A Conversation for The Needs of Pregnant Women
Beatrice Started conversation Apr 16, 2003
Those 'orrible 'ormones run riot in your body when you're pregnant, and can have a marked affect on your personality.
I completely lost my sense of humour - I took everything very seriously and was grouchy and grumpy the whole time. Aside from it being a nightmare for my partner to live with, i was a nightmare for ME to live with - I could recognise that I was not my usual self and I hated me.
Coping tactic - remind yourself and everyone around you that it is a temporary state, and that normal service will be resumed in about 9 months time.
Alcohol/ coffee and cigs were relatively easy to give up - my body really really didnt want them. I knew I was pregnant the second time when my sister made me a coffee one day and I recognised the revulsion I felt inside.
I also had fairly healthy cravings (for salad, yoghurt, liquorice allsorts ...)
Pregnant women need a lot of understanding. They usually do want to sit down and put their feet up, and if you make them a nice cup of herbal tea and a dry biscuit (ginger is good for nausea) you'll be doing the right thing.
Don't assume that someone on their 2nd (or more) pregnancy needs less help and assistance - if anything they'll be even more tired since they're running round after a toddler, possibly coping with terrible 2s, teething, toilet training etc at the same time as being pregnant. The most wonderful thing you can do for this woman is to take the older child(ren) well out of the way for a couple of hours and let her sleep.
Albaus Posted Apr 16, 2003
You made some good points Luckystar:
>Pregnant women need a lot of understanding.....
>The most wonderful thing you can do for this woman is to take the older child(ren) well out of the way for a couple of hours and let her sleep.
Couldn't agree more, a lot of people forget that just because you've done it all before doesn't make the physical hardships any less.
Just being affectionate is lovely too, a kiss, a hug, a loving smile means a lot to a hormonal, fat, tired, cranky woman. My feet were *cripplingly* sore with both pregnancies, so do offer foot/back rubs - it is no joke to be in constant pain/discomfort for months on end. Even if your massage attempts are less than professional, being rubbed at all is nice when you're sore and I always appreciated the attempt. I also appreciated how dh would automatically offer a hand to help me up from a seat. Once I got heavily pregnant I had real problems getting up from a low seat or a reclining position, I was like a dying fly, arms and legs wiggling ineffectively in the air. He would give me his hand and heave-ho without even thinking about it, it was great.
Also, if your pregnant partner makes an occasional slip don't be a tit about it. I have a friend whose husband was a such a wanker about her having ONE glass of wine on her birthday (she was about 5 months pregnant and hadn't drank until that point in her pregnancy at all) that she ended up in tears. Remember that an occasional slip up is NO BIG DEAL - and you would probably do a lot, lot worse in her position. That's not to say it's ok to be glugging back the Chardonnay and on a pack a day when pregnant, but we all know the difference between an occasional slip-up and a problem habit (and I speak as one who doesn't smoke and who rarely, if ever, drank when pregnant).
Oh, and a tip for the men, don't ever, ever try to imagine you know how it feels, or try to compare any discomfort or pain you have ever had to being pregnant. It's not the same.
Most of all, persevere - and that goes to all partners, husbands, boyfriends, whatever. The time will pass fairly quickly for you and at the end of it all you get a brand new baby - if that isn't worth you being extra kind and nice to your loved one, I don't know what is.
Slarti-Babs (his younger prettier sister) Posted Apr 17, 2003
Before I go on I would like to support and agree with all that has been said before ( especially about the rubs! Ahhhhhhh lovely........)
But every woman who has been through a pregnancy herself will no doubt have plenty of tips and advice to pass on to a first timer, which can be really helpful, but then again, as every single pregnancy is different, not all these tit-bits are actually as helpful or supportive as intended. It can be very daunting to be told endless horror stories of marathon labours or weird discomforts. Not to mention feeling overawed by things she doesn't NEED to know til she finds out for herself !!
I myself spent a LOT of my pregnancy in hospital, surrounded daily by women who had seen or done it all before, and while I did learn some vital coping tactics (like eating a ginger biscuit first thing in the morning!) I was also scared wit-less when a woman told me my baby should be moving forty times an hour like hers was!
So just remember when passing on your wisdom, answer questions by all means, but try not to overwhelm the poor girl!
Linus...42, i guess that makes me the answer... Posted Apr 22, 2003
The easiest way for me to deal with all those rampant hormones was to go and work in New Zealand for a month. I don't know if it helped my wife much, but it did wonders for me
Actually she did have the bed to herself all that time which she no doubt quite enjoyed!
nicelouease Posted Aug 24, 2005
I am a Grandmother with 6 grandchildren. My pregnant (7 months) daughter lives with me and she is expecting her first child. She has been out of control with her raging hormones and I am tempted to speak with her Doctor. I know that she has a lot on her mind, I try and be supportive even though I work a lot of hours every day. She flies into rages if I say boo. Mind you I do not nag her, quite the opposite, I try and do all I can to assist her. I offer to massage her back and spend time trying to feel the baby kick. The harder I try, the worse she gets. She has even broken a telephone and tells me I am psychotic. She is the one who wanted to come and live with me....i even moved from my home into a larger one for her and if I mention this she says i am throwing things up in her face. I am at my wits end. I am ready for a psychiatric hospital after this pregnancy. Anyone that can shed some light or helpful advice is GREATLY appreciated. I know we all have issues in our lives, but I just don't know what to do to comfort her anymore. I love her dearly and can't wait for my granddaughter to be born....please give me some advice. Grandma Jane
Leopardskinfynn... sexy mama Posted Jul 27, 2006
How did the rest of the pregancy go, and how did your daughter fare after giving birth? What a shame no-one saw your ask for help.
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