h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nothing much to this room except it is the middle section of the Bug.. and small..

Members enter the Bug by the door connected to this section and from entering, to the left are the stairs that lead to the Cargo and cabin decks.
In the far top left the stairs lead down to the engineering decks and back of bug..

To the right the wall contains a door frame that leads into the cockpit..
And just before that is the waste disposal and Vid screen..

In between the stair spaces is the small kitchen and in the middle is a table with four chairs..

[Series VII parameters]

*Rimmer's projection unit is sat on the kitchen counter*

*Steps down from cockpit and walks over to kitchen and picks up Rimmer's projection unit and connects it to Starbug's own...*

*climbs back into cockpit*

*hops aboard and continues eating chicken*

*continues eating chicken*

*sneaks in when he hears the cat sing his eat chicken song*
Are we alone?

I was Flared Nostril Head!

*eats chicken*

*looks menacingly at cat*
Listen you simple-minded overdressed Elvis-look-alike insuffarable little git!; I've just made a chocking discovery that just might put everyone on this ship at risk!

Then we better get off Starbug then!


...You stay!

No, no! dont go outside, it's on Red Dwarf. You'll get killed!

What is?

*stands up and speaks in his most patronising "explain-the-most-simple-thing-to-the-most-childish-person-like-he-is-a-five-year-old*
Now listen Cat. I believe... That Dr Anthea... is... An Agonoid...

A what?

An agonoid. A deragned lunatic droid bent on torturing all forms of humanoid life for as long and as painfully as possible, without remorse, without guilt and without compassion.
They will do unspeakable things to you, like rip out your kidney and show it to you, or in your case, force you to wear manchester trousers with a chemistry teacher's cardigan and platform shoes.

Hey there's no way some four-eye-browed freak mess with me!


BLOOD with this suit?

*grabs a bazookoid*
Right, you take this and we'll get to the bridge and warn the crew, I'll cover your back.
*grabs bazookoid*

*jumps to feet*

*then drops back down to eating chicken*

What are you doing?
The crew is in danger, we need to help them!!

Really?