h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I disagree. As any Upper Street Islington wannabe trendy knows, the chain of bars called Bierodrome owned by or affiliated to the Belgo's chain of restaurants are deeply pretentious. This stems mainly from the fact that they're really wallet-destroyingly expensive and serve hundreds of completely obscure and powerful B*lgian lagers.

And let's face it, how pretentious is Hoegaarden? 'Bière blonde'?

I say, old chap, shouldn't that be 'Bière blanche'? Actually, I'm in total agreement with you. I live reasonably close to the place. Most of that street is so far up its own behind I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off the map and disappeared completely in a black hole of its own making. However, La Peragua is a stunning exception to the rule serving cheap, totally delicious food in an absolutely non-pretentious environment. I quite like the Hope and Anchor, too, on account of having sung in there a few times, downstairs in the folky bit.

Sam

Bierre Blonde I would have said, it being of Flemish origin is it not, old boy. I think you will find that Belgian Beer comes under the Real Ale CAMRA end of pretentious. But certainly, don't go drinking Tennent's Lager. Thats just a life lesson, not a pretentious rule by the way

Bière brune includes porters,stouts and bitters

Bière blonde includes lagers

Bière blanche are the white beers like Hoergaarden.

Each comes with their own special glass.

Now pass the cajun smoked peanuts please.

I'd have thought would be 'bière noir'. Oh well.

Biltong, anyone?

Daaahhhhling, South Africa is soooo last season

You're right - in the hope that this season's Next Big Thing on the pretentiousness front is 'post-Laddism irony', I'll have a kebab.

The Kebab:

The lamb *must* be New Zealand but Halal.

Your bread *must* be made using organic, windswept wheat from Oklahoma.

Chilli is *so* celebrity chef and must be avoided.

Your salad must be unwashed - grit is roughage.

I have heard rumours that after Jamie Oliver did his thing on roasted chillies there were riots in Waitrose!

Well there were in Sevenoaks any way...!

I have just developed THE most painful image of the damage that could be done with a chilli during a riot
Anyhoo, back to the Voltaire.




*Couldn't be pretentious if I tried, could I?*

Surely shopping in common supermarkets is so terribly passé? One simply must shop in organic cornershops, dahling. (Though it is clearly better to buy direct from the mexican who grew them, little Pedro does so appreciate hard currency )

Also you're not supposed to be watching TV - Jamie Oliver is so Populist, to be truly pretentious you should surely be researching your own cook book....

I've got to get back to penning my thesis on 'The Muppet Show as an Existentialist Fable Concerning the Dangers of Man's Inhumanity to Man.'

Oh my dear boy! Still "penning" a thesis? What a quiet little life you must lead. Just make sure you have it printed on Scandinavian Recycled Wood Paper. Students! They take so much teaching!

Oh, of course, by 'penning', I'm referring to the process I use of writing with the latest 'Space Pen' from the Innovations catalogue and then scanning it into my Sony Vaio palmtop. Certainly, it may take a little time, but it's so much nicer to do things 'en façon plus facile', as I'm sure the French might say.

Heavens Above!

What do you all think secretaries are for?



*joke*

Making the tea? And keeping one informed of family occasions.





*Also joke, but still awaits the stoning*

Offering your services Ashley?

I hear you do great shorthand!

why use shorthand when long stroke is far more appealing?

'Ere, I thought we wuz bein' pretentious, not indulging in (yet more) innuendo. Trust the Italics to lower the tone.

A little tip. If you are cooking with fresh chillies dont engage in heavy petting soon after yo have eaten. By all accounts the burning sensation is very painfull, well so my beloved said. Just washing your hands isn't enough