h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Having put a few bands together over the years, I still have the same old problems that will occur with any band. Everyone gets along just fine for the first few months because it's new and exciting and everyone's feeling their way, then all of a sudden someone decides that their way is the best and everyone else should follow them. Usually I have found this is most prevalent amongst lead guitarists, who seem to think that they are the best thing that happened to whichever band they are currently in and go wailing off into long, involved, unnecessary solos, all the while fiddling with the vast array of effects pedals that seem to accumulate about their feet.
As a bass player, you can imagine how intensely annoying that is to me, when I'm trying to put a song together and only half the band is listening. I will probably try to put another band together at some point in the future, but I will be very careful about who I choose as a lead guitarist. Most of them seem to want to engage in wanton ego massaging, and guitar w***ing. Beware the rogue ego! It can destroy a band in short order. Here speaks the voice of experience.

I would certainly agree with that.

The lead guitarist in our band is a prime example of guitar "masturbation". He tends to solo for the sake of it when it really isn't necessary.

One really annoying habit that lead guitarists seem to have, is constantly playing during the breaks in between songs. Which means you can't discuss the tune you are working on because you can't be heard.

true!

And worst are those first guitar players whose names are Andy (in my Bnad there are two of this sort! - we never really sorted out, who really IS #1).

But for me, as a drummer, there is an easy way to get attention: One sudden beat of snare drum silences them down most of the times :D

Not a bad method most of time that works for me too. Guitar masturbation sounds bad but drumming ridiculasly out of the time and extremely loudly usually shuts people up!

Hurrah! some people who know what i'm on about! The constant fiddling with effects pedals in between songs is the one thing that really gets my back up. One guitarist I had the misfortune of working with would not stop screeching and wailing and feeding back his guitar. My answer to that was to turn my 200w bass amp up to full volume and play a solid ten minute thrash a la Lemmy. When I stopped the look of shock on his face was a delight to behold. " now you know what it's like" said I, "ok" said he, and stopped mucking about. That band didn't last long anyway as he then ran off with the female singer never to be seen again. Ahhh.. the ups and downs of the music scene.

Hi,

I'm a guitarist. I don't do guitar masturbation, mainly because I'm pants at playing. After songs finish I just stand around waiting - I'm more of a rhythm guitarist.

The main offender in my band is our bassist. Don't get me wrong, he's a brilliant bassist, but whenever there is a short silence he will break out slapping and popping his bass - while we are trying to chat and work out stuff, or even start a song.

Usual methods for shutting him up include; the aforementioned "drum bashing", turning my amp up and trying to solo (oh dear), or our vocalist screaming a wide range of, usually humorous, expletives down the microphone.

Rock on. Or something...

Well I guess that puts me in my place P-)

Well I guess that puts me in my place

My band will normally get together to practice for several hours, and always about three of em are totally pointless japes on piiano and vox, however, as this is freakin' fun, why stop?