h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Are you alright Gill?" mumbled Janet, suddenly realising his silence.

' I'm missing Slapton, he was the only person who really liked me' cried Gill

The other guys in the room all raised an eyebrow...

Put me down you bullies' shouted the eyebrow.

It was decided they should kill however came up with that terrible, terrible pun...

Luckily it was one Slapton had left in his will, so killing was not required.

Didn't stop Raymond, X2 and Oddy giving Gill the look which every guy gives when one guy shows any affection for another guy...

The sort of look that's normally associated with a shout of 'Backs to the wall boys'

Gill suddenly started signing about the time he and Slapton romped in the fields in Surrey...

When they were both carefree university students, and the sun always seemed to shine.

Just a shame they weren't outside most of the time, sniggered X2 to himself...

Gill recovered his composure, remembered he was one of the most ruthless business men in the universe, and gave an evil laugh.

It made him feel much better.

I have made a momentous decision ' said Gill, back to his normal self.

"I have decided not to go to Preston" he added.

The assembled crowd looked like their gob had never been so smacked.

'huh! Coward!' sniffed X2

' Now, now' said Janet 'Gill might have a very good reason for being so cowardly '

"My mother lives there," Gill explained.

' You're not scared of your mum are you? ' said Janet.