that really matter.

Well done

GB

I thought they slept together

however I found a quote from hawkeye suggesting that the rescuse stopped anything happening

and I couldn't find clarification either way in the episode guides

Hi Jon,

I love this, I love MASH and the way you have written it is brilliant! Of course, I clicked and scrolled looking for Klinger immediately and thank the sweet Lord I did

Look!!

"Of Lebanese decent from Toledo Ohio, Klinger's family had a proud tradition of being declared unfit for duty, and Klinger tried his best to follow in the tradition."

Nooo! Jamie Farr was the Lebanese from Toledo:

July 1, 1934: Born as Jameel Joseph Farah in Toledo, Ohio of Lebanese Antiochian Orthodox descent.

His dad was a butcher....

Klinger was the cross dressing character Farr could never in future crawl out from under...





Wilma

klinger was defo from Toledo Ohio - he went on about toldeo a lot

I think he was written as a Lebanese-american so that it wouldn't differ too much from Farr. Most of the realtives he mentioned has arabic names

... well of course he was.. errr, they were

I mean, yeah you're right..



*bad* impulsivity disorder *bad*



W

Blimey http://www.h2g2.com/h2g2/skins/Alabaster/images/Smilies/f_bigeyes.gif" />

This may well be the longest entry I've ever commented on PR, although it looks like the final quarter of it is lists of awards which won't need too much - if any - commenting upon. However, because of the length I'm going to do this one on the fly rather than reading it through once or twice and then reading it again as I comment.

General comments:

Several sections of the entry drift between present and past tenses. That will need to be ironed out.

Some of the links are broken. Go through them - any that come up with a BBC page saying 'Bad request' instead of the relevant IMDb page have an extra space here, between the " and the http: <LINK HREF=" http://

Intro:

Atman - Altman

ensemble driven - ensemble-driven

"and a TV series was commissioned, airing on September 17, 1972"
'and a TV series was commissioned, premiering on September 17, 1972'
(or 'first airing on' if the word 'premiering' won't do).

Peninsular - Peninsula

"A M*A*S*H unit is basically"
I believe the army recently retired the very last MASH unit, so you might have to change that paragraph to past tense. Ah yes - here we are http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5219020

"His added to the already tense situation"
'This added'?

The Cast:

"While most of the roles from the film recreated in the series"
'were recreated'

"His tent was always full of drying women's laundry"
Now, that needs some work of a grammatical nature, but I have to ask first if there's some significance to the fact that the laundry was 'drying'. It's been a long time since I saw an episode of M*A*S*H and I can't remember.

"It was been suggested"
'It has been suggested'

"He was offered a lot of money to have his own chat show, however it bombed"
'but it bombed'

Captain Pierce:

your average America doctor - American

Hawkeye is an brilliant thoracic surgeon - a brilliant

"and was the camp's head doctor"
Do you mean he was the brain surgeon, or the chief quack?

"just to the annoyance of Major Burns"
'to the annoyance of Major Burns'

"His initially his main targets"
'His his main targets'

"although Burns left and Houlihan mellowed"
'although in later seasons Burns left and Houlihan mellowed'

"When Major Winchester joined the show, Hawkeye found a more able adversary, whom he also admired"
I'd move that sentence to the end of the paragraph since it comes between two other sentences about Frank Burns.

"He even almost slept with Major Houlihan"
'He even came close to sleeping with Major Houlihan'

"the Swamp"
In the case of titles, I think you're supposed to capitalise the definite article. Like 'The Beatles'. I might be off on that one but to me it doesn't look right if you say 'the Beatles'.

"and was the second last character to leave the camp"
How about 'penultimate'?

"one of the most prominent left wing actors"
'one of the most prominent left-wing actors in the US'

"Alda had a clause in his contract that stated that"
'which stated that'

there had to be a seen - scene

"To many observers it seems likely that"
'To many observers it seems that'

"Many fans of the film, including author Robert Hooker, prefer Donald Sutherland's goofball to Alda's self righteous portrayal"
I think that belongs at the end of the paragraph.

"Alda is one of the leading left wing actors"
You said that already.

Captain McIntyre:

"but that honour was placed on Hawkeye"
'but that honour was placed on Hawkeye in the TV series'

Frank Burns:

"Frank disliked Henry Blake because he was disciplined enough"
'wasn't disciplined enough'?

"and didn't warm to Potter like the rest of the camp, and made a number of cracks about his age"
'and didn't warm to Potter like the rest of the camp, making a number of cracks about his age'

"and was the but of jokes"
'and he was the butt of jokes'

one dimensional - one-dimensional

"Frank was the victim of most of the practical jokes played him the camp"
Not sure exactly what you're trying to say there. Perhaps 'Frank was the victim of most of the practical jokes perpetrated at the camp'?

"'Hot Lips' Houlihan":

Firstly,

"Major Houlihan brought up with strict military discipline"
'was brought up with'

"she was a very strict, by the book officer, and made"
'she was a very strict, by-the-book, officer and made'

"and he two had a good working relationship"
'the two'

"was one of only two actors that were in both"
'who were in both'

"was one of only four characters that were in every series"
'who appeared in'

lien - line

Father Mulcahey:

"he was often on hard to hear people's problems"
?

Initially he as uncomfortable - was

"By the latter seasons"
'In later seasons'

"which it seemed that nobody outside the camp wanted to give him"
'which no-one outside the camp seemed willing to give him'
Wasn't Col. Potter able to give him a field promotion? Why did it fall to others to promote Father Mulcahey?

"Burns typifies the reactionary right wing Christian American"
I know what you mean mate, but I think the word 'American' might have to come out of there. If you do leave it in, good luck arguing it with the Eds.

"a Christian of faith"
That's peobably going to need a bit more explanation since the other, right-wing Christians will also swear their faith.

