A Planet of Total Harmlessness...

Ah-hah! So here you all are again! My dear readers, I do again apologise
for my absence these past couple of weeks, but we scientists/GalaGroup
Overseers/Ministers/adventurers do deserve a little time off now and then,
don't you agree? But let me assure you that I have a wealth of topics to
talk about now, and will not hesitate to blind you with my knowledge of the
Cosmos!

Before those weeks of wisdom-induced optical interference however, I will
answer a question someone e-mailed me a while ago, but I found too long to
answer at that time. This week I have reproduced an article written by
myself about Governmental Planet, my official home, and capital of San Beta.
Do enjoy it!

[Extract follows from The LoaGO DataBase, Copyright © Chris Tonks
2001.]

The planet of San Beta, also known as the G-Planet, has been the centre
of GalaGroup politics for many Earth-decades. Governmental Planet is there
now for one purpose, and one purpose only: to house the greatest and most
diverse range of politicians and diplomats the Known Universe has ever seen.
Though quite a small planet, San Beta is the central attraction for all
visitors to the San Beta GalaGroup, and home to the great Prof. C. Tonks,
most profound leader the Government has ever had.

The entirety of the planet is made up of several huge cities (much like
the planet Coruscant in the galaxy ST, about a light-aeon away), separated
by two seas. The land to water ratio on the planet is roughly 1:5, and yet
the seas aren't particularly huge. The reason for this puzzling fact is in
the infrastructure of the main continent, Governmental City.

This tremendous feat of architecture is one of the best and most
sophisticated settlements. The larger of the two seas runs all the way up to
a dam separating it from the mainland. The whole city is built on a large
multitude of platforms and legs over a great, solid and perfectly flat area
of something similar to concrete. As the sea reaches the dam, the upper
layer of water is let through (and cleansed in the process) and spills over
the city's lower floor. This floor is set in steps, which create an enormous
cascading water feature running right underneath the entire city. As stated,
one of the biggest feats ever devised. People are, of course, allowed to swim
in this huge water feature, but no one ever does because it spoils the
effect. Every few days in fact, low-temperature molten metal is sent down
the cascade for a few hours instead of water, both to coat the underlying
floor and to make the whole city shine silver for a day.

As already mentioned, the buildings of the city are set upon platforms
suspended over the water. The roads - though mainly rail networks - are able
to carry innumerable passengers from area to area over grand bridges
suspended attractively over the massive stream below. The biggest of all the
platforms is ground to the Great Park - place of Governmental House, the
greatest building on the planet, and home of the GalaGroup Overseer.

G-Planet was not a natural home to any species. Several races that had
reached high enough technological levels and peace agreements with each
other colonised the planet together. The upshot of this combined effort and
sudden settlement on the planet was that all the architecture was standard,
and there were no indications of various ages. Nothing needed to be
updated.

The architecture of the planet is something any race would be proud of.
Quite similar to some Earthen images of the future, the cities of the planet
are made up of countless buildings, all of various sizes and shapes. All,
though, were built with tremendous amounts of perfectly clear glass-like
material and ever-shining metal, with some concrete and stone thrown in for
good measure. Elevators and a few stairwells adorn the outsides of the
buildings, while the interiors are truly expansive and fully furnished.
Outside the buildings are the plazas, home to statues and monuments of
famous San Betian politicians, and fantastic water displays, all built to
the best standards.

As the second name of this planet suggests, this place plays residence to
only politicians. There are no civilians on the planet whatsoever, bar the
occasional tourist or guest of a visiting government official. Thinking in
Earthen terms, a planet filled merely with officials may sound a bit empty. On
the contrary though - the running of an entire GalaGroup requires many
staff, even with all the computers to do the clerical work. There are
representatives from most of the major planets in the GalaGroup, and all
members of the main Governmental Committee. Several hundred offworld
politicians come and go on the planet every day, and they must be catered
for. In addition, in the line of work they do, there have to be offered many leisure
opportunities, and a lot of the cities' buildings house them.

As the G-Planet is only existent for GalaGroup politics, there isn't
really a culture to speak of. There is no general religion, what with the
officials not having any time for such things, and with all the many races
having their own beliefs, thus putting one another in the minority. Hence,
there are no planetary celebrations, bar the Elections, which are of course
GalaGroup-wide festivities. However, as many, if not all, races have their own
celebrations back on their home planets, or solar systems they represent,
they are always permitted leave on the appropriate date to take part.
Sometimes, an official may have a birthday or some other personal cause for
merriment, and a party will be held. This in turn may get slightly out of
hand, and end up bringing most of the planet into it. Even with a lack of
overall culture, never believe San Beta to be a boring place - there is
always something going on, and people are nearly always in a good mood, even
when they lose the Election every now and then.

But where are the planet's many cities powered from, and how is waste
disposed of? Underneath the surface of the planet, mostly directly under the
water cascade of Governmental City, is the main infrastructure of G-Planet -
huge caverns have been dug right into the hard rock of the globe.
Incidentally, the planet does not have a core to speak of - with centuries
of volcanic inactivity, the magma eventually cooled, and allowed structural
engineers to do whatever they wanted to the place without anything going
wrong. These enormous caverns are where all the waste disposal plants are
kept. Each of the planet's cities is linked directly to one of these caves
by various means, a communal waste shoot included. Every single bit of waste
is got rid of here. The technology on the planet is advanced enough to use
special scanners to detect and separate all the various types of waste, and
send them along conveyor belts to the appropriate processor. Naturally,
everything that can be recycled, is. To actually go down to these waste
processing districts is a bad idea. No one ever goes down there (there is no
manual labour on G-Planet), apart from maybe a surveyor or two every couple
of years. The place is horrible. It's clean around the sides of the caves,
yes, but seeing all that waste is truly disgusting, especially what some of
the resident races produce.

