Did I Leave The Iron On?

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Did I Leave The Iron On? by Greebo T Cat

A big greeting to all Post readers and thanks for all the positive feedback on my column1.

As I write this, Ronnie O'Sullivan has just won the Embassy World Snooker championship after a run of stunning victories in the Quarter-Finals, Semi-Finals and Final. With Ray Reardon, the best player of the 1970s, in his corner, the Rocket looks unstoppable and makes the game look utterly effortless. He still sounds a bit stoned in interviews, though.

Another thing, while I'm on snooker. There have been lots of complaints about John Virgo's commentary. I can't for the life of me see how it is any better or worse than Willie Thorne's, Clive Everton's or Terry Griffiths'. Virgo might have a Jim Davidson collaboration forever tarnishing his reputation, but his snooker knowledge is second to none. Correspondence welcome on the subject.

Balls!

The curse of the Post's sports reporter strikes again. After
proclaiming it was time to pension off Marcus Trescothick last week,
the daft wazzock went and made 130 against the Windies in the 5th ODI. It wasn't enough for England as their score of 284 was eclipsed in a fast-scoring game.

Drop 'Em!

Speaking from my safety as a fan of the country's 90th-best club (phew!), I can report that the Premiership relegation positions have been decided, barring mathematical miracles. It is no surprise that Leeds have disappeared - they have been unforgivably poor all season, but there will be a few disppointments after lots of people backed Leicester for a recovery. Wolves surprised no-one by dropping as well.

Football-wise, the transfer rumour-mill is grinding into action
already. Hot favourites are for Michael Owen to leave Liverpool (the
hot money is going on Barcelona) and Jon Stead to be attracting
interest from Man Utd as a replacement for Ruud van Nistelhorse2. He'll be bloody pleased he scored the winning goal against them on Saturday, then.

Court in the act

A prize for 'most thorough ranking system' goes to the European squash championships, who were happy to publish the result that Hungary had won the 21st-23rd place play-offs with victories over Russia and the Isle of Man. Isn't that heartwarming?

Sport not to be missed this weekend: The British Masters golf on BBC
Thursday-Sunday. The Forest of Arden course is a really beautiful
traditional English course, with no linksy unpredictableness or
American 'target golf' influence. Defending champion Greg Owen is
injured, so the field is wide open. My man to watch is Paul Casey, who
thrives on narrow fairways and gentle greens.

That's all from me. Let's see what Several has to say, shall we?...

Several A/K/A Random's 'sporting blues'

Well, and let's see... AmSports, eh ? Baseball season, check. More steroid-use stories. Pro basketball and hockey playoffs? Check. They're still playing. Fourteen-year-old Freddy Adu playing all 80 minutes in a 1-1 pro soccer tie? Yep, got that too. Any more sled dog races or Arctic marathons? Sadly, no. Geeeeze, is this gonna have to be a baseball and steriods and the proposed World Cup pee-in-the-bottle story?

Oh no. We have doughnuts.

The Atlanta Braves baseball team recently played at the defending World Series champion Florida Marlins, and a popular national doughnut chain (Krispy Kreme) offered a giveaway - a dozen doughnuts if the home nine had a total of 13 base hits. For each customer that held a ticket stub for that particular game, a dozen doughnuts would be given away at any of the national franchise locations.

Yup, the Marlins recorded exactly 13 hits in the ballgame. That's a dozen doughnuts for each of the fans presenting a ticket stub for that game. It being a beautiful weekend night in Florida, there was nary a seat unoccupied in the old ballyard, and the national franchise found itself possibly giving away 494,712 doughnuts the next morning.

Here I sit, in the belfry, and do you think there's a doughnut within four miles? This is a thankless job, but I hope to try and have fun with it before Shazz and Greebs delete me.

So onward we AmSports fans trudge, to the mud and the mire that was the Kentucky Derby, one of the famed thoroughbred horse races, at historic Churchill Downs for the 130th annual 'Run for The Roses'.

Yawn. The big pre-race story was that the jockeys won the right in court to emblazen their britches with advertising logos, and (thankfully) none of them was compelled to put said advert logos on the place where the jockey meets the horse. (Although a certain English footballer's website might be attractive if displayed on the horse's hindquarters, but that's another story entirely.)

Of course, Derby officials were up in arms over the court's ruling that jockeys were allowed to make a few extra bucks, mostly arising from the Crown Royal Derby party, attended by automaker representatives from all over the globe, sponsored by the Ford Motor Company, which makes the Official Car of the 130th annual Kentucky Derby, which is the first jewel in the Visa Triple Crown of American horse racing.

Interestingly, in the running of the actual race, (won by Smarty Jones in two full lengths) two female trainers had horses running, a first in Derby history. Imperialism, trained by 21-year-old Kristen Mulhall posted third, with Song of the Sword, trained by 41-year-old Jennifer Pederson ran eleventh in the 18-horse field.

And that about wraps up last week in AmSport, boys and girls, just as the tenor saxophone on the CD player fades to echo. Proper timing in writing, as in music and comedy, can come in handy sometimes, as Arthur Dent learned.

Did I Leave The Iron On? Archive

Master B

with Several a.k.a. Random  smiley - vampiresmiley - musicalnote

06.05.04 Front Page

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1No! My NEWSPAPER column!2Oi! Lay off the Dutchman!... ed

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