"in the midst of the madness"
'in the midst of madness'

"Mulcahy was deafened by a shell blast, though he got B.J. to keep this quiet"
That's a rather... interesting choice of words And house style says 'BJ', not 'B.J.'

"in the show After MASH"
Was that another TV show? It needs to be italicised.

The last time I saw William Christopher was a year or two back on one of those long, rambling commercials you get on American TV, and he was sitting in a chair saying "Hello, I'm William Christopher. You may remember me as Father Mulcahey from the TV series MASH." It seemed a bit sad, and...well, a bit Troy McClure really. Like one of those old actors who was once in hit series but didn't get much work afterwards and is playing on their old success I haven't the foggiest idea what he was pushing.

That's all I've got time for today. I'll come back to this one tomorrow perhaps.

Don't I even get a link to my Film version entry?



A2903708


I also wonder if the inclusion of a TV entry in the guide makes it about time this one ==> A264395 was retired completely...

I feel this entry is far too long, at 9,000 words. The ideal length for an entry is about 1,000 words. It's not readable at all, and is more like a wikipedia article than a Guide Entry.

It could be improved by removing completely all that information about awards, and anything else that smacks of geekiness.

The rest of it should probably be split up into two entries, one about the TV show, with perhaps a couple of sentences about the three or four most important characters, and one about the characters in the TV show, with all the detail.

Whisky, I've added a link in the official MASH entry (A264395) to your MASH The Movie entry (A2903708).

I have to disagree with you on this occasion Gnomon. True, the entry is exceptionally long, and the lists of awards aren't really necessary except to demonstrate just how highly regarded this show was, But I have (so far) found it eminently redable, and the comparison with a Wikipedia entry never occurred to me. I'm sure that once the entry has been through the PR process it'll be even more readable and possibly a bit more concise. I think a very few subjects do lend themselves to long, comprehensive entries, and to split this one up would be a bad thing, I believe.

Which bits in particular do you find geeky?

removed the nominations + some of the awards

will work on links and corrections on sunday

Loved it Jon

I'll add a little niggle to the list though - you mention Catch 22 as an army phrase - I believe that the phrase and premise both come from Joseph Heller's book - Catch 22.

Are you still working in this Entry Jon?

Emmily

Re: Hawkeye and Hotlips.

I've been asking round my friends who were also MASH addicts.

The general concensus is, they "did" have sex, when they were in mortal danger and thought they were going to die. When they were rescued they both agreed never to speak of it or "it never happened" but we all knew it was just waiting for the right time for it to happen..

Hawkeye's character never looked at Hotlips in the same way after that, he stopped teasing and tormenting her, but she treated him just the same as she always did, with utter disdain.

Fabulous

Having recently watched the relevant episode on DVD, it seems obvious that they did.

The follow up was that Hotlips assumed it was the start of a proper relationship, Hawkeye didn't like the way she was starting to boss him around. After a hostile interval, they agreed that they had both learnt something from the episode but would not take it further.

It os a very comprehensive entry, but does it tell us anything new or in a different way compared to this website http://www.mash4077.co.uk/index.php ?

updated, added links in and altered hotlips and hawkeye

His added to the already tense situation.

Should this be He added?


The surgeon's tent which Hawkeye's shared with Trapper (and later BJ) and Burns (and later Winchester) was called the Swamp which was a rather apt description.

You need a comma after tent


Under the title of Major Frank Marion 'Ferret Face' Burns

number,

this should have a ; after it.


Burns' ability as a doctor were limited at best and was the but of jokes by the other doctors who had to repair the mess that he made. It was his lack of medical ability that meant Hawkeye became head surgeon ahead of Burns.

Can you change were to where and but of the jokes, I think, should be butt of the jokes


Frank was the victim of most of the practical jokes played him the camp. These include :

Can you bring the colon in by one space?


Radar had a network of contacts among the other corporals in Korea, this meant that he could normally be relied on to get his hands on almost anything, except medical equipment which the army seemed rather unwilling to send to a hospital! One of his main contacts was Sparky, who was the man at the other end of the telephone.

After the word Korea can you put a semi-colon?


Colonel Flagg: I've got to nip this guy in the bud. This sort of behavior is contagious, you know. One guy decides he's not gonna fight anymore, it catches on, and pretty soon you know what we've got?
B.J.: Peace?

Behavior should be behaviour


It is one last torture to Charles that he left the unit in a garbage truck. After the war, Charles went on to become head of Thoracic Surgery at Boston Mercy hospital. David Ogden Stiers went on to do the usual array of guest and movie roles, notably staring in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Stiers' rich voice has has been heard in a lot of Disney movies.

Should it finish “rich voice that has been heard….”


Apart from Margaret, Nurse Kellye was the most recognisable and commited nurse in the show. The short, round oriental woman was incredibly caring and a dedicated nurse. Alan Alda wrote the episode Hey, Look Me Over about her being a vital part of the healing process.

Committed is spelt wrong.


The camp's PA operator had a rather dark sense of humor; he used to announce the week's movie or incoming arrivals

Humour is spelt incorrectly. That is the American way of spelling it.


Attention all personnel . Due to a lack of casualties, today's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 in the morning... And midnight has been cancelled.

Can you bring the fullstop in after personnel?


This last episode, which was two and a half hours long and directed by Alda, aired on February 28, 1983. Nearly 106 million people tuned in to watch it, which meant that 77% of the viewing public watched it. A record audience even till this day.

The 2 and a half hours thingy. Would the 2 be better as a two?


15 With an award title like that, lets hope the acceptance speech was short.

Should it be let’s?

I apologise if these seem picky, but I’m a new scout so want to impress

No need to aplogise for pickyness, however ..

>>>Can you change were to where


should be were


otherwise, updated

A10270306