h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How about those Macque monkeys that live on the Island of Sulawesi of the coast of New Guinea. Those are another brand of the bare assed monkeys except these ones are kept on leashes and forced to pick coconuts for the natives all day long. I'd like one of those. Or an australian. Whatever suits me for the days events.

Yes they would be handy monkeys to have. Have you read "Half asleep in Frog Pyjamas" by Tom Robbins? There is a really cool monkey in it.
I don't know what you'd be doing in a day that would suit an Australian. They're not even housetrained!!@

I could train the australian. That is on a day that suits me to train him. I could teach him all sorts of stuff besides using the bathroom. I've never read the Tom Robbins book but hopefully someday I shall see it and read it. For if it has a cool monkey in it , it must be the kind of literature that I adore! Perhaps I'll just buy a monkey suit , so as to satisfy my obsession with monkeys. I'd like to wear a monkey suit.

Now let me tell you some of us Aussies have trained ourselves and we are planning to take over the world. So we can make it a really nice place for all the monkeys.....

And as for Red Dwarf, It Rocks!
Ask me any Red Dwarf Question, Go on.... I've read, seen and heard it all.....

No no Red Dwarf is just a cover! This forum is about Flowers and Blue-arsed monkeys, and um... Monkeys, Man! Monkeys.

But well done on the training issue. If you're ever in New Zealand you'd be welcome to come over to my house for a beer. We'd probably have to put newspaper down though, just to be on the safe side, y'know. Heeheehee

Anyway, as for Red Dwarf Q's:
How many fillings does Lister have in his teeth, in the fourth series? What colour are Holly's eyes? (1st series Holly of course)

I always wanted a monkey as a friend, but we don't get many in Oz. I took my nephew to the Zoo a while ago, he is only 2 and a half and he got to close to the monkey cage while no one was looking. A big bare assed monkey ran up to him extremely fast and grabbed him by the leg. It was pretty funny after the initial scare And don't worry he still likes monkeys.....

My favorite flower is one you can smoke......

I'll be there for the Beer, one day! I've always wanted to go to New Zealand. No need for the laying down of paper, I really am well trained! Unless we drink to much...

I'm not sure how many fillings Lister has although I do remember an episode where he loses one of his fillings. He gets Kryten to put it back temporarily with wood glue. He then gets a box of floss stuck to his face..... That's style.... He is also wearing a pink night gown, this happens to be the way he looks when he meets Konchanski at the start of series 7.

I'm pretty sure Holly has brown eyes...

And what is Lister's favorite food???? that's an easy one.

Ooh. And what color are Hilly's eyes??? (ps. I hate Hilly. I adore Holly)

Vindaloo with Mango Chutney and some Papadums.....

I can't remember the colour of Hilly's eyes, I think they are blue.......
Holly is a legend!

My favorite is Kryten, you can visit his website here!!! http://www.llew.co.uk/

fast response friend, hollly is the best thing since slice bread but we all know curry chicken is LIster's favorite? C'mon now! Hmm.......... I shall check out that home page right NOW.

Vindaloo is the type of curry - Chicken Vindaloo!!!
I am also cursed with a love of spicey indian food!

OOOOH. Good form on that answer very sneaky!!!! I like that.

I didn't mean to be sneaky!

Ok, what is written on the side of the box that Lister is found in as a baby??? Do you know the answer?

Listen Mister, i don't know who you are working for, but you are obviously trying to subvert the subject matter into a discussion of the poular British television comedy, "Red Dwarf". Please desist in this activity or we will be forced to bombard you with bare-assed monkeys!!!!

*pops up an umbrella over his head*
No monkies can stop me! Give me your bare assed best!!!
REDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARFREDDWARF!

"Aha! It is I, Fred Warf. You have invoked my name three times and so summoned me from my secret coctail lounge, deep beneath the earth's surface! I will now hang out in Mic's flat, smoke all his pot and eat all his food..."

Uh oh, now look what you've done... You've awakened my evil split personality!!!!!!

Hey evil one, getting stoned smoking all of Mic's grass and eating all his food doesn't make you evil!
Unless of course your other personality is against such behaviour.

What happened to the monkeys I was ready and everything!

My other personality finds it evil, because it's my grass and my pot and I don't want some other personality having fun with my body (maybe I should think about rephrasing that!)

As for the monkeys, due to a minor miscalculation in our bombing coordinate sattelite (cheaply purchased, ex-cold war from Russian Black markets), the monkeys were dropped on a gentleman by the name of Harold Shilling, who lives just 7 blocks away from you!!! In order to avoid an international incident, the whole thing has been covered up. Just try and find something about it in the papers!!

*Drops his beer and the last few cornflakes, falls to the ground screaming*

"Oh god not Harold Shilling! Please, It can't be true! He grew the best pot in South Australia!!! Noooooooo! !@#$#"

Don't worry we covered that fact up too. But don't worry the best pot in South Australia is as paltry dandelions in the face of distended extra-planetary psychedelic mushrooms when compared with the Clean Green GE free New Zealand herb. From the hardy buds of Northland through the sub-tropical, leafy expanses of the coromandel, from the sun kissed buds of the Hawkes Bay to the Hearty goodness of Taranaki's finest offerings. (Wouldn't that make great copy for a commercial??) We even have an endorsement from Bob Marley, who said that NZ pot was the strongest he ever smoked. . . or maybe that's just a stoner myth - certainly sounds like a good one anyway.

It wasn't a mistake either. we know how to hit you where it hurts!!!!