h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmmm...
How about:

stick=the Wooden Pillar
1,000,000,000 sticks=palace
2 sticks +friction= fire
shredded sticks + water = paper, some assembly required
few sticks + towel = beach chair

Don't forget
Stick + towel = makeshift sail if your boat gets it by lightning and your mast falls down.

few sticks+towel= makeshift umbrella

Stick or towel = Handy weapon for defence against oncoming alien invaders.

Towel=noose for escaping being captured alive by alien invaders.

Stick = handy acceleration device for your trusty steed, to run away from said oncoming invaders.
Stick + white towel = Makeshift truce flag.

Stick + fabric for head+ cotton stuffing= makeshift horse

See my previous posts above and...
Horse+towel=actual horse with bridle...much more useful than an artifical horse.
Sharpened frozen fish stick+crab stick=highly useful weapon for repelling stupid people/space aliens-doubles as stylish fondue stick. Also great for making fashion statements due to the sauve pink and white color scheme.
By the way, good idea with the paper clips stuck in the stick. Sort of a mace/war hammer/club kind of thing, though I rather doubt you could use it to strike fear into your enemies...oh well.
Just get a bigger stick...
By the way again, this is about the most interesting, albeit silly conversation I've had in a long time. Thanks for keeping it interesting...

I believe I speak for everyone here when I say "our pleasure". Has someone said stick + elastic = not necessarily a boomerang, but it will sure as hell return to you.

Great toy for your enemies kids! A real knock-out, if you get my meaning! Sorry, bad joke, I know!

If you're going to use fish as a weapon, you should consider herring (as originally suggested in a Monty Python movie). For more info on this, see the entry on "wood sprites" and the conversation that follows it.

Why just their kids?
You could probably just stick a sharpened stick in the ground and hope they walk into it...
Or maybe hide their silverware. They'd probably starve.

Sticks certainly are useful, of course. Large sticks can be used to pole vault over your backyard fence when you've forgotten your front door key. A medium sized stick is naturally the device of choice when confronted by an attacking lion (to wedge into his gaping maw, to foil his dinner plans) and small sticks are so useful to put up your hair when it's hot. But what about empty matchbooks? What with the anti-smoking forces being in full bloom, they're an endangered...thingy as well. What will we all do when they are extinct? What will you wedge under the wobbly table leg? What will you give to that gorgeous blond to write his/her phone number on, (which will, no doubt, turn out to be the # of the local Free Clinic)? I know you're thinking "cocktail napkin" but I always end up blowing my nose on it at some point during the evening, so I find it to be a very poor substitute. What else can you use to clean your fingernails, get that bit of spinach out of your teeth, file your toenails, etc. Not your stick! Oh, no--and not your towel or your paperclip either! I don't claim it to be numero uno, but it certainly is up there at least as high as the paper clip. And speaking of which, the bobbie pin-(hairpin probably to you Brits)-is, and has alway been, as useful as any of your old masculine paper clips and its illustrious history goes back eons--however long that might be!! Hey...I think I just convinced myself that bobbie pins are more noble than match books. (I do hope I'm not committing an e-faux pas by writing too much)

I would agree that string is the 3rd most useful item, but, elastic string or 'bungee cord' is a logical development of this. Bungee is also 'Indian' and makes a nice multicultural feel to the inventory. It can do all that string can do, plus it can fend off agressive people who threaten one with questions such as: 'how long is a piece of string' You can say: 'look, it can be any length you require' and quickly snap the bungee at a tender part of their anatomy.

Please were all forgeting the greatest use yet
forked Stick + Elastic = Hand held catapult

Forked stick + Elastic + Towel = annoying missle weapon
Forked stick + Elastic + Towel on fire = shocking missle weapon
Forked stick + Elastic + Towel on fire with spiked ball in middle= painful missle weapon
Forked stick + Elastic + Towel wrapped around nuclear weapon = a very effective anti-aggressor weapon

not only are sticks good for throwing at places you don't like but they are extremely good for hitting computers with when they don't work properly. Its actually in most good computer manuals in small print - and also in that 'software license' thingy nobody reads....

Why is the towel rated so high? It is seldom used in Europe and only in desperation in England.

Errr, have you actually read any of DNA's books which inspired this website? If you had, need you ask?

Humm... I'll have to recomend that one to my I.S. teacher