h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Depending on which state you live in Aussie rules football or the 2 rugby codes are referred to as football (or more commonly just footy). In no state is association football called football, in this country it is called soccer wherever you go. Sorry for not clarifying that if you're out there Jim. By the way Fars, you'll swallow anything. It is obvious to all and sundry that those polar bears were a top secret military project who were unexpectedly spotted by members of the public whilst wearing their combat fatigues. The flimsy cover story regarding follicular infestation resulting in mysterious algal blooms simply doesn't fly. Wake up and smell the coffee, Fars. Incidentally, the only nuclear testing of any sort ever held in this country was conducted by Great Britain in the 1950's. The workers who, have since had all sorts of health problems, have been seeking compensation from Her Maj's small change collection for many years. If their cases can just be postponed a little longer, the last of them will have passed away - case closed. "Great" Britain - not sure about that on this occassion. Such is life.

mr biomass .... thanx for the stone jug m8 .... i will proudly display it alongside the other trophy i have ... ive finally found somewhere that i actually fit in !!!! .... i just gotta start drinkin cheap aussie lager n fire up the barbie now n again ...wow ... me an honory australian ... and i aint a criminal !!! .... apart from a speeding fine last year ..wehey !!! im overjoyed cobber ...

Biomass, there are plenty of things I wouldn't swallow . Anyway, I don't see how it could possibly be a top secret *military* operation, seeing as our labs have been engineering microorganisms capable of changing the fur colour of animals for the sake of haute couture clients who prefer coats that come in 'natural' colours other than white and brown, and are now secretly testing it worldwide. Dammit, now that you know, I'll have to kill you. Please be informed that even as we speak, spies are tracking down your location and gunmen have been dispatched. Remember to change your locks now.

Regards,
Diana Burnwood (Controller)
Merces Letifer Agency.

Good on ya Jim. Grab a beer and stumble on over to where all the smoke's comin' from. Oh, and don't worry about the criminal record mate, you're British - in this country that's considered a crime in itself. Your in bro', pull up a stump.

How naive of you not to make the link between the military and the fashion industry. The sole reason that women love a man in uniform is that all the best designers have seconded to the armed forces ever since Alexander the Great wore that natty liitle above the knee, gathered at the waist number. You walk into a city, attract all the babes, the blokes have got nothing to hang around for and - BAM - now who's the king? Also, ever seen footage of a major fashion show? All those men in black suits and dark sunglasses, barely visible, hanging around right at the back of the picture - camouflage and night vision goggles, baby! Get with it, it's going on right under your nose! I bid you good-day and tip my eloquently crafted, tastefully designed cap to you gentleperson.

cheers cobber ... throw another kangaroo on the barbie n make room 4 a little one ... fosters or 4x ??? do u have stella artois down there ??? something with a bit of go about it ... none of that cheap n nasty stuff 4 me !!!! cya l8r m8 !!

Yeh Jim, we've got Stella Artois down here, plenty of it - and it's all yours mate 'cause no-one here drinks that toilet water. You'd probably like kangaroo Jim, but try to get some crocodile into you, it's bloody beautiful. By the way, I hope you weren't saying aussie beer doesn't have any go about it or that it's cheap and nasty. Someone's been feeding you light beer. Oh, not very many people drink Fosters, and no fool drinks XXXX. Nearly all the humans drink VB (Victoria Bitter), so take a tip Jim, that's the one you'll eventually gravitate towards - I'm just showing you the shortcut.

im a real ale fan ... like a real brew !!! ... i tend not to drink lager .... whats this victoria bitter like ??? .. send e-mail with pics ... my addy on my space ... cheers m8 !!

It's in agreen can or a brown glass stubbie (375ml) or long neck bottle (800ml) with a green label. They sell it over there Jim (I know they do, but you might have to look further than your local bottle shop. No problem the way you get around so just keep your eyes peeled), so treat yourself to half a dozen stubbies (the preferred format). Send you pictures! Geez Jim sending this message tests my computer abilities to the max. Are you good on these things then I take it?

im a complete novice m8 ... i only bought the pc 7 weeks ago ...

Well you're working beautifully Jim!

im learning karate as well ... i think this is easier tho !!! .. im gonna have a mooch about see if i can find that beer ..

Good on ya Jim. I did martial arts for quite a few years and unlike science it's good for the mind and the body (not to mention the soul). The one thing that they do have in common is that you never stop learning. As for VB, I want you to track it down like a boyfriend that broke your daughters heart (cheatin' little toe-rag). Go hard or go home Jim, leave no stone unturned. Your reward will be that beautiful music that it plays when you open the first one. Ksshhhhhct. Oooh, baby.

im a man on a mission !!! ... i will bite his head off ... and drink his blood ...

God bless ya Jim, welcome to the brotherhood!

rite ... erm ..yeah ...wot was i doin ??? ... oh ...dunno i forgot ...back l8r when i remember ...

Yes! I would like to join the Campaign!

Also, I remember reading once that if the whole substance of the Earth disappeared, we would still be able to discern its features from the presence of microbes. Where might I have read this?

welcome aboard ... bigal ...

Hi Jim,

I'm still trying to understand how to work the site. How did you insert the 'blob'

I followed the instructions using 'GuideML', I think it was. However, I received an error message saying that I could not have two items at the top of the page, or something. Sorry, can't remember precisely what I did as it was several hours ago.

BigAl

hi bigal ... erm ...i cant actually remember ... paging mr farlander for help !!!!