As for how electricity is supplied, the former core of the planet has
been hollowed out, and been installed with generator equipment. Since the
beginning of Prof. C. Tonks' office as GalaGroup Overseer, Gelectron
Generators have been installed, one for each city, supplying virtually
endless power, on a sophisticated, manageable and clean scale.

Also underneath the surface of the cities are the water tanks, for those
few seasons where there is a bit of excess water on the larger sea, and so
ruining the cascading water effect throughout Governmental City. They also
hold clean water, as it is usually supplied from other planets. Huge
underground halls have been constructed for the storage of other foreign
goods and consumables, just to keep it all out of the way. Again, no one
goes down here, as everything is automated, and all buildings that require a
certain product are linked to one of these halls.

In accordance with the rest of the GalaGroup, there is no currency
whatsoever. As soon to be explained in another article, everything in the
Six Galaxies is done on a 'work accomplished' basis, where each person works
their fair share, and is able to receive their fair share of products.
Naturally, this system took a very long time to build up. Anyway, with such
a system, the planet of San Beta is able to afford, as it were, all these
many products. Imports include most if not all the food - as no crops worth
mentioning are grown here - and almost all the clean water. With all the
water in the two seas, you'd think they could simply clean some of it and
use it (and they could), but the excess water from the seas every few
seasons is exported.

This planet has an enormous export of a drink called San Betian Seawater.
There are two versions of this drink, both being pure water from the two
seas. The larger of the two seas is almost the same as Earth seawater, only
instead of the salt there is a substance that tastes just like sugar, but
without all the health problems. This is the basic San Betian Seawater,
which most species drink. But the smaller sea has more to offer. Along with
exactly the same substances found in the larger sea's water, it also
contains a very intoxicating natural alcohol source. This one is drunk by
all politicians, and is exported to all the other planets along with the
standard Seawater, albeit in lesser quantities.

Just like in the rest of the GalaGroup of San Beta, there is no crime on
this planet. There have of course been a few riots here and there, but these
were all caused by jealous representatives from other galaxies and
GalaGroups, who had drunk too much of the local brew.

Hygiene is held in very high regard in all the cities. Automated sweeps
are carried out at night when there are fewer people about. Along the
streets are concealed entrances to chutes down to the waste disposal caverns
underground, which is where any litter is swept. However, there is very
rarely any litter, as all the politicians of most races find it too immature
to leave things lying around carelessly.

The planet's time system is quite simple. It is the closest planet to its
sun, at a distance roughly the same as Earth's, if not a little further
back. In Earthen terms, one journey around the sun takes about ten months,
and one rotation on its own axis is two days long. There is virtually no
tilt on the planet's axis at all, and so there are no seasonal effects -
though certain times of the year are called 'seasons' - hence there are
always around 24 hours of Earth time in daylight, and another 24 hours in
darkness, when the streetlamps create a spectacular effect on the cascading
water in Governmental City, or on the shimmering metal as it flows through
every few days. Unlike a lot of other planets under the Government, the
G-Planet does not have its own planet-specific time system, instead using
only the standard one used across the GalaGroup, which is to be detailed in
another article.

[Extract ends.]

There, I hope you enjoyed that! Now, on with the letters!

Goodness, you are trying to insult my question-answering skills! During
my two-week absence I have received but one letter. Again, I am not disappointed about the content of
this letter, merely the lack of correspondence. Though this particular issue
may contradict what I'm saying, this column cannot survive with my input
alone. Do help us keep this thing vibrant and interesting!

Good day to you! Sorry for making you wait two weeks for your reply, but
last issue was rather full.

Anyway, yes, your letter bears some good points. However, the
Schrödinger's Cat principal only states that until the box is opened, we
cannot tell whether the cat has died or not. Using the cat for an
anti-gravity generator gives us no means of actually killing it (whereas in
Schrödinger's idea the cat could be killed by poison). The only way the cat
could die is by old age and hunger, which it will certainly die of
eventually. We just wouldn't know when.

Thank you for your letter!

Ah-hah! You, my friend, have been secretly assaulted by the Question
Marauder of Galactic Cluster Two! I'm sorry to say this, but it now appears
that even the Earth (I assume you were on the Earth when you lost your
question?) is not safe from this evil fiend! Allow me to explain. The
Question Marauder of GC2 is quite possibly my opposite, at least in terms of
personal goals. We all know that asking questions is the way to knowledge,
and so this person has taken that to heart and decided to steal all the
questions he can find, in a horrible attempt to stop people from learning.
I'm not sure why he's doing this, but I know that he cannot be caught.

It is quite possible that your handbag ate it, but that the Marauder
pick-pocketed you for it. Fortunately for us, that gave way to a second
question, the one you asked above. But not all questions are replaced, and
so I worry when I hear that the Earth is one of his targets. Let me assure
you all that I'll do my best to catch him!

So then, we reach the end of another issue. I shall return again next
week with some amazing facts about electricity - all the gossip and scandal
from the secret world of electrons and their movement. Keep the ears
greased, as they say in many science establishments!

Yours looking healthy and bronzed,

- Professor Christopher Tonks

Minister for Science & Technology for the Alabaster House

GalaGroup Overseer to San Beta
E-mail
Ask Prof Archives


(Page looks best in Alabaster.)

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