h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not a great darts fan, but I do remember on occasion when Keith Deller (I think) was playing. Commenting on how much the player had improved, Sid Waddell said, 'This lad has really been burning the midnight oil at both ends!' (I've often wondered how you manage that one!)

HA!

I suspect the first remark, in the entry, relates to a ditty, a cheerful song of rejection "Theres a chap down at the chip shop swears he's Elvis" by the daughter of Ewan McColl, whose name escapes me just now. Wish I'd never mentioned it!

Good article btw.

Kirsty, damn!

For true commentator's genius, you have to look no further than David Coleman. Immortalised in the Private Eye (a satirical magazine in the UK) column 'Colemanballs'. David Coleman is almost worth an entry by himself....hmmm..... This column is not entirely devoted to Mr. Coleman, but has readers sending in comments that they've heard form all sorts of commentators from every sport, current affairs or news programme when a presenter says something stupid. John Motson, a well known football commentator in the UK, has this to offer: "I know that Gareth Barry has been told by Howard Wilkinson to take a long hard look at these with his left foot."
JOHN MOTSON, BBC

Apparently, although Private Eye coined the phrase, 'Colemanballs', misquotes directly (and accurately) attributable to David Coleman are pretty thin on the ground. Murray Walker is much more prolific. My favourite of his is, 'You can cut the tension with a cricket stump'.

On the subject of cricket, and ignoring the famous 'The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey', my favourite occurred on the fifth bowl of an over. The ball span up and hit the batsman where it hurt. The commentater (Johnners, I think) made pleasant conversation while the umpire, batsman and anybody else decided whether the batsman was able to continue. When the decision had been made, the commentator announced it with the immortal, 'He's decided to play on with one ball left.'

David Coleman came up with this gem at this year's Sidney Olympics. Talking about the women's wieghtlifting event, the grab and lift, Mr. Coleman invented:"This lady is good. I saw her snatch this morning and it was magnificent" ! Quality.

Ted Lowe, a British television commentator for the snooker show "Pot Black"; when explaining which ball the player was attempting to hit, once said "For those viewers watching in black and white, the pink ball is just behind the green".