Two people, their eyes meet across a crowded dancefloor. They casually stroll closer together. She smiles, he blushes, they both move to say those first heart-fluttering words...

Not every attempt at romance works so harmoniously. There's the awkward body language, sudden palm-sweats and the inability to string a sentence together to contend with. You can be the most confident person in the boardroom but when it comes to the art of lurve you become a gibbering, chattering random-monkey or else turn to stone like a victim of Medusa.

How do we do it, folks? How do we learn the gentle art of seduction without resorting to gold chains, cheesy 'Heaven-must-be-missing-an-angel' chat-up lines or 1950s finishing-school tips that would appear naff to even the most blushing of virgins?

Please share your loved-up knowledge with us poor inadequates. We need all the help we can get...

Graphic supplied by Jimster.