h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok let the newbie answer the trick questions

1; How often do males masturbate? It depends on the amount of sex recieved without the involvement of my own hands....wichs brings it up to a couple a times a week...(ca 3-10).

2; Do we like women to watch? Of course! Is there any guy who wouldn't prefer to have a girl watch?. It really gets (comes) a lot better if there are a live female somewhere in the same room.
You also get better response from a live person than the usual wanker mags -for the most part. But i know some guys who get downright angry if their girlfriends asks to watch - dunno why.

btw how often do you girls do it?

the newbie has spilled his guts...Xiu who can't believe he actually specified how many times

*Adopts stiff upper lip and best Churchill accent...*

"Never!!"

Seriously, I had my libido surgically removed years ago!

I've seen those with that crippling handicap before. I must say, it is a sad thing to see!

NM

Nah! *Grins wickedly* I'm happy(ish)! It's just my poor, long suffering hubbie who is the sad thing to see - bless his cotton socks - or should I say, boxing gloves!

OK Foxytramp. I'm game.
Even when getting reasonably frequent sex (three times a day say)
I'd say I still probably masturbate 2 or 3 times in a day.
Current record for orgasms in a single day is ten.
It has been suggested that this is somehow a sign of mental illness
on my part, but I chalk it up to just being extra horny.

I certainly wouldn't mind being watched by a female, though I'd much rather she participate. However, if that's what turned her on I'd be happy to oblige.

Is this excessive, normal, or what? I don't thik those that are fessing up are being fully forthcoming (pun intended)

"Normal" depends on age. That might be normal for young whippersnappers....but for a "geezer", such as myself, it would be considered a true indication of insanity!

NM

What ? Speak Up ! I can't hear you...!

TM.

....and you are a self-confessed Spurs fan, thus confirming all those viscous rumours I keep hearing at Highbury about Spurs fans. And I thought it was just prejudiced bigotry...

No, they're true. We're just big enough to admit it.

Well you are, Big Boy. Well played. See the entry on quotes for my stance on the issue.

Good quotes, probably the second-best Woody Allen of all-time, beaten only by "My brain is my second-favourite organ"

Yo Foxy, still up to your old tricks?
To return to your question... although I find that my 'equipment' seems to recharge every 45 minutes, so technically you could perform, oh, *many* times a day, I would agree with Researcher NNNNN (can't remember the number...) in that ten times in a row is about all I can do before that damned male sleep-circuit cuts in. As to how often do I 'play the pink oboe' (there's another euphemism for you), well I guess that depends on (a) whether I'm alone at nights and (b) if I'm not alone, whether whoever it is I'm with, finds 'tugging the todger' an amusing part of sex or not. If (a), then probably once or twice a day. If (b) then I guess either the ground or the sky is the limit.

Okay, Foxytramp, I'll rise to the occasion (and I promise, no more puns like that...) I've followed this train a bit and am getting rather tired of the circumlocution that's going on....

I like a round in the morning before getting out of bed and one to ge to sleep by - and one or two during the day if the mood and the moment strikes me. Sometimes I find that I'm using masterbation to escape with; most of the time this is a genuine release.

I don't know if I'd like a woman watching; won't know until it happens and then I'll - maybe - post something about it.

You'll probably notice our utterly irrational behaviour when talking about our reproductive systems and how we handle societally-imposed ideas (either the ones we fall victim to, or the reactions of others who've fallen victim to them). Either way we're all a bit of a mess, despite what we may claim.
The annoying part of that is that sometimes the cliches are true, and other times we make them true by buying into them; hard to know one from the other sometimes.

Fruitbat

I'm a female teenager and the most I've mustered in a row (self-imposed cause I've still never had a test-drive :-=) is about four orgasms. After that the ol' c**t gets pretty sore.

Ok, i just gotta say...i just came into the forum for this article just to see what people have said about it....and i read throught thw whole thing...I AM CRACKING UP! Seriously, some of this is halarious! I completely agree with everything you said, and if i ever had any guilt about...our subject...i sure as hell dont now!

Rolling on the floor laughing,
NileRuler

He-he!!!! One thing is sure......if it's a topic of interest, it's on H2G2!!!!

How 'bout puttin somethin' on your intro NileRuler.....so you may be properly welcomed!

NM

[YK appears in a burst of plaster as he falls through the ceiling]

Greetings! Me-sa back!

YK.....not meaning to sound "parental"....but. Don't you have somewhere else to be!?

NM

Nope. No where better, really, and I couldn't find anywhere worse.

ROTFL!!!!!! How true!

NM