h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1) Ignorance - A tell-tale sign that somebody is American is when they constantly feel the need to yell their mindless and poorly thought out opinions and believe that their cultural imperialism is in fact doing the world a favour. Attempt to show some humility and understanding of other cultures.

2) Culture - Lacking any discernable culture of their own, Americans have a terrible habit of talking about Van Go (whatever happened to the 'ch)and Shakespeare (like I totally loved that movie with Gwyneth in it) as though they are the highest forms of culture known to man. Avoid the subject altogether and if someone British starts talking about high culture, avoid saying how you like the latest Bruce Willis flick.

Sadly agreed.
My mother was in her office the other day and she was discussing one of our trips to a museum or other (believe it might have been the NYC Metropolitan or the Cleveland Museum of Fine Arts) and she mentioned Degas, and her coworker (who is 28) had no clue who he was! I mean, you'd think you would have had to at least HEAR about his art... yet she knew what happened on the 'Survivor' episode the night before.

And that last paragraph most likely falls under the first category. Aww lo siento. I am American...

Suga ,its shure is difficult to fake ,the british accent .
But I is from etlanta ,Georgia .

An frankly I don't give a damm

Punctuation also seems to be a problem too.

>> Punctuation also seems to be a problem too <<

You forgot to mention the spelling

Ya'll speak weird over there in merry ole england .
Why would I wanna hide by beautiful southern accent ?

We share the same language,but we are Alien to each other

You should visit Glasgow ,my friend.Thats like another galaxy.....

Glasgow would be jumping in at the deep end... start off in Essex - I've lived here 10 years now and sometimes I still look blankly at people when they talk!

Good to know which regions to avoid

The easiest way to appear British for your average American is to forcibly claim to be so, shouting down any protests in a flurry of amorous vowels and gurgled indignations. Every American I have ever met has claimed to be Irish, Welsh, Jamaican, Welsh Jamaican, Scottish with a feral grandmother or Italian with a quarter Vatican. Their implicit belief in these origins coupled with their steadfast chins, should be enough to see them through any difficult questions from doubting Thomases despite what the other cultural, linguistic or semantic clues might seem to claim to the contrary.
Quite why any American would want to claim to be British however, is beyond me, as between us we have only won a single, paltry World Cup. Far better to go Brazilian, diet and squeeze into that bikini.

In response to this remark, I have to say Americans don’t think their culture is better. They know it is--people WANT to incorporate it. (Just kidding) Anyway, culture imperialism reminds me of something...it's on the tip of my tongue...of course!
I remember now! "British Imperialism!" Colonizing half the world! Forcing their culture and way of life onto the natives! This "cultural imperialism" seems to be much more prevalent in Britain than in America. Of course, Americans have kicked out Native Americans and you could "say" that was happening in Iraq, but how many colonies does England have? Yeah, so many I don't want to try and find out. They said the sun never set on the British empire, but I say it was constantly setting on the British empire. (Note--When trying to persuade someone into believing what you do, it's customary to also give the opposing viewpoint.)
The next time you feel the need to yell YOUR mindless and poorly thought-out opinions, attempt to show some intelligence and shut up.

The above replying to the original post, not the one directly above it.

Yeah, Archie, you be cool.

Of course Jimmy-Z will do well to remember that Britain did not colonize anywhere rather, the British colonised other countries.

In addition to this he should realise that Britain, as a result of Parliament acts, has no colonies any longer, due to pressure from the Americans.

Moreover, when Britain did colonise a country, they at least did so honestly bringing the benifits of international trade, infrastructure and peace between warring factions. Oh dear, America does not quite match up to that record with their invasion of Iraq. Perhaps they could learn from the British but I rather doubt they would be willing to do that.

Just be yourself, and say what you have to say, whether it be in English English, or American English, or whatever English, you get your point over because there is a common denominator.... English language.
bye the way where do think I come from?
Canberra6.

You must be from Oz

Ouch!!! I asked for that, good on yer. I'm british but lived abroad for 43 years and still do with great pleasure! look on the blog spot http://canberra639-canberr6.blogspot.com and see what you think about my posts.
Greetz,
canberra6

Well, with a name like canberra, my reply was to be expected, i guess.
It say 'page not found'

oeps forgot a few letters :- should be http://canberra6raf-canberra6.blogspot.com sorry for the glitch must be age or something
for now,
Canberra6

sorry, it still says: Not found. Must be google, eh?
Bye bye

yep!!