Ask Prof!
Created | Updated Jul 11, 2003
False laws and pseudo theories...
Greetings! Welcome, friends, to Ask Prof, that famous column filled to
the brim with quintessential questions, fascinating facts, jovial jokes and
much merriness. I ran out of alliterational spirit after that last one, I'm
afraid. But never mind - I must conserve my writing skills for the whole
page!
This week, I'm afraid, will contain a shorter column than most. My lack
of time in which to complete work for my audience is due my extensive work
upon secret projects aboard the Space Station. Indeed, so secret that I've
even written the minor details of them in my journal on my user page. Still,
you'll never work out what I'm really up to, now will you?
*sniggers*
Now then, today I wish to talk to you about something you may have
noticed me refer to in the course of previous issues. Earth-science, as I
term it, is the outlook scientists on Earth have on the workings of the
Universe. Being a fairly typical planet to live on, Earth has subjected
these poor people to such things as religious bias, political pressure and
public will. As such, their calculations, theories and hypothesis are
tainted with these factors, and therefore are not entirely true. These
issues have, of course, also produced helpful little side effects: take for
example the actual pursuing of science, in every one of us being a tiny
desire to disprove the existence of any Gods. If religion hadn't come about,
would we still wonder about the nature of the Universe?
The fact is, though, that as the rest of the Universe managed to come to
grips with the true realities, Earth (along with many other planets - I'm
not trying to pick on Earth alone) was left undisturbed by this, floating in
space oblivious to what forces were actually acting upon it. A classic
example, and one which brought Earth much shame in discussions amongst such
respected scientists like myself, was the speed of light idea. I mean, of
course light has a speed at which to travel at, and Earth-scientists
actually measured it correctly, but the mere idea of not being able to
physically exceed it is absurd! How do they think basic impulse engines
work? They travel faster than light, even before we use such methods as
light-circumnavigation through hyperspace or wormholes. If truth were told,
when Einstein came up with that law, he had no real evidence to support it.
It is my firm belief that he only set that limitation in order to make
calculations based on it easier. Couldn't grasp the idea of infinite speeds,
you see.
However, the narrative realm of science-fiction has certainly benefited
from these false laws. It is a natural human instinct to want to find out
more of the Universe (or at least it is now, anyway), and people obviously
feel uncomfortable within the limitations laid down by the scientists. Hence
their imaginations kicked into action at last, and they escaped their
confines to boldly write what no man had ever written before. Little did
they know that their fiction would turn out to be fact.
As life goes on on Earth, I watch it from my Space Station, orbiting
geosynchronously over h2g2, and known only to h2g2. New theories come out,
all based on those laws of relativity or some other nonsense, and I cannot
restrain a laugh. I often wonder whether I should make myself known to them,
and show them the wonders this vast Universe has to offer, but they wouldn't
be prepared for galactic life. Still, they'll work it out one day, I'm sure.
After all, everyone else did.
And so, before I go on to the letters, it remains for me to tell you some
exciting news. I answered the letter of Bumblebee
a few weeks ago, who told me that she'd lost her
question. I supposed that the handbag had some shifty goings on with the
great Question Marauder of Galactic Cluster Two, and indeed my theory has
been proven! I encountered him only a week ago swiping a particularly
important query from an MP in the House of Commons in England. (I won't tell
you what I was doing there.) Needless to say I was after him like a shot,
but he managed to evade me. The chase continues however, and I know he's
hiding somewhere in the Sol star system. I'll keep you posted with any news
on the pursuit!
Letters
Alas, the flow of letters has been reduced to a trickle. This is probably
due to the Question Marauder, but I cannot tell. Write to
me - you'll not regret it! Too much...
Subject: Bases
I thought your article was quite enlightening,
and although I have some points to raise would like to congratulate you on
making it so simple for other Earthlings, even the dolphins.
Right, I was wondering: what with me being a master of bases, I have
difficulty when imagining that in every corner of the galaxy every
intelligent creature to evolve has 10 fingers. Now, I know why they have
base 10 in this of backwards worlds, but the universe is a big place. And I
think that I am wrong in the above (theoretically), so did you spark some
kind of deal with the races of the Universe or did you just use your base,
being the one you're used to.
[Please wait. Loading data...]
01 : 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
02 : 101010
03 : 2110
04 : 222
05 : 132
06 : 110
07 : 60
08 : 52
09 : 46
10 : 42
11 : 39
12 : 36
13 : 33
14 : 30
15 : 2C
16 : 2A
I did these in my head, because I know many people will think I just got the
computer to do them.
Can you see why this moon system would be disputed? Some alien culture would
have to learn a whole new base just to get on with telling the time, just
like we do on Earth with BiDecimal (12), QuadDuoDecimal (24) and HexyDecimal
(60).
-- DoctorMO --
Goodness, it looks like I've got quite a bit of explaining to do. Doctor,
you've brought up some very good points indeed. First, I will explain the
reason that the base 10 (decimal) system is used throughout the GalaGroup of
San Beta.
You see, I mentioned a while ago that it was a joint effort between a
number of races to colonise the planet of San Beta, where the Government was
founded. At least two of the races had evolved to have ten primary
manipulators (a general term used for fingers - can't be too certain as to
what they are with some species), and so used ten as their base. The reason
for the timing system using base 10 is because of the revolution of the
moons around Gagranchia. It just happens to be that they work counting in
tens. A similar anomalous planet using base 7 was discovered only after the
San Beta Time System had been established.
After that, quite a few races aligning themselves with the new San Beta
Government found that base 10 was a very regular thing to use, and so
adopted it. I naturally played a part in its foundation, of course, but not
to the extent at which you speculate.
The principal of adopting new systems and rules has been a problem
throughout San Beta. It's pretty easy to establish new regimes on Earth,
there being only one dominant race, but putting them through an entire group
of six vast galaxies with the trillions of races therein poses some
difficulties. In the end though, after a ruling has been reached, all
species abiding to the Governmental laws simply have to get down to learning
a lot of new stuff. Europe on Earth finds itself in a similar situation with
the adoption of the Euro currency, there being quite an uproar about having
to learn a brand new system.
Numbering is one of the harder things I've had to tackle in my time as
GalaGroup Overseer. Well, thank you for your letter!
The end of Ask Prof has been reached for yet another week. I shall return
again with more enlightening entertainment, scintillating silliness and...
No, no more alliteration, please!
Yours with fingers counting up to 1023,
- Professor Christopher Tonks
Minister for Science & Technology for the Alabaster House
GalaGroup Overseer to San Beta
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