h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Could be, but I'm sure I bought Double Gloucester...

Hmmm yes but the idea was that you see the chese was as chesey as it could b, however I dident indent for it to be all as chesy as all that was.

I had a first date with someone who told me that his mother sexually abused him. Following dates were about armageddon and the second coming of Christ. Why did I stay with him? I now realise that iffy subjects like this are warning signs of worse to come. Had I not gone in the car to a pub miles away on the first date I would have walked out there and there. This is why I always date close to home or somewhere that is accessible to public transport.

I once went on a date with someone who wouldn't stop going on about his tractor.

The worst place to meet someone is anywhere with music too loud to talk. I once got together with someone I kind of knew in that kind of situation, after alcohol and after that he made very sure he wouldn't let me go, even though I probably wouldn't have gone out with him under normal circumstances. In fact, he had hardly any positive attributes (except for being good looking) - I still have no idea why I stayed with him for a couple of months!

When people I'm going out with start talking about weird things I ALWAYS try to change the subject - especially when I don't know them very well sensitive topics can be really dodgy!

I normally change the subject, even fact almost always, but with this particular idiot I couldn't get a word in edgeways. He never stopped to draw breath. I only realised what a prat he was when I observed him with a cousin with whom we were staying with at the time. He talked at her and her husband the whole time about God and how their daughter was spoilt. They didn't answer back because they too culd not get a word in edgeways.

I normally change the subject, even fact almost always, but with this particular idiot I couldn't get a word in edgeways. He never stopped to draw breath. I only realised what a prat he was when I observed him with a cousin with whom we were staying with at the time. He talked at her and her husband the whole time about God and how their daughter was spoilt. They didn't answer back because they too could not get a word in edgeways.

Amzing this conversation has been revived. Breathed new life into it as you could say, if you like that sort of metethor. Anyway I have once rejected a girl who was asking me out, and this was for the reason that I actuly had another girl at that point (this has happened only once and I don't wonder why) however I can officaily say it was the worse decision I ever made.... As for 2 days later the girl I was going out with kindof sundenly went all "new found religion"ish on me and dumpted me for the Aeithist bastard that I am. The one who was asking me out was only after a 1 night stand, but hell it whould have been worth it.

Going on about his tractor? Sounds hilarious! Reminds me of an advert that appeared in a Nigerian personal ads column I read about in a book once: "Man seeks 19 year old woman. Must have own tractor. Please send photograph of the tractor". Very silly... How did he manage to keep talking about it the entire time?

Also, meeting people when you can't hear them is a bad idea, but never the less highly amusing. Last term I went several days before finding out what his name actually was. (Well, Sam and Dan do sound similar when you're struggling to underhand what the other person is spraying!

Yes you wonder where this tractor fixation comes from... better yet I woint hypophasise... each to his (or her) own I suppose.

An amusing anecdote told to me by a friend: Attending a function in a building surrounded by fields in Ireland, a talk was given, and ended with the sentence "And if you have any problems, you can go and talk to a tractor". It later turns out that the person in charges of the complaints was a woman called attracta! Well, it amused me!

Lol... he was going on about how he tinkers with his tractor constantly - rather like a boy racer with a car! I guess it can be viewed from a tongue-in-cheek psychological perspective as an extension of a certain piece of anatomy. I've been out with a couple of guys who enjoy obsessively fiddling with their classic cars... the same kind of thing really! Why do I attract these mad people?! That tractor personal ad is hilarious... and so is the other tractor story! Hmmm... next time I see that ex...

Well I can say that if anyone asked me what was under the bonet of my car I whould say "Its probebly a engine, but It mught just be a tiny horse for all I know". I know absaloutly nothing about cars, all I care is it goes from A to B (possibly to C on staurdays).

I (unfortunately) don't attract mad people - just promiscous and under-confident people (they don't tend to overlap). A mad person would make a nice change.

Mad people are great fun to go out with. For a start you never get bored of them! They also have the advantage of being easier to get over if everything goes wrong because you can laugh at how ridiculous they were! Or i guess they can be harder to get over... I'm sure I'll never spend xmas eve in the 6th form quad at school trying to get drunk on whisky flavoured fudge in the rain with any bf/gf ever again!

I can say that despite the fact that I have never done somthing quite so barking mad I can say that a gf who is barking mad is occasionly better then one without. I wont make any anecdotal evidence on this fact, I will just use the movie "Crazy People" for evividence.

I've done plenty of barking mad things, just none with anyone I was seeing at the time.

Well, one, but we won't talk about that, it's a bit rude.

On the other hand, I got a text telling my my sortof-ex wants to dance with me while chained to two people and being very drunk... tonight. Who knows...

Well I don't have any X's who want to be anyware near me, so think yourself lucky.

He'd shed the chains and the drunken desire to dance with me by the time I met him on monday, and just downright shunned me in the queue fort a club last night (which I didn't get into, due to phenomenal queues) so I think I'll give up there.

Well it just goes to show that, if you wan't to dance, do it over there, or while your drunk, or not at all. I think it shows that, but then again I have no idea what anything shows anymore, I don't whatch much TV (I should be shot for that one).

When I'm drunk I'll do most things, but texting exs isn't one of them. Rather than deleting my exes numbers, I simply change the name and save them on my phone as something suitably prohibative such as "DON'T". Some of my friends get onreally well with exes but most of mine are either ignored or I'm at war against them! eek! And I don't really mean for it to be like that, I just dont have much choice.